Neon Genesis Evangelion  Deviance
by Random1377
Summary: Things that are real... things that are not real... the fragility of the human heart... the strength of the human spirit... the need to love, and to be loved... let it all return to nothing... let there be... Unity...  Final chapter online now.
1. Asuka: Beyond her heart

Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to any of the characters depicted in this story, Gainax does, God bless 'em – so don't sue me, k? Also, this story has a few hints of lemon, but nothing too descriptive… you've been warned.  
  
Neon Genesis Evangelion  
Deviance  
By Random1377  
  
Part 1  
(End of Episode 15)  
Asuka: Beyond her heart  
  
"So, Shinji, do you want to kiss me?" Shinji Ikari's mind started racing, -is she serious? Am I dreaming or something? Maybe I'm still in the entry plug somehow…- "Well do you or not? It's not that big of a deal, just a way to kill time." Shinji looked at Asuka Langley Souryu, who was now standing up and regarding him intently.  
  
For the first time in months, Shinji was mad – very mad. "You think it's ok to play with my feelings like this? Like this is a game?!"   
  
Asuka took a few steps back as Shinji quickly began closing the distance between them, "You S-Stay back!"  
  
Shinji sneered at her, "What's the matter, Second Child? Scared you might like it too much? I thought you weren't scared of anything."  
  
Asuka stopped retreating and glared at him, "I'm not! I'm not scared of you, so come on – if you're man enough! DO IT!"  
  
Shinji's eyes narrowed and he grabbed Asuka's arms, pushing her up against the wall. "Hey! Be carf-" Shinji's lips pressed against hers silenced her protests.  
  
In spite of her bold words, Asuka WAS scared. She had never seen Shinji so angry, and he was holding her tightly in place, -What if he won't stop?- She thought, her heart racing -he's stronger than I am- Then another thought occurred to her, -What if I don't LET him stop?-  
  
This last thought hit her like a slap – did she LIKE him pinning her to the wall and kissing her like this? Suddenly she became aware of everything about the situation. The way he smelled, -Is that after-shave? Does he SHAVE?- The way his hand held her in place, -but he's not hurting me – and he could. He's… gentle- And the fact that he no longer looked mad, -He looks so… peaceful- For the first time since she was seven, Asuka surrendered to her feelings – she closed her eyes, and kissed him back.  
  
After a few moments, Shinji's eyes flew open and he let go of her arms and stepped away, breaking the kiss. Asuka opened her eyes slowly and looked at him, rubbing her arms absently. "I'm, um, sorry Asuka, I-"  
  
Shinji stopped abruptly as Asuka stepped closer to him, never taking her eyes off of his. He flinched and closed his eyes as she raised her right hand, anticipating a slap unlike any he had experienced before -I deserve it, too- he thought with disgust -how could I have done that?!-  
  
He waited for what seemed like forever and then his breath caught in his throat as he felt her hand lightly caress his cheek.  
  
"Shinji?" He opened his eyes to find her smiling at him, "I'm not going to hit you, stupid" Instead, she put her other hand on the other side of his face and pulled his lips gently to hers. After a few seconds, she pulled away and looked into his eyes again, "You've never been kissed." She smiled as her turned bright red, confirming her suspicion; "It's ok…. I haven't either" She suppressed a giggle at his surprised reaction, then became serious, "I'm sorry Shinji, for everything. And you are right – this is something to take seriously. Will you take it seriously with me?" With that, she leaned back against the wall, pulling his lips to hers before he could reply. She wrapped her arms around him and held him close, enjoying the feeling of his body pressed against hers.  
  
Shinji's mind was in overdrive, -This must be a dream – it MUST!- Suddenly, he no longer cared if it was or not. The girl he whom he had thought so often about was in his arms, kissing him. He gently opened his mouth and ran his tongue slowly across her lips, eliciting first a surprised squeak and then a soft moan as her lips parted and let his tongue in.  
  
They kissed with increasing passion for several minutes, until Asuka broke away, breathing hard, "Wow." Shinji laid his head on her shoulder, but could only nod. After a minute, Asuka gently pulled away and started walking towards her room.  
  
Shinji, sure he had done something wrong, said, "Asuka, I'm sor-"   
  
She spoke without stopping or turning around, "Shinji?" "What?" She was now in from of her door, where she stopped. After a moment of silence she said softly, "Shinji, I want to go to bed."  
  
Shinji was confused, "Um, ok. It's still light out, but-"  
  
She spoke again, softer, "I want you to come with me. Will you, Shinji?" She turned around, and he could see tears shining in her eyes.  
  
He swallowed hard, "Asuka, don't you think we're a little too young to-"  
  
"What did you do two weeks ago?" The tears were running down her cheeks, now, but her voice was calm, "Exactly two weeks ago today."  
  
He thought for a moment, "I fought an angel"  
  
She walked back over to him and took his hand, "Shinji, you almost died. So did I. So did Rei. So did everyone. What we do is dangerous, Shinji. Each time could be our last, doesn't that make us a little more grown up than the average fourteen year old?" She took his face in her hands and looked into his eyes, "I don't want to die, and I don't want you to die… but I know it is a possibility. I can't deny what I feel for you anymore. If one of us does die, I want to have been as close to you as possible. Do you understand Shinji? Do you understand that I love you?"   
  
He nodded, and kissed her palm, "Yes, I understand… and I love you too." She smiled at him and wiped away her tears. Hand in hand, they went to her room.  
  
To be continued.  
  
  
Author's notes: I wrote this one because I began to wonder, "What if Asuka pushed too hard and Shinji had lost his temper, just at the right time?" And "What if Asuka let go of her pride, and acknowledged her love for Shinji – at the right time?" The result, you just read. Due to some positive feedback (and yes, there was some negative too), I have decided to continue this thread of an idea through End of Evangelion. I'm going to call it Deviance, as it deviates from the original story line. This serves as part 1. I don't know how fast I'll be able to get parts out, but I'm hoping for every couple weeks.  
  
Feedback is welcome, send it to Random1377@yahoo.com.  
  



	2. 

Disclaimer: I don't own Evangelion, I don't own any of the characters, I don't own any of the mecha – I own pretty much nothing. The characters, mecha, concepts, and just about everything else aside of the basic idea for this particular story belong to Gainax (and if they are reading this, please don't sue me, I'm just having a little fun with your characters in a strictly not-for-profit way.) This is part of a story line called Deviance, and a direct sequel to Asuka: Beyond her heart, so read that first (the other story, The moment when two hearts become one, is part of the same continuity, but not required reading. All you really need to know from that story is that they DID do what they discussed at the end of Asuka: BHH, and that Asuka is FIERCLY loyal to Shinji from this point forward… watch for falling WAFF.) One more thing: there are spoilers all over the place, so if you have not seen the entire series of Evangelion, and you don't like spoilers, don't read.  
  
Part 2  
  
(Episode 16)  
Possessions  
By Random1377  
  
"Asuka!!" Asuka slowly became aware of a rhythmic pounding sound, dragging her up from unconsciousness. "G'way!" she mumbled angrily, and tried to return to the pleasant dream she had been having (something about being held close and rocked to sleep).  
  
"Asuka, wake up!! Shinji's gone!" It was Misato's voice, sounding very worried. Asuka tried to sit up and found that she could not, most likely due to the arms that were holding her tightly in place. She looked down, confused.  
  
A moment later, the events of the last night came rushing back – the touches… the kisses… the pleasure… the pain. The enormity of it all came crashing down on her, -Nothing will be the same,- she thought, not unhappily, -nothing CAN be the same-.  
  
She realized that Misato was about to break down her door and said, trying to sound cheerful, "Just a minute, Misato. It's all ok!"  
  
Misato stopped pounding, but went on talking, "We have to find him, Asuka," apparently not assured by Asuka's words. Asuka quickly pulled on an oversized tee-shirt and went to the door, -Guess she might as well find out now,- Asuka thought, not looking forward to the prospect, -though I wish I'd had more time to prepare-.  
  
Misato heard Asuka's lock being undone, then the child's face peeked through the through a small opening, "Umm… good morning Misato," the second child said quietly, "you're up early."   
  
Misato stared at her, "Early?" she echoed, "Asuka, it's 11:40."  
  
Asuka blinked in surprise, -It can't be THAT late, can it?-  
  
Misato was still talking, "I've already been to work to deal with some… problems…" She thought of the giant white being on the red cross and suppressed a shiver. "Why aren't you in school? The teacher said you were both absent, and Shinji's not in his room, did he leave a note or talk to you? His bed hasn't been slept in."  
  
Asuka was uncomfortable, but she screwed up her courage. Taking a deep breath, she said, "He's in here… with me, Misato." She waited tensely for the explosion she knew was inevitable.  
  
Misato looked surprised, then relaxed visibly, "Oh thank God. I thought he had run again." She smiled, a wicked gleam in her eye, shifting to tease-mode in a heartbeat, "You haven't hurt him, have you Asuka?"  
  
Asuka blushed bright red, "Well… no, I…" she trailed off, looking at the floor.  
  
Misato's smile widened and she quickly pulled Asuka's door open, yelling playfully, "Hey Shinji! Are you ok? Or has Asuka-"  
  
The words froze on her lips as she was greeted by a bleary eyed, and obviously naked (at least from the waist up) Shinji, rubbing his eyes, "What is it Misato," he asked tiredly, "are we under attack?" His eyes shot open as the realized where he was. He pulled the covers up to his chin, "Umm, I can explain… I mean… umm…"  
  
"I see…" Misato said, her voice becoming instantly business-like, "get dressed, Shinji, we need to talk." Shinji got out of the bed and started fumbling for his clothes, the blanket wrapped tightly around his waist.  
  
Asuka surprised her by moving between them and crossing her arms in front of her, "No." she said, firmly.  
  
Misato sighed, "Asuka you don't know what you're-"  
  
Asuka cut her off, and the fire in the young girls eyes surprised Misato, "I said no, Misato. You won't take him from me."  
  
Misato tried a different approach, her tone becoming soothing, "I'm not going to take him from you Asuka, I just want to talk to him so that he understands the conseq-"  
  
Asuka suddenly stepped closer to Misato, dropping her voice to a whisper, "You're going to try and convince him that this is a bad thing, aren't you?"  
  
Misato involuntarily leaned away from the furious girl before her; -I didn't know Asuka could be this fierce about… about HIM-  
  
Asuka continued to speak, her eyes narrowing, "Well, I won't let you, do you understand me? I've realized that he is all that I want in this world, and I will NOT let him go!" She stepped back and wrapped her arms around Shinji's waist – making it difficult for him to tuck in his shirt, so he stopped trying and put his arm around her, not meeting Misato's gaze. Asuka, on the other hand was openly glaring at her.  
  
-This is bad- Misato thought to herself, -I'll lose her – lose both of them – if I keep this up, and I can't afford that- Being a skilled tactician, she realized that this was a fight Asuka would not give up. She raised her hands in surrender, "Asuka, I'm not asking you to give anything up."  
  
Asuka continued to glare at her, tightening her grip on Shinji. Misato thought he winced a little, but he said nothing.  
  
Misato sighed deeply, "I hope you at least had the sense to use protection when you…" She trailed off, noticed the way they both blushed and looked at the floor. Asuka seemed less argumentative all of the sudden. "You DIDN'T!!" She slapped her forehead.  
  
Shinji spoke hesitatingly, "Well, we didn't…. umm… have anything… and… umm… we…"  
  
Misato cut him off sharply, "IF I don't decide to kill you both, and IF I decide to let you anywhere near each other again – in a few YEARS, mind you – you better ALWAYS use it!"  
  
Asuka looked up and smiled at her, Misato shivered at the sight. Asuka now spoke in a calm, almost pleasant voice, "Misato. If you try to forbid this… I'll never pilot for you again."  
  
Misato frowned, trying to decide if the girl was bluffing or not, "I think-"  
  
Shinji quietly spoke up, still not looking at Misato, "That… that goes for me too, Misato. I… I won't let her go now." Asuka closed her eyes and sighed quietly. Shinji went on, finally looking at his guardian, "Misato, I'm sorry… but if you try to pull us apart, I won't ever pilot unit 01 again. I promise you that we will be safe from now on, but you cannot separate us." He held Asuka tighter, meeting Misato's gaze steadily.   
  
Misato looked from one to the other, shocked at the sudden change in both. –They're serious… both of them. I've got to end this now.- She decided to focus on Shinji, "So. You would condemn the entire human race just for this imagined love? You must know that you are both too young to fully understand what…" She trailed off, realizing she had just lost.  
  
Asuka felt Shinji's body tense as Misato said 'imagined love', and she looked up at his face. His jaw was set, and his eyes were hard and flat. He spoke softly after a few seconds of silence, "I think you know that I would… what has the world ever given me besides pain and sadness?" He dropped his eyes again; "I thought you knew me better than anyone, Misato…"  
  
It was Misato's turn to blush. She looked at the floor, "I'm sorry, Shinji… I just… I don't want you to get hurt, and I think you two are taking this too lightly."   
  
Shinji's voice softened, "I've never taken anything this seriously in my life, Misato. Don't worry about us, we can handle it." He suddenly smiled brightly, "We're EVA pilots!"  
  
Misato smiled in spite of herself, then frowned and spoke firmly, "NO ONE is to know of this, do you understand that? If anyone found out that you two were… intimate, I would lose my job, and you might be removed as pilots. I don't care if you tell people that you are dating, but no one can know you have slept together." She turned her head, muttering, "Hell *I* don't even want to know…"  
  
Both children nodded quickly, then Asuka spoke tentatively, "Umm, I don't know if we can… umm… pretend. If I'm… umm…" she trailed off, looking at the floor again – she was quite familiar with it by now.  
  
Misato nodded, understanding, "We'll cross that bridge later. Which brings me to the next problem." She held up her forefinger, "One, there will be NO sex in this house." she shook her head as they started to protest, "Not negotiable. Period. Two, though you may think I can't stop you from having sex, I WILL find a way if I find out that you are not using protection." They nodded vigorously again, "Three," she crossed the room quickly and threw an arm around each of them, pulling them into a tight embrace, "and three… you have to promise me that you won't let go of each other, and that you'll always be true."  
  
They both looked at her like she had sprouted wings. After it was apparent that she wasn't going to let go right away, they each put an arm around her. They might have stayed that way for hours, if three cell phones had not started ringing simultaneously.  
  
***  
Central Dogma was in chaos when Misato arrived, technicians were running everywhere delivering printouts and other data.   
  
"You're late, major!" Ritsuko said angrily  
  
"Sorry," Misato said, still remembering how Asuka had gently squeezed Shinji's hand (which she had been holding on the car ride over), as they separated to get changed, "What's going on?! The Fuji observation center-"  
  
Aoba Shigeru cut her off, "Never detected it. It just appeared right above us"  
  
Hyouga Makoto piped up, "Pattern is orange, no AT field detected."  
  
Misato wondered quietly, "What is this thing?"  
  
Ritsuko leaned over to Maya Ibuki's desk, "Is it a new kind of angel?"  
  
Maya shook her head, "Unknown, the Magi are withholding their judgment on that."  
  
"Damn," Misato said angrily, "another situation like this and commander Ikari is not here AGAIN!"  
  
The three EVAs had been launched in a rough triangle at the edges of the city – surrounding the gigantic sphere – and all three pilots were sneaking peeks at it from around the sides of buildings, trying to decide on a course of action.  
  
Misato's voice came over the communications network, "Can you all hear me? I've sent you all of the known target data – that's literally all we know right now. Approach it carefully and observe its reactions… and, if possible, try to lure it outside of the city. I want you all to back up each other, is that understood?"  
  
"Yes, Ma'am." All three pilots spoke at the same time, then Shinji spoke again, "I'll take the point."  
  
"What?" Misato, Ritsuko and Asuka all spoke at the same time. Misato shook her head, "That's too dangerous, Shinji, just follow my plan."   
  
Shinji's voice still started to break up, "What's that, Misato? Go ahead? Ok." His image disappeared, replaced by static.   
  
Asuka's voice came to Misato, followed a second later by Rei Ayanami's, "Unit 02 will back him up." "Unit 00 will back up as well…"  
  
Misato's jaw dropped, "Did he just…?" Ritsuko smiled at her friend's back, "Shinji's hormones are kicking in, aren't they?" Misato glared at her, "I'll have to chew him out when he gets back."   
  
Shinji had maneuvered unit 01 to within five hundred yards of the giant sphere, still well within it's shadow, and was waiting impatiently, "Asuka, Ayanami, are you in position yet?"  
  
Rei's soft voice came back first, "Not yet…" Her EVA was slowly picking its way through the city, an enormous rifle cradled in both hands.  
  
Asuka's voice whispered back on a private channel, "Not yet, honey… you know an EVA can't move that fast. Wait for me, ok?" She sounded a little nervous. Shinji thought distractedly, -how unlike her-. He flexed his hands, waiting.  
  
Asuka tried to move forward, but her umbilical cable had reached its maximum length, "Shiest!" She cursed, quickly ejecting one plug and grabbing another from a nearby storehouse, -there,- she thought, -hang on Shinji… I'm coming…- she started to move again.  
  
Rei was close to being in position, but had taken a while to get there due to a vague unease about treading in the sphere's shadow, -Something is not right…- she thought.  
  
"Are you there?" Shinji's patience had run out, -FINE!- he thought suddenly making a fist, -I'll take care of it myself!-  
  
With a scream, he leaned the EVA around the edge of the building it was behind and squeezed off three shots in rapid succession. He watched all three shots streak towards the sphere, -that should be a ki… what the hell?-  
  
The sphere disappeared as the first shell made contact with its surface.   
  
"Pattern blue!" Hyouga shouted, "Angel confirmed! It's directly below unit 01!!"  
  
Shinji looked down as the shadow below him became darker… and the EVA began to sink, "What the hell? A Shadow…?" He aimed the over-sized desert eagle magnum down and pulled the trigger again and again, emptying the clip. "This can't be happening!! Misato! Help me!!" The sphere reappeared above unit 01. Shinji could only stare at it in terror.  
  
"Ikari!" Rei started to bring the rifle up, -You will not have him-, she thought protectively, bracing the EVA between two buildings and zeroing in on the center of the large sphere,  
  
Shinji continued to scream, the EVA now up to it's elbows in the shadow, "Misato!! MISATO!! Help!!! MISATO!!!" -Cold… it's so cold…- his mind registered the fact that his lower half was suddenly freezing. "MISATO!!!!" The shadow quickly enveloped the rest of the EVA. Shinji's frantic cries were cut off as the horn of the EVA disappeared, "MISATO!!!! MISATO!!! ASUK-"  
  
A burst of static replaced the feed from unit 01.  
  
"ASUKA! REI! Rescue unit 01, HURRY!!!!" Misato screamed, as close to hysterics as she had ever been.  
  
Asuka was already moving. Unit 02 raced through the streets of Tokyo-3 like a red bullet. -Oh please… please let me get there in time!!- Her mind was a whirlwind of concern.  
  
Satisfied that she was lined up correctly, Rei pulled the trigger on the massive rifle twice, the kickback causing many thousands of dollars worth of damage to the buildings she had wedged herself between.  
  
Both shots passed through the target, smashing into the building behind it as the sphere vanished once more.  
  
Maya yelled, "It's gone again!"  
  
"Asuka, watch the street!!" Misato warned.  
  
"A shadow?!" Asuka flung unit 02 airborne, grasping the side of a building and holding tight. "Uh, oh no!!" She cried out in terror as the building started to sink. She buried the ax she was carrying into the side of the building, then using it as a step she pulled her progressive knife and stabbed it in as well, pulling herself onto the roof. "The whole city is sinking…" she whispered quietly. Catching sight of unit 01's umbilical cable, she frowned and willed her EVA to stand, "Shinji...."  
  
"Asuka, Rei, pull back!" Misato's voice came to her.  
  
Rei's voice echoed her own thoughts, "But unit 01 and Shinji are still inside!"  
  
-Is that… worry in her voice?- Asuka thought.  
  
"This is a direct order… fall back now." Misato spoke through clenched teeth.  
  
"NO!" Asuka's voice rang through the command center, drawing everyone's attention, "I'm going after him!" On screen the view changed to an external shot of unit 02: it was standing straight up, arms out to the sides, preparing to dive.  
  
"DAMITT!" Misato turned to Maya, "Eject her plug and reel unit 02 in using the umbilical cable, now!!!" Maya keyed in the sequence and unit 02's entry plug shot from the back of it's neck. The EVA slumped forward, and was promptly pulled backward by the cable attached to it's back. Misato whispered, "Forgive me, Asuka."  
  
***  
  
Rei and Asuka were both leaning against one of NERVs mobile command centers, arms folded, waiting for Misato to return with a battle strategy.  
  
-Why am I concerned?- Rei glanced at the shadow, -Why should I care if he is recovered? It was my position to back him up, but I do not understand why I am still thinking of him. Perhaps…-  
  
Asuka's thoughts, though regarding the same person, ran along an entirely different vein, -DAMN you Misato… I could have gotten him back!- though she did not quite believe the thought herself, it did make her feel better to have someone to blame, -Hang on, Shinji… I know I'll see you again, I just know it.-  
  
Rei spoke to Asuka quietly, "Pilot Souryu, may I ask you a question?"  
  
Asuka regarded her questioningly, -I think that's the first time she has spoken without being spoken to first,- "What is it, Wondergirl?" Since her mind was truly elsewhere, her voice contained only a trace of her usual venom.  
  
Rei keep her eyes downcast as she spoke, "Why are you concerned for Pilot Ikari?"  
  
Asuka flushed, and stammered, "Because… because he's a fellow pilot, and I… I should have been there to help him."  
  
Rei was silent for a moment, considering. She then spoke again, raising her eyes to meet Asuka's, "Your answer does not seem accurate. We have been in danger before, and you have not previously exhibited this much concern for him."  
  
Asuka was thunderstruck, -Is this… Rei? Or has she been replaced by a talkative clone?!?- "I… I don't know what you are looking for Wondergirl, can we just drop it?" She leaned her head against the wall behind her and closed her eyes, thinking, -Great, Shinji's trapped in a 'pocket universe' and I'm getting the third degree from little miss blue.-  
  
When she opened her eyes again, a few seconds later, she almost fell down from the shock of what she saw. Rei had stepped away from the wall she had been leaning against and was several inches from Asuka's face, regarding her intently.  
  
"What? What is it?" Asuka asked her, slightly unnerved by Rei's calm red eyes.  
  
Rei was silent for another moment, then spoke in the same calm tone as before, "I would prefer to not 'drop it', Pilot Souryu. I am… conflicted, and I believe that you may be able to help me resolve the conflict. You are concerned, where before you seemed to be unconcerned with Ikari's fate. I would like to know why… as I am also concerned, and do not fully understand the reason."  
  
Asuka became aware that her mouth was hanging open and closed it with a snap, -I think that's the most I've ever heard out of her,- she looked at Rei, who was waiting patiently, -and she's not backing down.- "I…" -Why am I scared of this little doll?!- she thought angrily.   
  
She pushed herself away from the wall, bringing her face closer to Rei's. She whispered, "You really want to know, Wondergirl?" -To hell with Misato, I don't care who knows!- "Fine. I care for Shinji – more than care… I love him! I don't want to see him get hurt, is that what you wanted to hear?"  
  
Rei's quick response once again surprised Asuka, "Yes." She stepped back and leaned against the command vehicle again.  
  
-Oh, you're not getting away that easily!- Asuka thought. She turned to face Rei, who was once again staring at the ground, "What about you?" she sneered, "Why do YOU care? I've never seen you care about anything but following the commander's orders."  
  
Rei's eyes widened, -Is that so?- she thought. Out loud she said, "I do not know why." She considered Asuka for a moment before continuing, "Yet based on my current feelings I know that this emotion can only be the one described as love, and I feel that I must protect him from harm."  
  
Asuka's brow drew down dangerously, "Shinji is mine, do you hear me? MINE!" Her hands flexed, itching to wrap around the throat of the girl who was calmly telling her that she loved Shinji.  
  
Rei remained cool, apparently unaware of how close to death (or at least a beating) she was. She went on, cocking her head to the side, "Pilot Ikari is not yours, or mine. He is not owned by anyone." She looked closer at Asuka, "I believe that you misunderstand me, Pilot Souryu. I do not wish to unite with Pilot Ikari; I only wish to protect him. There are more types of love than one."  
  
The anger drained from Asuka as she realized what Rei was saying. "Why?" she whispered, not understanding, "Why do you love him…?"  
  
Rei shook her head, "As I sated before, I do not-"  
  
Asuka waved her hand, cutting Rei off, "Not good enough, Wondergirl. I want to know why."  
  
Rei flushed slightly, breaking eye contact with the other girl, "I believe it is because… he was kind to me."  
  
For the third time in ten minutes, Asuka's jaw fell open, "That's IT?! Because he was nice to you??" Rei met her eyes, and Asuka's breath caught, -Her eyes… so much pain. I… I never knew…-  
  
Rei spoke quietly, "Yes. He was kind to me, and he asked nothing in return. No one has ever been kind to me without requiring something in exchange," her mouth drew down very slightly, "and I will defend him, Pilot Souryu, even from you if necessary. I will not see him hurt."   
  
Asuka could see that she meant it. She nodded, satisfied (choosing to ignore the threat), and went back to leaning against the command vehicle, -Maybe Wondergirl isn't so bad after all…- she thought.  
  
***  
  
"Twelve hours…" Shinji whispered to himself, "twelve hours since I switched to life support mode. In four or five hours… I'll be dead."  
  
He uncurled from the ball he had pulled himself into and grabbed the butterfly handles of unit 01, pushing one of the triggers. The entry plug flashed through a series of colors, finally settling on unrelieved white. With a sigh, he pushed the trigger again, "Still nothing but white noise… nothing on the radar, either…"  
  
He pulled his legs up to his chest for warmth, "Asuka…" he whispered her name quietly, "I… I just wanted to show you that I wasn't a loser… and now look at me." He frowned sadly, "I'm hungry…"  
  
***  
  
"You're going to WHAT?!?" Misato's voice rang out in the quite night air.  
  
"It s the only thing we could come up with on such short notice, Major! Dropping all nine hundred and ninety two N2 into the shadow while the two remaining EVAs activate their AT fields is the only chance we have." Ritsuko was starting to loose her temper, -why can't she get this through her head?- she wondered.  
  
"But… but… that kind of explosion would destroy unit 01!! Or at the very least kill Shinji! What the hell kind of rescue operation is this?!"  
  
Ritsuko met her gaze steadily, "Our number one priority is to get the EVA back, or destroy it if that is not possible. The pilot's life is secondary."  
  
Misato's hand flashed out, making solid contact with Ritsuko's cheek.  
  
"Ungh…" Ritsuko grunted in surprise, then picked her glasses up, glaring at Misato, "I'm taking command of this operation effective immediately. You are obviously too emotional to handle it." She walked away, talking into her cell phone.  
  
Misato stood still, shaking with rage, "Why… why is unit 01 so important!?" she whispered to herself. Then she thought of Asuka, and how she would tell her, -Ritsuko, it's a damn good thing Asuka wasn't here… or I think she may have hurt you…-  
  
***  
  
Shinji woke from a light doze, "wha?" He looked around the entry plug, sensing something different.  
  
"It's getting cloudy!!" He yelled, finally grasping the change, "Hard to… breathe… it smells…" his eyes widened, "It smells like BLOOD in here!!!"  
  
Frantically he jumped up and pulled on the release to the hatch for the plug, screaming, "It smells like blood! I hate this place!! Let me OUT!!!" His screams faded to whimpers as the hatch refused to budge, "Someone help me… Misato… Ayanami… father… Asuka…"  
  
Exhausted, he slumped back into his seat, "Asuka… I'm sorry," his tears dissipated into the LCL, "I guess I couldn't be there for you after all. I'm just a failure…"  
  
He hugged himself, shivering, "It's getting colder, too… everything is starting to fail."  
  
He closed his eyes, "Asuka… maybe I can dream of you…"  
  
His breathing began to slow down and become even, and Shinji Ikari DID dream…  
  
***  
"No way." Asuka's voice was flat.  
  
They were gathered in the planning room, listening to Ritsuko outline the plan to bomb the angel (and her lover) from here to Heaven's door… the real one.   
  
"I want no part of this!" She went on, her arms folded under her breasts.  
  
Ritsuko calmly stared her down, "Are you done yet?" As Asuka had no response other than to glare at her, she continued, "As I was saying, there is a fifteen percent chance that Unit 01 will be able to withstand the blast." She raised her hand as Asuka began to speak, "Currently, the Magi give Shinji a zero percent survival chance." She met Asuka's gaze, "Now perhaps you understand why it must be this way, yes?"  
  
Asuka could not hold the older woman's eyes, "Yes… I understand…" she whispered reluctantly.  
  
"Good," Ritsuko spoke briskly, "then both of you get to your positions, there is not much time left."  
  
Asuka hesitated and then nodded, moving swiftly for the door. Ritsuko began to turn back to the monitors, when she noticed that Rei had not left, "Is there something I can do for you, Rei?"  
  
Rei nodded and spoke quietly, "Yes, doctor Akagi. I have a question to ask. In the event that Pilot Ikari is not recovered, who will his possessions transfer too?"  
  
Ritsuko looked at the young girl, confused, "I would imagine they would go to his father, as he is his only relative, why?"  
  
Rei ignored her question, instead countering with another, "In the event that his father does not want them, they would be disposed of?"  
  
The older woman's confusion was growing, "Y-Yes, I suppose so…" -What is she trying to ask me?- she thought.  
  
Rei looked her straight in the eyes, "In the event that commander Ikari does not want Pilot Ikari's possessions, may I have them?"  
  
Ritsuko's eyes widened, -Why… why would she want his things?- She spoke haltingly, "I… I suppose so… Rei… but I don't-"  
  
"Thank you, doctor Akagi." Rei said simply, then turned and left the room, thinking, -Now I know that I will always have something to remind me of this feeling, even if he is gone.-  
  
Ritsuko could only stare after the girl with a puzzled expression on her face.  
  
***  
  
Inside unit 01's entry plug, Shinji was awake once more, "It's so cold… suit's failing…" He found that he lacked the strength to open his eyes, "So tired… of everything… Asuka…" he frowned slightly, "Asuka… I'm so… sorry that I couldn't… live up to my promise. If I… see you again… I swear I'll never… never… let you…" his voice trailed off and his brow cleared, a look of tranquil peace spread across his features.  
  
On the wrist of his plug suit, a red light flashed in time with Shinji's heartbeat. The light blinked once… twice… three times… and winked out.  
  
The entry plug was silent.  
  
***  
  
Inside unit 00, Rei felt uneasy, -something is…- her thought trailed off. She looked at the shadow intently, then whispered with a soft smile, "He's coming…"  
  
Back at the Command Vehicle, Maya was yelling, "All of our gauges are going off the scale!!"  
  
"But we haven't done anything yet!" Ritsuko shot back.  
  
"Is it Shinji!?" Misato looked at one of the monitors hopefully.  
  
Ritsuko shook her head, "Not possible, Unit 01 must be completely out of power!"  
  
Onscreen the ground had begun to shake and crack apart, forming red fissures like a complex spider's web.  
  
"What's going on?" Asuka whispered staring at the undulating street. Her attention was drawn to the sphere, which had become black like the shadow on the street and started to quiver.  
  
Suddenly an arm thrust it's way out of the sphere, followed by a gout of blood, and a few seconds later, EVA unit 01's head.  
  
The EVA unit screamed repeatedly as it tore it's way free of the sphere.  
  
"God in Heaven…" Asuka whispered in awe, "is THAT what I'm piloting?!?!"  
  
With a final howl, the giant mecha burst out, sending bloody pieces of the angel flying in all directions and falling to the street with a resounding crash.  
  
"Eject the plug, now!" Ritsuko ordered. Maya entered the command, and the entry plug flew form the purple robot.  
  
The EVA stood still for a moment, then collapsed face down in the street, the light leaving its eyes as it came down.  
  
***  
  
Shinji awoke to the feel of warm night air washing over him. Someone was shouting his name.  
  
"Shinji! SHINJI!!!" He opened his eyes to find Misato and Asuka, one on each side of the entry plug, leaning over him. Both had tears in their eyes. Asuka was holding his hand in both of hers.  
  
Misato collapsed against him, wrapping her arms around him and sobbing, but it was Asuka's eyes that he held with his.  
  
"I just wanted to see you… one more time… I love…you…" he whispered before passing out.  
  
***  
  
When he woke again he was not at all surprised to find himself in the infirmary. He was surprised to see Rei sitting next to his bed, reading a book.  
  
"Ayanami. Where's Asuka?" he asked.  
  
Rei closed her book and stood, "She is in the hall. The doctors did not feel that her tears would speed your recovery, and her sobbing was disturbing the patient in the next room."  
  
Shinji frowned at the thought of Asuka wracked with sobs, and he shook his head to clear the image.  
  
Rei considered him for a moment and asked, "You are distraught?"  
  
Shinji looked up at her, surprised, then he nodded slowly, "Yes, I don't like the idea of someone I love… what? What's wrong?"  
  
Rei was frowning slightly. She set her book on the chair she had been sitting in and leaned over Shinji.  
  
"What are you-" Shinji stopped short as Rei's arms wrapped gently around him, pulling him into a clumsy hug.  
  
After a moment she pulled away again, "Does this make you feel better?"  
  
"Y-Yes… it does… thank you, Ayan-" he stopped again, gathering himself, "Thank you, Rei. But why did you do that?"  
  
She looked at him, her head tilted to one side, "It is a form of comfort to embrace a loved one if they are troubled… were you not aware of this?"  
  
Shinji's mouth hung open as the words 'loved one' flashed through his mind.  
  
Rei picked up her book (Relationships in the Second Impact world, by Hans Ooterbratten), and walked towards the door, "I will notify Pilot Souryu that you are awake, is that satisfactory?"  
  
Shinji could barely get out, "Y-yeah…" as he was still dealing with the shock of hearing those words from Rei, and the fact that she had hugged him. Rei shocked him again as she opened the door, saying something only his mother had ever said to him.  
  
"Well," she said as the door slid open, "That's good for you."  
  
Shinji did not have time to consider the implications as he was suddenly pinned to the bed by ninety-five pounds of crying girl.  
  
"SHINJI!!! Oh thank God!!" Asuka was showering him with kisses and whispering his name.  
  
Shinji didn't know how to respond, -No one has ever… cried for me before…- he thought, somewhat surprised. He wrapped his arms around her and held her, saying nothing.  
  
Once she had calmed down, she told him about the narrowly averted plan to bomb the shadow, and Rei's sudden change in behavior, "I know," he said, scratching his head, "She just… hugged me and said, 'That is what you do to comfort a loved one', or something like that. Since when am I a loved one?" He laughed at the dark expression on her face, "Of course, you're the only one I love THAT way."  
  
She smiled, reassured, and kissed him gently. Then she laid her head on his chest and whispered, "Shinji?"  
  
He stroked her long red hair slowly, "Yes, Asuka?"  
  
"As soon as you're released… do you want to…" he could feel her blush through his hospital gown, "do you want to… umm… do you… last night…" she growled in frustration, unused to being tongue-tied, "Do you want to-"  
  
"Yes, I do." He cut her off, smiling, "More than anything."  
  
She sighed, snuggling closer, "Ok… then for now can you turn the light off? I'm all tired out from waiting for you to wake up, you inconsiderate man…"  
  
He reached for the switch on the wall behind him to comply, but hesitated with his arm in front of his face. He frowned, smelling the back of his hand.  
  
-It still smells like blood…-   
  
To be continued…  
  
  
  
Omake  
(Gosh, I hope that's the right word)  
  
From the scene where Rei tells Asuka she loves Shinji:  
  
  
Asuka's brow drew down dangerously, "Shinji is mine, do you hear me? MINE!" Her hands flexed, itching to wrap around the throat of the girl who was calmly telling her that she loved Shinji.  
  
Rei remained cool, apparently unaware of how close to death (or at least a beating) she was. She went on, cocking her head to the side, "Pilot Ikari is not yours… plus I've got a better shot than you do."  
  
Asuka looked stunned, "Wh-What makes you think that?"  
  
Rei put her left hand on her hip and leaned to the side, smiling slightly, "Because, I'm not a ruthless bitch like you, and I can –censored- like a wildcat. You two have only done it, what, once? Once he gets a taste of this blue love*," she pointed to her, umm… pelvis, "you haven't got a chance, honey." She brushed by a shocked Asuka, "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go help MY new boyfriend."  
  
*Excellent fanfic, by the way…  
  
  
  
  
Author's Notes: This story takes place mostly as an alternative to episode 16, but things happen a little sooner (in the show, the angel attacks a few days later, not the next day). I also cut out the whole scene with Shinji's sync rate, since that was used as a plot device to further alienate Asuka, and would have had no effect here (because damn, she's not THAT shallow!) I also thought it would be interesting if Asuka took all of her devotion to piloting unit 02 and focused it on her relationship with Shinji. I kinda pictured this line, even though I didn't use it: Rei "I wonder. Do you only pilot the EVA for the praise of others?" Asuka: "No… I pilot it for his…". Obviously that would not have fit into this story, but that's the attitude I wanted her to develop. Also, any similarity to any other FanFics –HERZ and EVA-R, to mention just two – are wholly unintentional, and unwanted. I tried my best to make the characters different from theirs, but I had just read them both when I started writing, so I can't say they had no influence (they certainly influenced me to start writing again after two years away from the "pen", but I hope that is the only influence, as I strove to be as original as I could). And yes, I know Rei talked a lot, but she was confused… and she does not like mysteries :). I also think that if Misato had not interrupted them in Ep 16, she would have continued to question Asuka until she got whatever answer she was looking for.  
  
One last note: In Episode 16, in the entry plug, Shinji dies. I am at least %88 sure of this, as he whispers, "I'm so tired… of everything…" then his breathing stops and he goes completely still. It is my opinion that Yui brings Shinji back to life; so stop looking at me like I'm crazy!!  
  
As always, feedback is welcome (and encouraged), send it to Random1377@yahoo.com.  
  



	3. ...thicker than water.

Disclaimer: Evangelion is owned, licensed, copyrighted, pimped – whatever term of ownership you choose – by Gainax, NOT me. I just like messing up their continuity. I hope if they read this they will feel honored, rather than feel like suing me. This is part of the Deviance story line I'm writing, and is therefor rather filled with WAFF and spoilers – proceed cautiously. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this (mostly character development) installment.  
  
  
Part 3  
(Episode 17)  
…thicker than water  
By Random1377  
  
  
Misato stood alone, the harsh light coming up from below made her feel hot. She had been here three hours already.  
  
"Major Katsuragi," one of the disembodied voices spoke to her, "you STILL refuse to let us question the one person who had a direct part in this incident, the pilot of Evangelion unit 01?"  
  
She suppressed a frustrated sigh, answering the question for at least the fourth time, "Yes sir. I feel that the pressure of being brought into this situation would have an adverse effect on his psyche."  
  
Another voice spoke, sounding irritated, "Well then, as his proxy perhaps you can answer something. Was the angel trying to make contact?"  
  
The first voice spoke again, "Yes, are the angels trying to analyze the contents of the human mind?"  
  
"I am unable to answer that question at this time." Misato spoke carefully, "The pilot has no recollection of what occurred when the EVA broke free."  
  
The first voice spoke again, "But his memories could have been altered…"  
  
"The Magi show no indication that his memories were tampered with, sir." Misato countered.  
  
"Could this be an indication of what is to come with the predicted thirteenth angel and all angels thereafter?" The first voice continued.  
  
"According to our data, the angels have shown no sign of even being aware of one another." Misato answered.  
  
The second voice spoke, almost to itself, "Yes… they have acted independently up until now."  
  
Misato's curiosity was piqued, "What do you mean, sir?"  
  
The first voice cut in sharply, "You may not ask questions!"  
  
Misato bowed her head, "Understood."  
  
All of the voices spoke at once, "Dismissed." And the light went out.  
  
***  
  
Touji Suzuhara knocked gently on the door to his sister's hospital room.  
  
"Kimiee, are you awake?" he asked softly.  
  
He pushed the door open gently, revealing a complex array of life support machines.  
  
-Looks like she's not having a good day…- Touji thought grimly.  
  
His sister, Kimiko Suzuhara, lay on a bed in the middle of all of the machinery, her head wrapped in bandages.  
  
"T-Touji? Is… that you?" her tired voice made him grimace, but he changed it into a smile and strode confidently into the room.  
  
"Hey, pipsqueak, how's it going?" He asked, forcing casualness as he sat down on the edge of her bed.  
  
She smiled, "Lame… you… never… call me… pipsqueak. Don't… give me… that… phony…" She took a deep breath, "Phony happy-happy crap…. I only… want to see… you smile… if it's… real."  
  
His smile fell away, "I'm sorry…" he looked at the bandages, then the floor, "I… I heard you had another operation."  
  
"Yeah…" she frowned, "they said… there was… some bleeding… in my head…"  
  
"Again!? I thought they said that was taken care of the last time!" Touji clearly remembered the doctor's assurance that everything should be smooth sailing.  
  
She changed the subject with no preamble, "So… how is… school?"  
  
He shrugged, letting her lead the conversation, "It's ok… nothing really ever happens."  
  
She eyed him with a trace of confusion, "You haven't… been giving that... pilot boy… problems… have you?"  
  
Touji frowned, "No, Kimiee… I've become his friend. I told you last time, remember? His name is Shinji Ikari."  
  
Her forehead wrinkled as she concentrated, "Oh yeah… I remember now… sorry…" she closed her eyes, "Tell me about him again, will you?"  
  
Touji's heart felt tight in his chest. -She looks so small in that bed… and her memory is getting worse, too…- he thought sadly as he spoke, "At first it was hard for me to forgive him, even after talking to you…" He smiled at the memory of her chewing him out, "but the more I got to know him, the more I realized that he was just a scared little kid…" he bowed his head, "like me…"  
  
He watched his sister's steady breathing, -I… I don't know what I would have done if I had met him on the street instead of school,- he thought guiltily, -I might have killed him…-  
  
Kimiko opened her eyes and looked at him, "Don't… believe you…" she spoke with some effort, "you're not… scared of anything…" She took a deep breath and pushed herself to a sitting position, grimacing in pain. She waved away his protests, and spoke more firmly, "Listen to me… big brother… I'm glad that you visit me so much, and I'm glad that… you… became friends… with him." She took a deep breath, closing her eyes again, "That's good… because what I need… more than anything right now… is for you to be… strong… and happy."  
  
He looked at her, tears threatening, "But-"  
  
She forestalled any comment from him by raising her hand, "Do you… remember mom?"  
  
"I… I don't even remember her face," He whispered, a single tear running down his cheek.  
  
She nodded sadly, "Neither do I… but I remember her here," she placed her hand over her chest, "and I know that she… wouldn't want to see you… moping around…" her breath grew short again, but she went on, "and worrying… about the… past. I also know… that she would… want you to be… happy."  
  
Touji raised his head, the tears flowing freely now, "How… how can I? You're in here… and I can't help you, and-"  
  
She put her hand on top of his, whispering, "Shhh…" She smiled, "I'll be ok, given time…" Touji knew that this was not true, but said nothing as she went on, "What would… give me strength… is knowing that you are happy. Can you… be happy? Can you do that… for me… and for mom?"  
  
He smiled, wiping his face, "I'll… I'll try… but it's not fair to use mom that way…" he leaned down and hugged her carefully, her small gasp of pain tearing through his soul.  
  
When he pulled away she smiled and leaned back, exhausted, "You know… I never… play…fair…" her eyes drifted closed.  
  
Touji sat with her for several more hours, thinking about what she had said and watching her sleep.  
  
***  
  
Asuka and Shinji were running late, literally.  
  
"This… is… all… your fault!!" Asuka panted as they ran, "If you hadn't… started kissing me… when I was trying… to get ready… we'd be on time…"  
  
Shinji stopped, putting his hands on his knees, and said, "W-Wait just… a… minute…" He took a deep breath, as Asuka stopped a few feet ahead of him, tapping her foot impatiently, "I didn't hear you complaining, and why the big rush? We can't be marked TARDIER, you know…"  
  
Asuka frowned as she considered him, then took a deep breath, blowing a loose strand of hair from her eyes as she exhaled. "I guess you're right about the tardy thing," she conceded, "but what about the other students?"  
  
Shinji looked at her, confused, "What about them," he asked with a smile, "are we making them tardy too?"  
  
Asuka threw her hands up, exasperated, "No, my sweet and loving (but somewhat dense) darling," she walked up to him, putting her face a few inches from his before yelling, "THEY MIGHT START TO SUSPECT SOMETHING!" Shinji swallowed hard as she went on in a quieter voice, "Come on! Our class is not filled with morons. We've been late every day this week. People are already starting to talk about it!"  
  
Shinji flushed, "W-Well… so what if they do? Misato said it was ok to tell people we are dating, and-"  
  
Asuka cut him off flatly, "Misato is an idiot. If we told everyone we were dating, and we showed up late all the time, what would they think? Hmm? Take your time."  
  
He looked at her, skeptical, "Just because we are late doesn't mean people will assume that we're-"  
  
She cut him off again, "Of course they will!" The look on her face became wondering, "You really don't know about stuff like this do you?"  
  
He lowered his head, averting his eyes, "Well… I haven't had that much experience with others…"  
  
She smiled, looking slightly embarrassed, "I'm sorry… I forgot…" she raised his head gently and kissed him, "Listen, until other people find out, we should try to act the same as we did before… at least in school."  
  
Shinji frowned, "I… I don't think I could handle it if you were mean to me again…"  
  
She patted his cheek; "I won't be too bad… but don't expect me to hang all over you, either."  
  
His smile returned, "You mean… like you do at home?"  
  
She threw her hands up again, but she was smiling this time, "You're hopeless!" She kissed him again, "Now, let's get going before we get marked absent."  
  
Laughing, they continued their run once more.  
  
***  
  
Gendou Ikari stood alone, his hands folded behind his back. He was not laughing. "Soon," he spoke quietly, "soon it will be the appointed time."  
  
He was standing in a room that not even Fuyutsuki knew about, it contained a tank filled with LCL and a lone control panel.  
  
Floating inside the tank was a girl.  
  
"Many… sacrifices were made to reach this point," he mused quietly, "yours among the greatest."  
  
The girl made no response.  
  
Gendou removed his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose, a rare sign of the weariness he felt, "I know that I cannot ask for your forgiveness, nor do I believe you would willing to give it to me… if you were able." He looked at the girl, floating peacefully behind a wall of glass and sighed.  
  
He put his glasses back on, all signs of weakness now gone, "When this is all over, perhaps I will see you again. If I do not, know that I will not forget what you have given."  
  
He regarded the girl one final time before turning on his heel and striding from the room. As the lights in the room went dark, one word could be seen clearly stenciled on the tank: Prime.  
  
***  
  
After the teacher had chastised them for being late, Shinji took a look around the classroom. Noticing that Kensuke was absent, he asked Touji if anything was wrong.  
  
"Nah," Touji responded, "some stupid ship is down at the docks and he just had to-"  
  
"MISTER Suzuhara!" The teacher's sharp tone cut Touji off effectively, as he leapt to his feet, "Since you have time for idle chitchat, I suppose you have time to deliver these papers to Miss Ayanami after school, correct?" The teacher was looking at him closely, making sure he had the boy's attention.  
  
"Yes sir!" Touji bowed.  
  
After getting the papers, Touji sat down, breathing a deep sigh of relief, "Wow… I thought I was going to be in trouble for sure…"  
  
Shinji grinned, "Well, perhaps you should pay more attention."  
  
Touji shot him an angry look, "Well, considering that I was answering YOUR question, YOU should be the one getting in trouble."  
  
Shinji just shrugged and turned back to face his desk, "I'm not the one who got caught."  
  
Touji just continued to glare at his friend's back for the remainder of the class.  
  
***  
  
Rei floated gently in the tank, her thoughts wandering, -What is happening to me?-  
  
Outside the tank, she could see the commander and doctor Akagi discussing something, but their words did not reach her. She closed her eyes.  
  
-Am I… am I beginning to dislike commander Ikari?- the thought shocked her. She remembered her second meeting with Shinji, 'How could I ever trust him again!?' He had spoken those words with so much force, -Could there BE a reason not to trust the commander?- she thought with some confusion.  
  
"Rei, we're finished now." She opened her eyes to find Commander Ikari smiling at her.  
  
"Right." She said, smiling back, -Yet when he smiles… all seems right… I must think more on this when I am alone.-  
  
"Let's eat." Gendou continued.  
  
As the LCL drained from the tank, Rei saw doctor Akagi staring at commander Ikari – and the look of jealousy on the older woman's face made her shiver.  
  
***  
  
"What do you mean, you forgot our lunches?"  
  
-If she's just pretending to be mad, she's doing an awfully good job,- Shinji thought as Asuka loomed over his desk, her hands on her hips. "I didn't have time to cook last night. I… I had a lot of homework…" He tried his best to seem deferent to her – which wasn't that difficult for him.  
  
"So now I have to go hungry because of that?" Asuka, on the other hand, found that she was having a very hard time even ACTING mean to him anymore, -The look in his eyes...- she thought with some concern, -I hope he knows this is just for show…"  
  
Touji Suzuhara spoke up from somewhere near the back of the class (speaking from around a pile of food), "Uh-oh, looks like the newlyweds are fighting again!" The classroom erupted with laughter.  
  
Asuka and Shinji both blushed bright red, identical thoughts flashing through their minds, -Does he KNOW!?-  
  
Realizing that he was teasing, they both turned to face him and spoke in unison, "Oh shut up!!"   
  
As she leaned over to yell, Asuka had discretely put her hand on Shinji's and squeezed firmly. When she pulled back she met his eyes, the corners of her mouth twitching up ever so slightly. He read the unspoken apology perfectly, and inclined his head a fraction of an inch.  
  
She smiled wide, then frowned and stomped over to Touji's desk, raising her hand.  
  
Touji, who knew a lot about women (or, when they were going to hit him, anyway), jumped up from his desk, screaming, "Class rep! Class rep! Asuka's going to hit me! It's your duty as representative to protect me!"  
  
As he watched Asuka chase Touji around the room, cursing at him in German, Shinji smiled. -It's going to be a good week-   
  
***  
  
In geo-synchronous orbit, high above the Earth, a lone satellite named Echo-8 was the only witness to the sudden flare of energy in the Nevada region of the United States. It recorded precisely six seconds of the event before it went silent itself, left to drift forever in the coldness of space.  
  
In NERV headquarters, almost every alarm went off at the same time.  
  
Three minutes later, Hyouga Makoto was on one of the red phones, "…but the first branch is ok? What? No, never mind!"  
  
He hung up the phone, turning to the command dais, "It's confirmed: America's Second branch has completely disappeared."  
  
Within twenty minutes, all of the key people associated with the E project were assembled in one of the briefing rooms deep within Central Dogma.  
  
"Oh my God…" Ritsuko whispered quietly, reviewing the data.  
  
Aoba Shigeru looked at the readout in his hands, "The time frame indicates that they would have been in the process of testing and installing the experimental S^2 engine from Germany."  
  
Maya Ibuki spoke up, "The Magi indicate possible causes ranging from insufficient structural capacity to a miscalculation in the fabrication process. In total, thirty-two thousand, seven hundred and sixty-eight possibilities."  
  
"And that's not including sabotage." Misato muttered angrily.  
  
"Unit 04, its support group, and everything within an eighty-nine kilometer radius was destroyed… along with thousands of people." Ritsuko summed up, bowing her head.  
  
"But they didn't blow up… they just – vanished, correct?" Hyouga wondered aloud.  
  
Ritsuko turned to him, "Most likely, they were swallowed by a Dirac sea, like unit 01."  
  
Maya spoke once more, "The Magi calculate a two percent chance of it returning on it's own."  
  
Ritsuko's eyebrows rose, "Two whole percent? How generous."  
  
Maya smiled, a little sickly, "Since unit 01 returned, the Magi felt there was precedence."   
  
Ritsuko was nodding, "That makes sense… now on the subject of the children."  
  
Misato spoke quickly, "I don't think it would be wise to tell them about this… it could adversely affect them, especially Shinji."  
  
Ritsuko arched an eyebrow, "You're awfully concerned about Shinji's well-being, Major. Besides, I thought you said he was improving?"  
  
Misato flushed, "Well, I AM his guardian… and he IS making progress," –A lot of progress, thanks to Asuka,- she thought with an internal smile, "but he's still a sensitive child. If he learned that one of the Evangelions was destroyed, along with thousands of people…" she trailed off, unsure of how to finish.  
  
Maya came to her rescue, "It would worry him, wouldn't it? He would start to think that the same thing could happen here. Am I right?"  
  
Ritsuko nodded, "Very well. Keep it from them if you will, but Rei will be informed."  
  
Misato was confused, "Why does Rei-"  
  
Ritsuko cut her off, a touch of anger in her voice, "You deal with your charges, Major, allow me to deal with mine."  
  
There was an awkward silence, broken by Hyouga's polite cough, "Well," he said, "I should get back to my post and see if any new information has come in."  
  
The others saluted and made their way from the room.  
  
***  
  
As they made their way through Central Dogma, Misato and Ritsuko were quiet. Both wrapped in their own thoughts.  
  
Misato spoke first, "So… what was that all about?"  
  
Ritsuko turned to face her on the moving walkway, "I'm… I'm sorry. Things have been a little tense lately, and I lost my temper. Commander Ikari has given express orders that Rei be kept up to date on all events regarding the EVA units themselves."  
  
Misato looked at her, puzzled, "Why?"  
  
Ritsuko turned away and shrugged, "I have no idea."  
  
Seeing that she was not going to get any more information, Misato changed the subject, "So what will happen to unit 03?"  
  
Ritsuko sighed softly, "It is going to be sent here for activation."  
  
"What?" Misato was stunned, "They made such a big deal about having the right to build the damn thing, and now they're pawning it off on us??"  
  
Ritsuko shrugged again, "I suppose they didn't want to risk losing the first branch as well."  
  
They lapsed into silence again until they reached Ritsuko's office, where Misato spoke again, taking a sip of coffee, "So will you be using one of the children for the activation, or the dummy plug?"  
  
Ritsuko started tapping on her keyboard, "We will be using the fourth."  
  
Misato spat her coffee all over the floor, much to Ritsuko's dismay, "WHAT!? The fourth child has been found?"  
  
Ritsuko looked at the spilled coffee, frowning, "Yesterday."  
  
Misato said, "I haven't received a report from the Marduk institute. Who is it, anyway?"  
  
Ritsuko tapped on her computer, "You'll get your report… and it is this young man right here." She hit the enter key.  
  
Misato's jaw dropped, "You're kidding?! HIM!?"  
  
***  
  
As the final bell rang, Touji jumped out of his seat, "Alright! Time to get out of here!"  
  
"Not so fast, Suzuhara!" Hikari Horaki was standing in front of his desk, a stack of papers in her hand, "Don't you remember? You have to take these bulletins to Rei."  
  
Touji looked crestfallen, "Oh come on class rep! Isn't there someone else who can do it?"  
  
Hikari shook her head, smiling faintly, "No, it was assigned to you."  
  
Touji scratched his head, "Well, if I have to, I have to… but I can't go to a girls place by myself…" he began looking around the room.  
  
Hikari's face brightened, "Well, I could go with-"  
  
"Hey Shinji!" Touji yelled, totally missing Hikari's words, "Walk home with me, ok? You know where Ayanami lives."  
  
Shinji looked out the door at Asuka, who was holding his hand, "Go ahead," she whispered, squeezing his hand before letting it go, "but hurry home to me, ok?" She leaned in and quickly kissed his cheek, then hurried off down the hallway before Touji could see her.  
  
He turned back to Touji, "Yeah, I can do that."  
  
Together they started walking away, neither one of them noticing the look of disappointment on their class representative's face.  
  
***  
  
Shinji and Touji were standing outside of Rei's place, wondering what to do next.  
  
After trying Rei's doorbell repeatedly with not luck, Shinji yelled, "Rei? It's Shinji, I'm coming in, ok?"  
  
"You can't just go into a girls apartment without her permission!" Touji was shocked.  
  
Shinji pointed to the stack of unread (and unopened) mail in the slot, "Well, we can't just leave it here, she'll never get it!"  
  
As they entered the small apartment, Touji was struck by how disorganized the place was, "Wow! EVA pilots sure are a messy bunch."  
  
Shinji frowned and looked around the room until he found some cleaning supplies. "I'm going to straighten this place up." He announced.  
  
"You've changed." Touji commented as Shinji picked up a garbage bag.  
  
"How so?" Shinji looked at him.  
  
"Well, when you first came to school, I couldn't imagine you doing something for someone else."  
  
Shinji considered this for a minute, "Maybe you're right… so I'm going to clean for her to make up for lost time."  
  
"You better not," Touji warned, "she might get mad."  
  
Shinji knelt down and started cleaning; "It's just trash. Why don't you help? I could finish quicker that way."  
  
Touji frowned, trying to think up an excuse, "Because… it's just not manly!" he proclaimed.  
  
"So you're just going to stand there and watch?" Shinji asked, as he continued to pick up garbage.  
  
Touji growled, folding his arms, "It's… it's against my principles!"  
  
Shinji, who was not a stupid boy and knew a golden opportunity like this only arose once in a blue moon, smiled and said, "I'll bet if it was Hikari's room, you'd help out…"  
  
Touji's mouth hung open and he turned red. Regaining his senses, he quipped, "I was right… you HAVE changed."  
  
Before Shinji could respond, he heard the sound of the front door opening. Turning around, he saw Rei entering the apartment. She looked at the bag of garbage he had collected, blinking.  
  
"I… hope it's ok that I cleaned up," Shinji said, looking a little embarrassed, "it was just trash, right?"  
  
Rei inclined her head slightly, saying, "T-Thank you." The words sounded odd to her ears.  
  
Shinji just smiled and waved it away, "No problem." He motioned to the stack of papers, "we also dropped these off for you."  
  
Rei had nothing to say about that, so they lapsed into and uncomfortable silence. "I must bathe now." She said quietly, breaking it, and started towards the apartment's little bathroom.  
  
"Rei?" Shinji began hesitantly.  
  
"Yes, Pilot Ikari?" She turned and waited expectantly.  
  
"I… I was wondering… umm… why… when I was in the hospital..." he trailed off, finding it harder than he had thought to ask her the question. Rei waited patiently for him to finish. "Umm… never mind… it's not that important…"  
  
Rei kept staring for a minute, then said, "Very well." and continued towards the bathroom.  
  
***  
  
After Touji and Shinji had departed, and she had bathed, Rei sat on her bed thinking.  
  
-Why… why do I feel this way towards him- She spoke quietly, "Thank you. Words of gratitude… words I've never used before." Her eyes flashed to the glasses on her dresser, "Not even with him…"  
  
She rolled over, facing the ceiling.  
  
"Why…" she continued aloud, "why do I have this feeling here?" she lay her hand on her chest, "What is it about him that makes me want to defend him?"  
  
She thought of unit 04, and the people that were lost with it, -I do not feel anything for them… but I do not know what I would do if it had been unit 01… and him, that disappeared.-  
  
She rolled over again, frowning as she remembered her conversation with Asuka, -That must be what this is, too…- she thought, -this feeling must also be love… but not the kind that Pilot Souryu has for him…- her frown deepened, -The thought of uniting with him is… disturbing.-  
  
She whispered quietly, "Regardless, I love Pilot Ikari." She liked the way the words felt.  
  
***  
  
"Lunch time!!" Touji was quite pleased. Eating was his favorite pastime.  
  
His happiness was short-lived, however, as a feminine voice came over the school's PA system, "Touji Suzuhara, please report to the principal's office. Touji Suzuhara…"  
  
Kensuke looked at his friend, shaking his head, "What did you do THIS time?"  
  
Touji looked confused, "I don't know! Maybe it's because I wasn't paying attention in class yesterday."  
  
Shinji and Kensuke watched him walk out the door, "Man," Kensuke commented, "I'm surprised he doesn't just STAY in the principal's office, as much as he goes there!"   
  
Touji made his way to the office slowly, -What could it be now? I thought that taking the notes to Ayanami was my punishment.-  
  
He knocked on the door, "Excuse me," he said diffidently, "I'm Touji Suzuhara."  
  
The door opened, revealing the principal's secretary and a blond woman with a mole on her cheek. "You're Touji Suzuhara?" The blond woman asked.  
  
He nodded, stepping into the room at the secretary's beckoning. He sat down, "Am I in some kind of trouble?" he asked nervously.  
  
The woman ignored his question, looking him over carefully. After a moment she spoke in a firm, business-like manner, "Touji Suzuhara, you have been selected in accordance with the Marduk institute's findings to be the designated fourth child. Will you accept the position?"  
  
She paused, and Touji took the opportunity to express his confusion: "Huh?"  
  
The woman smiled, showing all of her teeth. Touji decided he did not like the look in her eye, but he listened as she continued, "I expected you to be familiar with the term, considering the company you keep." Touji looked more confused. She sighed.  
  
"Very well," she said, "I'll get right to the point. My name is Doctor Ritsuko Akagi, I head up the E project. Your friend Shinji Ikari is the designated third child, we would like you to be the fourth. We want you to pilot an Evangelion."  
  
Of all the responses she had anticipated, the one Touji gave surprised her the most. He looked her in the eyes and said, "No."  
  
Ritsuko's eyes widened, "I don't think you understand what we're offering. You would be protecting the ones you love, and piloting a giant bio-organic robot – you were inside unit 01, you know what it looks like."  
  
Touji's voice was hard, "Yeah, I saw what it was like. I saw someone in agony, and reduced to tears from the strain. If you want to impress someone with high-tech gadgets, make Kensuke a pilot!"  
  
Ritsuko frowned, "Mister Aida is not a viable candidate."  
  
"Tell me why, or I won't even consider helping you." Touji said, not really expecting an answer.  
  
Ritsuko surprised him by smiling fiercely as she spoke, "Very well, mister Suzuhara, I'll tell you. Your friend Kensuke Aida has vision problems."  
  
Touji's mouth fell open, "That's it? Because of his eyesight?"  
  
Ritsuko shook her head, "No, I said he had vision problems. Mister Aida is unable to asses a situation past the here and now. For a normal fourteen your old, this is not a problem. For an Evangelion pilot, it could prove fatal. His psychological profile absolutely rules him out."  
  
Touji could not hide his surprise, "But I fit the mold??"  
  
"To a T." Ritsuko answered quickly, "You are aggressive, loyal, determined to get what you want, and in spite of your grades, remarkably intelligent." She smiled conspiratorially, "I know a lot about you, Touji. You're an incredibly smart boy, yet you only make So-so grades."  
  
Touji looked uncomfortable, "Well… I'm not THAT smart… and I don't study that mu-"  
  
She shook her head, cutting him off, "No… no I don't think that's it at all. Want to know what I think?" He made no reply, so she went on, "I think you got labeled as a jock early on, and since that was an easier way to go, you just let everyone go right on thinking that, am I right?"   
  
He just stared at her blankly. She sighed and finished, "Well, in short: Yes, we believe you are suited to be a pilot."  
  
Touji shook his head, "Didn't I just say no?" He rose to leave, "I'm sorry that you wasted your time."  
  
As he reached the door, Ritsuko spoke quietly, "It's a shame about your sister."  
  
Touji froze, his hand on the doorknob, "What about my sister?" he whispered.  
  
Ritsuko ignored the threatening edge in his voice, "I've read her report… looks bad." She was holding a file marked Suzuhara, K. "So many injuries… and the hospital she's in… hmmm… not the best around." -Come on,- she thought, -take the bait.-  
  
Touji was silent for a moment, "If… if I become a pilot…"  
  
"Yes?" Ritsuko asked, innocently as her thoughts screamed triumphantly, -Yes!-  
  
His voice became quiet, "If I become a pilot, she would be moved to a better hospital?"  
  
Ritsuko smiled at the boy's back, but her voice was level, "The best in the world."  
  
He didn't turn around as he spoke, "Alright, I'll do it… but she gets transferred today!"  
  
"Done." in her mind, Ritsuko breathed a sigh of relief.  
  
Touji left without saying another word.  
  
***  
  
"Well, I'm out of here."  
  
Asuka opened the door as Misato said, "Whoa, where are you off to in such a hurry?" She smiled, showing all of her teeth, "I thought you were spending every waking second with Shinji?"  
  
Asuka frowned at her, thinking, -well, I WANT to, but duty calls.- "I have something I have to take care of… I won't be long."  
  
Misato just smiled and winked, "Well, you better hurry, before I take Shinji for myself."  
  
Asuka mocked throwing up, but she smiled and spoke in a friendly tone, "I think we both know that I would kill you, Misato. Bye."  
  
Misato laughed to herself, as the door swung shut, -Yeah… I believe you might, at that.- As soon as she heard the elevator descending, Misato called Shinji into the kitchen. She motioned to the chair opposite her, a serious look on her face.  
  
"What is it, Misato?" He asked, curious.  
  
Misato looked him over carefully before responding, "Shinji, as Asuka's guardian, and yours, I need to know what you are planning to do about the current situation." She took a drink of coffee from the mug in front of her.  
  
He looked confused, "I don't understand. You said no unprotected sex, and no sex in the house, but other than that-"  
  
She cut him off, "I mean what do you plan to do if she's pregnant right now?"  
  
"Oh." He said, his mouth snapped closed. He looked at the floor, uncomfortable.  
  
She smiled and put her hand on his, "I'm not mad, Shinji… I just need to know what you guys have planned. I think I have the right to know, don't you?"  
  
Shinji nodded reluctantly, raising his head. He fidgeted as he answered, not quite able to meet his guardian's eyes, "Umm… if she is… we plan to… umm… keep the child and get married."  
  
Misato's smile widened, "Good. I expected that you would make that choice, but hearing you say it puts me more at ease." She stood up and walked around the table to where he was sitting, looking serious again.  
  
"W-What? What is it now?" Shinji stammered as Misato walked around the chair behind him.  
  
She answered by leaned down and putting her arms around him from behind.  
  
He stiffened, still not really used to being touched, but she held him tight. "I'm very proud of you, Shinji," she whispered, her head resting against his back, "I know that it must be hard for you to watch her get into unit 02, and I'm proud of how strong you are."  
  
He didn't answer, but she felt his tears drop onto her arm. "Shhh…" she whispered, "it's ok…"  
  
She held him close as he wept, comforting him with softly spoken words.  
  
***  
  
Hikari was still at school. She had pretended that it was because she wanted to catch up on some work without being bothered by her sisters, but she really wanted to talk to Touji. Since he had been called to the principal's office, he had been despondent – a total change from his usual upbeat (if rough around the edges) personality.  
  
She found him in their classroom, quietly eating vending machine food. "Suzuhara," she said, trying to think of something to say, "Umm… you're supposed to be on clean up duty. Those… those desks should be straightened." -I can't believe I just said that!- she thought angrily, -He's obviously having a bad day, and I'm still giving him work to do…- She looked at him again, -and I've wanted to ask him out for so long.-  
  
Touji looked up at her soberly, "Yeah…" -he sounds so… wiped out- she thought as he continued, "can it wait until after I've eaten? I missed lunch…"  
  
She nodded quickly, seeing an opening, "Umm…. do you always buy your food from the cafeteria?"   
  
He looked down at the bag of chips he was currently eating and sighed sadly, "Yeah… my father works pretty much all the time… there really isn't anyone at home to cook, so…" he trailed off.  
  
Hikari suppressed a smile, "Well, I have to cook for myself and my two sisters…"  
  
Touji nodded, "Yeah… that must be hard…"  
  
Hikari waved his concern away, "Oh, it's not big a deal – and I'm actually a pretty good cook – but I always cook too much, and some of it goes to waste…" she let the thought hang there, hoping he would pick up on it.  
  
She wasn't disappointed, "Well… it seems like a shame to waste good food. If you want, I can take some of it off your hands…" He smiled.  
  
-He smiled at me!- Hikari's pulse started to increase. She got herself under control, only allowing a slight smile, "That would be helpful… thank you. I'll bring you something tomorrow."  
  
"That would be great," he said, looking back to the junk food in front of him, "goodbye to you." He whispered, grinning.  
  
She lingered for another minute, watching him, -So many things I want to tell him,- she thought wistfully, -well, this will have to do for now.- "Don't stay here too late, Suzuhara." She said as she turned for the exit.  
  
"Hey, class rep," he spoke up as she reached the door. She turned to face him, one eyebrow raised. "Thanks." He smiled again.  
  
Hikari turned her head so he would not see the blush spreading across her cheeks, "S-Sure…"   
  
She walked home slowly, smiling the whole time.  
  
***  
  
Asuka knocked on Kaji's office door.  
  
As she waited, she thought, –I can't believe I let Shinji talk me into this… Misato and Kaji can work out their own relationship problems, they don't need our help!-  
  
"Come in." Kaji's voice sounded lightly muffled threw the door.  
  
Asuka took a deep breath, and walked in. "Hi Kaji!" she threw as much enthusiasm into her voice as she could, thinking, -Was I really like this before? Ick…-  
  
"Oh… Asuka, it's you…" Kaji did not turn from the computer he was typing on, "I'm kind of busy right now, can it wait?"  
  
"I'll bet you would have time if it was Misato…" she whispered under her breath. Louder, and with a slight pout, she said, "I wanted to know why you didn't take me shopping like you said you would." Not that he HAD said he would, but Asuka knew he probably would not remember if he had or not, -Men are so gullible.- she thought.  
  
Still facing the computer, Kaji sighed, "Shouldn't… Katsuragi be doing that now?" She noticed his slightly wistful tone as he spoke the older woman's name.  
  
She thought, -Why I ever thought I could compete with HER for your heart, I will never know…- To Kaji she said, "It's funny you should mention her name, because…" She trailed off, as she stepped further into the room and caught sight of the readings on his computer.  
  
"Those are our Sync test results," she said, leaning forward as Kaji fumbled for the monitor's power button. "FOUR?!?!"  
  
Kaji sighed, knowing it was too late to stop her from finding out.  
  
Her voice rose in pitch as she spoke, "Who made HIM a Pilot!? I won't stand for it!"  
  
Kaji spoke quietly, "I don't know who chooses the pilots, but I do know that you cannot tell Shinji about this, got it?"  
  
Asuka frowned, "Why not? Shouldn't he-"  
  
Kaji cut her of gently, "Misato doesn't want him to know until after the sync tests." He smiled, "You're seeing Shinji, aren't you?" Asuka's blush was all the confirmation he needed. He chuckled, "Well, I'm glad. You make a cute couple, but being close to him, you must know how he is better than anyone else. If he knows about the pilot, he'll worry about it. Am I wrong?" She shook her head reluctantly. "Ok," he went on, "so you'll keep it to yourself?"  
  
Asuka nodded, still not meeting his eyes. "If Touji tells him on his own, then that's ok, right?" She asked, hoping.  
  
Kaji smiled indulgently, "Of course… but I doubt he will. It was hard enough convincing him to do it in the first place." Asuka nodded her understanding. "I'm glad we got that cleared up," Kaji said cheerily, "not if you will excuse me, I have a lot to catch up on." He turned back to his computer.  
  
Asuka let herself out, so wrapped up in her own concerns that she forgot to mention Misato… or ask why Kaji had top secret test results on his computer.  
  
***  
  
Hikari read from her cookbook, adding ingredients to a boiling pot as she went.  
  
-I hope he likes stew- she thought. She paused, looking out the window. "Touji… I finally found a way to talk to you…" she whispered quietly. Smiling, she added more carrots and stirred, humming under her breath.  
  
***  
  
Touji stood on the school's basketball court, contemplating the hoop. –I don't want to do this,- he thought, -but for you… for you, I can do anything…- he lined up the ball with the hoop, –for you, Kimiko…- he thought as he let it fly.  
  
***  
  
Halfway around the world – at the exact second the ball went through the hoop – the six engines of the massive carrier holding Evangelion unit 03 burst into life… and the giant machine made it's way towards its new home… dark rain beating down on it's black armor like an unholy baptism.  
  
  
  
To be continued…  
  
  
Omake  
  
From the scene where Hikari talks to Touji about lunches:  
  
Hikari suppressed a smile, "Well, I have to cook for myself and my two sisters…"  
  
Touji nodded, "Yeah… that must be hard…"  
  
Hikari waved his concern away, "Oh, it's not big a deal – and I'm actually a pretty good cook – but I always cook too much, and some of it goes to waste…" she let the thought hang there, hoping he would pick up on it.  
  
"Well," he said, wiping his mouth on his sleeve, "don't cook so much."  
  
She groaned internally, -come on, figure it out!- "Yeah, I guess you're right. If only there was someone who could take some of it off my hands…" she waited for a moment, thinking, -no one is THAT dense.-  
  
She was wrong, "Give some to Rei. I've never seen her eat anything." Touji frowned at her, "You know, you're thinking about this an awful lot… do you have some kind of food fixation or something?"  
  
She stared at him, dumbfounded. "N-No!"  
  
He ignored her, going on thoughtfully, "You know, you probably should see someone about that… I'd hate to see you get all big and fat from eating that extra food."  
  
Hikari threw her hands in the air, thinking, -I give up! Why I even tried is beyond me, he's apparently too stupid for me anyway.-  
  
Amazingly, Touji was still talking, "…and my uncle Ben almost died of bulimia – but everyone thought it was a tapeworm, so then..."  
  
She shook her head sadly, walking out the door. As she made her way down the hall, she could still hear him rambling.  
  
  
  
From the scene where Misato talks to Shinji about Asuka's possible pregnancy:  
  
Misato smiled, "Good. I expected that you would make that choice, but hearing you say it puts me more at ease." She stood up and walked around the table to where he was sitting, looking serious again.  
  
"W-What? What is it now?" Shinji stammered as Misato walked around the chair behind him.  
  
She answered by leaned down and putting her arms around him from behind.  
  
"Well," she whispered, breathing in his ear, "I was hoping you might give me a sample of what you already gave Asuka."  
  
He stiffened (his BODY stiffened! GEEZ, you can't say anything around here!!) and tried to pull away, only to feel her snap handcuffs around his wrists, cuffing him to the chair. "Umm, Misato?" He began nervously.  
  
"Don't be scared," she whispered (he could now smell alcohol on her breath, and it worried him), "I'm very… experienced…."   
  
Shinji could only watch helplessly as Misato slowly took his clothes off… and showed him just how experienced she really was….  
  
  
  
Author's notes: Ok, I admit it… I had trouble with this one. Mostly because I am not as familiar with this episode as I am with some of the previous and subsequent ones, I suppose… it just took me a long time. I tried to hit on the key plot points, and still take the time to pursue the character development as I saw fit. Hope it came out ok. And, honestly, I could NOT remember when Misato stopped drinking… but I figured that seeing "Adam" on the cross should be sufficient motivation for ANYONE, especially her. What is The Prime project, you say? Just wait a while… all will be revealed… ;) The only information I had on Touji's sister is that she is younger and was hurt in the fight with Sachieal – everything else (including her name) I fabricated. If anyone has more solid data on this girl, please send it my way. And no, I am NOT making a love triangle for Shinji Rei and Asuka. Like Rei said in the last chapter, there are more kinds of love than one. Which brings me to Misato. I've always seen Misato as a mother figure for Shinji, so I wanted to explore that a little bit more. Expect more of it. Lastly, in reviewing the episode one more time I realized that unit 04's disappearance takes place before the whole newlyweds comment… but I didn't change it because I liked this sequence better (see? It DEVIATES :) ).  
  
Feedback is welcome at Random1377@yahoo.com.  
  
And, as if that's not enough, Deviance can now be found at http://www.geocities.com/random1377/. 


	4. Angels and demons

Disclaimer: Gainax is good. Gainax is our friend. Gainax owns all rights to Evangelion and I do not. Gainax does not like to sue fan-fiction authors (ok, this one I just really, really hope). This is part four of the Deviance story line I've been writing. One thing I would like to point out (so no one screams plagiarism) is that I wrote this part and 5 and 6 concurrently - BEFORE I read Together We Stand (an EXCELLENT fan fiction by Hotwire). So if some parts of this chapter and the next seem similar, it's just because we think alike - and he writes faster :).  
  
  
Part 4  
  
(Episode 18)  
Angels and Demons  
By Random1377  
  
Winging toward Tokyo-3, the massive carrier holding Evangelion unit 03 sailed smoothly through the sky like a falcon in search of pray. "This is carrier designate: Harbinger, requesting status on cumulonimbus formation in flight path, over." The pilot expected no problems, but felt that the motto 'better safe than sorry' definitely applied when transporting multi-billion dollar equipment.  
  
"Copy, Harbinger, threat assessment is point zero two, repeat, point zero two. Proceed or avoid at your discretion, over." The radio operator sounded bored.  
  
The pilot sighed, "Roger that, will proceed as planned. Over and out."  
  
As the enormous craft entered the clouds, he felt a brief surge of energy, like someone had tapped his arm after running their feet along a carpeted floor.   
  
He checked his gauges and sensors, looking for anything out of the ordinary, "All green..." he whispered to himself, "must be nerves."  
  
With a shrug he brought his attention back to the clear blue skies on the other side of the clouds.  
  
***  
  
Misato was holding onto Kaji for dear life. "Feels like an earthquake," he said, sounding cool and collected as the ground shook all around them, "hold on." Just a few minutes prior, they had been kissing like high school kids, and then everything began to move. The street began to crack -Street?- Misato thought, -Why are we in the street??-  
  
She looked at Kaji, who smiled again and said, "It's a good thing we were together when this happened Misato... MISato... MISATO.... MISATO!!!!!"  
  
"MISATO!!! WAKE UP!!!" Asuka yelled for the third time, shaking her guardian's bed harder. -Geez!- she thought with some disgust, -It's like trying to wake the dead!-  
  
The older woman stirred, mumbling, "Kaji?"  
  
Asuka rolled her eyes, -Figures... bed's shaking, so of COURSE she's thinking of him...- "Try again Misato! Wake up, I need to talk to you."  
  
Letting go of the dream reluctantly, Misato rubbed her eyes and sat up, "Wha-What is it, Asuka? Are we under attack?"  
  
Asuka snorted, "Hardly. I want to talk to you about Shinji. I think you should tell him now about Touji."  
  
"Asuka," the older woman yawned, "I told you... I'll explain it all to him after the activation test. Things CAN go wrong, you know." -Lord, I hope nothing DOES- she thought.  
  
"Come on, Misato! Promise me you'll tell him before you leave!" Asuka's voice was pleading, "If he finds out from someone else, he'll be hurt... do you want him to be hurt?"  
  
Misato looked away from the younger girl, "I... Ok... I'll tell him. Now would you get out of here so I can get dressed?"  
  
Asuka finally took note of the fact that Misato was wearing nothing but a bra and panties and blushed, "S-sorry." As she turned for the door she said, "I'll leave now so you can tell him. If he asks, tell him I had to go study for a test or something."  
  
Misato smiled, "But you have all the same classes, he'll know you're not."  
  
Asuka stopped at the door, shooting Misato an angry look, "Fine! Make up something better then!" She slid the door closed (being careful not to slam it, for fear of waking her beloved), whispering, "...so annoying! OO!!"  
  
Misato smiled wider at the younger girls frustration, -she is SO much fun to tease!- she thought. Her smile fell into a frown, -Now... how can I tell Shinji?- Sighing, she began to dress and pack for the trip to Matsushiro.  
  
***  
  
Touji woke slowly, blinking at his alarm clock, "Is it time already?" he whispered thickly. He had not slept well. Visions of the third angel flied his mind... as did visions of Shinji crying, both hands resting on one of the butterfly controls of Evangelion unit 01.  
  
He climbed reluctantly out of bed and drew on his clothes. He picked up the pack that Misato had given him the night before and opened it, "No backing down now, Kimiee..." he whispered, regarding the contents thoughtfully, "but I promised I'd protect you, so that's what I'll do."  
  
He ran his fingers gently over the gray and blue fabric, lightly tracing the 03 featured prominently on the front, "Yes... I will... no matter the cost."  
  
He stood that way until the NERV security agents arrived to pick him up.  
  
  
***  
  
Shinji woke up alone, a sensation he DEFINITELY did not like in the least.  
  
"Asuka?" he whispered, looking around the room, -maybe she went to surprise me with breakfast,- the thought filled him with dread as he remembered the previous Saturday... and the destruction of a certain frying pan at that time in the redhead's care. He shuddered, imaging he could still smell burnt pancakes.  
  
He got to his feet and pulled on his clothes. He smiled, thinking of Misato's reluctance to let them share a room, 'How are you going to fulfill your promise to me?!' she had said, in a frustrated tone. It had taken both of them an hour to convince the older woman that they were in control of their hormones enough to refrain from having sex in the house, as she had demanded.  
  
Of course, they hadn't realized how difficult it was, and they often found themselves going for long, late-night "walks". The thought of last night's "walk" made Shinji smile wider as he exited their room (which had a sign that read, 'Shinji and Asuka's lovely suite'. The 'and Asuka's' portion had been penciled in a week or so prior). His smile faded as he saw Misato waiting for him, arms folded... frowning.  
  
Shinji stammered, "W-What?" remembering his last train of thought he continued to fumble, "W-We weren't IN the house, and-"  
  
She cut him off, blushing, "EEEWWW! I did NOT need to hear that!!" She shook her head to clear the resulting image, "I just wanted to tell you I'm leaving for Matsushiro, so you guys will be pretty much on your own. I was going to have Kaji stay with you... but I think you two can handle yourselves." She leaned forward, frowning harder, "I may have him stop by, though... just to make sure." He blushed furiously and looked at the floor.  
  
He decided it was time to change the topic, "Umm... where's Asuka? Not in the kitchen, is she?" He frowned and sniffed the air suspiciously.  
  
Misato laughed, "No, she had to go help a friend with some homework," -Gotta make sure I call to tell her where she's been,- Misato thought, happy with her story, "she said she didn't want to wake you because you looked so cute when you were asleep." She added, clasping her hands together and tilting her head to the side, eyelashes batting like crazy.  
  
Shinji's blush intensified, much to the delight of the older woman, "So," he changed the subject AGAIN, hoping this would not bring him embarrassment, "is it true that Unit 04 disappeared?"  
  
It was Misato's turn to look at the floor, -I'm gonna kill whoever told him!- she nodded reluctantly, "Yes, it's true... that's why we're having this activation at Matsushiro - it's more secluded..." she trailed off, a war raging in her head, -I can't tell him... I just can't!!- she took a deep breath and looked at Shinji's thoughtful frown, -I'm sorry, Asuka... I just can't worry him any more.- She made a mental note to call Shinji the second the activation test was over, -Maybe that way Asuka won't have to know...- she thought, pleased with the idea.  
  
After a moment's silence, Shinji said, "So do you know who is going to be the pilot of-"  
  
Misato cut him off, looking at the clock, "Look at the time. You're going to be late. I'll talk to you when I get back - heck," she said as if the thought just occurred to her, "I'll call you as soon as the test is over, ok?"  
  
Shinji sighed, "Ok..." and started for the door.  
  
As he drew close to her, Misato pulled him clumsily into a hug. Shinji tensed for a moment, then relaxed and hugged her back. Feeling awkward, she mumbled, "So... umm... I'll miss you... be good, ok?"  
  
Shinji breathed in the scent of her perfume, thinking how much it smelled like home, "Ok," he smiled, pulling back, "you too."  
  
She grinned wolfishly as she released him and grabbed her suitcase, "Even if I'm not, I won't tell you." She winked, "Unlike you, I don't go spouting my business all over the place."  
  
Indignantly, he said, "I thought you were mad at me, and I...OH, just forget it!" He grabbed the lunches he had made the night before and walked past her out the door, still grinning.  
  
Smiling at his retreating form she thought, -I'm sorry Asuka... but I really will tell him as soon as the test is over.- She walked out the door, hurrying to catch Shinji at the elevator so she could tease him some more.  
  
***  
  
  
The first half of the day slid by fairly uneventfully, giving the impression that the second half would as well. Sadly, this was not to be.  
  
The lunch bell rang, inducing most of the students in the classroom to break for the door (after, of course, Hikari made them all stand and bow).  
  
Asuka was trying to keep up a cheerful façade as she finished the e-mail conversation she had been having with her boyfriend for the majority of the class, but her mind was elsewhere, -He seems happy enough... I'll bet Misato didn't tell him!- she frowned, causing a student at another desk to relocate before starting to eat, -DAMN that woman! She promised she would mention it before leaving.- She bit her lower lip, -Maybe I should tell him myself, but...-  
  
She looked up as Hikari walked over to her desk, "Have you seen Touji today?" She looked nervous.  
  
Asuka avoided her eyes, "No... he probably won't be here today."  
  
Hikari looked downcast, "Well... he said he would eat with me today... so I made him lunch." She offered it to Asuka, looking at her hopefully, "You want it?"  
  
"I..." Asuka saw the unspoken question (please talk to me!) in her friend's eyes, and shot a pleading look at Shinji, thinking, -I know he made lunch...- Shinji understood immediately and nodded his head slightly. "Sure," Asuka said cheerfully, "I'll eat it with you."  
  
Hikari's relief was palpable, "Ok... let's walk over and eat by the lookout."  
  
As the two girls walked towards the exit, Asuka glanced at Shinji, mouthing, 'I'm sorry'.  
  
He smiled and pointed to his laptop, mouthing, 'Look at your mail.'  
  
She nodded and went to find out why her friend was acting so strange.  
  
  
***  
  
"Welcome to Matsushiro, mister Suzuhara." Misato saluted the boy and held her hand out to him. He took the proffered hand and shook it gratefully.   
  
"Miss..." he cut himself off, "Major Katsuragi... I..." he trailed off again, then pulled himself together and returned her salute, "I'm glad you're the one I'll be working with."  
  
Misato smiled, "And I'm glad you're onboard, Touji. Please, call me Misato." She gestured behind her, instantly becoming all business, "Now, the locker room is that way... I want to get this over with as soon as possible so we can go home. So go get suited up, ok?"  
  
He saluted again, "Yes, Major!"  
  
As he walked past her, she smiled and said quietly, "It's Misato..."  
  
He stopped and looked at her, smiling as some of the tension left him, "Thank you... Misato..." he went to get changed.  
  
***  
  
Hikari and Asuka were sitting on the grass in the shade of a huge sakura tree.  
  
"You... you knew?" Hikari said, blushing.  
  
Asuka smiled, "EVERYONE knows you like him... everyone except the three-" she cut herself off. She had been about to say the three stooges, but suddenly realized she would be insulting her lover. "...boys." She finished lamely.  
  
Hikari looked at her, tears welling up in her eyes, "You don't understand, Asuka... I don't just like him..."  
  
Asuka's eyes widened, "You mean... you... LOVE that dumb jock!? WHY? What could you possibly see in him?"  
  
Hikari looked away, her face now entirely crimson, "His compassionate side..." She looked at the ground as she continued, not trusting herself to make eye contact, "I've seen how he talks about his little sister, Kimiko... and I've seen how he acts around younger kids. When he thinks no one is watching, he is the sweetest guy, Asuka," she looked up, the tears running down her cheeks, "and I've loved him for so long. I... I just don't know what to do."  
  
At that moment, Asuka didn't either, -I HATE these situations...- she thought angrily, -and I can't tell HER either!!!- she finally settled for putting her hand on Hikari's and saying, "It's... it's ok... don't cry."  
  
Hikari sniffed, "I'm sorry... it's just that I say him talking to Rei yesterday... and he's not here today... and I just don't what to think..." her voice dropped to a whisper, "what if he likes HER...?"  
  
Asuka almost fell off of her seat. "Wondergirl? You're worried about WONDERGIRL???" She threw her head back and laughed, much to Hikari's confusion. Once she got a hold of herself she patted her friend's hand, "Don't worry about her... that girl is denser than lead."  
  
Hikari smiled, wiping at her tears, "Really?"  
  
She nodded emphatically, "Yup. And don't worry about Touji..." once again she debated telling the girl the truth, then discarded at she realized it would make HER worry more than Shinji, "he... probably had to go see his sister again or something."  
  
Hikari brightened, "You're right! I hadn't thought of that..." she looked downcast a moment later, "I wish he had told me though, I would have... I would have gone with him." She was blushing again.  
  
Asuka was about to speak when suddenly Hikari raised her head, smiling, "So... what's going on with you and Shinji?"  
  
Asuka turned green, "Wha-what do you mean?"  
  
Hikari stuck her tongue out slightly and smiled around it, "You know what I mean... Touji isn't the ONLY topic of discussion, you know. So give."  
  
She briefly toyed with the idea of making something up, then decided that letting her best friend in on at least PART of the secret wouldn't hurt. She was trustworthy, "Ummm..." she found she could not look at her friend, "we're... we're seeing each other." She looked up quickly before the other girl could speak, "but it's nothing serious yet... we're just taking things slow right now." She blushed, hating to lie.  
  
Hikari surprised her by throwing her arms around her shoulders, "Oh, Asuka!! I'm so happy for you! He is SUCH a great guy!"  
  
Asuka smiled, -Yeah... yeah he is...- "You gotta keep this a secret, ok? No one knows yet."  
  
Hikari pulled away and smiled, "Well, everyone is talking..."  
  
Asuka blushed deeper, "Well... let them talk... but if anyone asks you, you know NOTHING, ok?"  
  
Hikari made a zipping motion across her lips, "I won't say a word." She smiled at Asuka's loud sigh of relief, then said, "Thanks for talking to me, I feel much better." She stood up and offered a hand to the other girl, "We should get back before we're late."  
  
  
As she reentered the class, Asuka looked for Shinji, determined to tell him. She caught sight of him in the back, laughing with Kensuke. -He looks so happy...- she thought, her determination wavering, -I hope she told him... because I can't bring myself to do it.-  
  
She made her way to her desk and opened her e-mail, curious to see what he wrote earlier. She opened the message and read, 'You better not have enjoyed her lunch more than mine! :) Love you. -Shinji.' She put her head in her hands, whispering, "Damn..."  
  
  
***  
  
"Four minutes to activation... you ok?" Misato looked at the image of Touji on the monitor and decided he looked distinctly pale.  
  
He smiled and looked at the camera, managing to hide most of his unease behind his smile, "Yeah... just hungry..."  
  
Misato laughed. She had watched the boy eat enough for three people less than two hours previous, "Just a little while longer. Hang in there."  
  
He gave her a more honest smile, "Thanks, Misato, I'll try." He took some calming breaths and ran through what he was to do in the next few minutes. Misato's voice echoed in his mind, 'Once the unit becomes active, just look around.' She had turned her head from side to side, 'like this. The EVA will respond and turn its head too. After that, we'll just keep it active long enough to get a few readings, then we'll go home. I'll even buy dinner, k?' Of course, he hadn't objected in the least to that idea.  
  
"Sixty seconds," Misato's voice brought him back to the present, "remember the breathing exercises... close your eyes..."  
  
"First and second stage connections are online," a pretty technician to Misato's right said quietly, "primed for third stage connection on your mark."  
  
Ritsuko spoke firmly, "Third stage connection in forty seconds," to Misato she said, "he's calmer than I would have expected."  
  
Misato looked at her and shrugged, "Unlike Shinji, he is not morally opposed to violence... unlike Rei, he is open and talkative, and unlike Asuka, he is humble about his skills... essentially, he will do what is necessary, WHEN it is necessary. He is the perfect pilot candidate."  
  
Ritsuko thought it over carefully, "Good thing we got him, then, isn't it? Ten seconds."  
  
Touji concentrated on opening his mind. He imagined himself as an empty glass... then as a blank notebook... then an empty box. The box mad him frown, -Hikari! I totally forgot I agreed to have lunch with her today...- as his thoughts shifted to the girl, Evangelion unit 03 went online.  
  
He gasped, -This...- he put a hand to his head, -this hurts... something...- his thoughts started to fade, -someone's... here...-  
  
He faintly heard screaming as darkness folded its soft wings around him.  
  
***  
  
Asuka brought her Evangelion to a stop, crouching behind a small hill, -This should do,- she thought, preparing herself for the upcoming combat.  
  
She hoisted the oversized rocket launcher onto one shoulder of unit 02, and waited.  
  
-I hope Misato told him,- she thought, idly running her fingertips over the controls, -she said she would... but now...- She shivered, thinking of the reported size of the explosion at Matsushiro.  
  
"Misato," she whispered, "I hope you're ok.."  
  
Shinji's voice came over the private channel, "Asuka? Anything yet?" The concern in his voice made her feel warm.  
  
"Nothing yet, darling, keep your pants on." She could almost hear his blush.  
  
"B-be careful, ok?"  
  
She smiled, but it quickly faded as the target came into view. -Mien Gott...- she thought, -I... I don't know if I can do it...-  
  
Shinji's surprised voice came to her, "That's our target??"  
  
Gendou's voice responded firmly, "That is correct."  
  
Shinji hesitated, "It may be an angel... but it's also an EVA... which means there is a pilot inside, isn't there? A child my age."  
  
Asuka's mind raced as the beast slowly approached her, "You mean you still don't know!?" -Dammit, Misato!- she thought angrily, leveling her huge weapon, "The pilot of unit 03 is-" she was cut off as the black EVA lowered its head and charged her.  
  
  
***  
  
Touji opened his eyes slowly, "Whe-Where am I?" He thought he could hear Shinji's voice, questioning. He looked down at himself, confused, "What am I wearing?" He pulled at the gray material, feeling his fingers slide off.  
  
"You mean you still don't know!?" Asuka's voice drew his attention, and he looked up.  
  
He could see the red Evangelion, huge in the view screen he was looking through. -I... I must be in the EVA,- Touji thought, trying to remember what had happened. He remembered the countdown, then a bright flash of pain, then nothing.  
  
"What is going on??" He asked himself, suddenly noticing that unit 02 was bringing its weapon to bear... on him.  
  
He became aware of two things almost simultaneously: first, he noticed that the EVA was moving. Second, HE wasn't willing it to happen. "Something's... wrong..." he whispered. He became aware of a third fact: he hated unit 02.  
  
The hate sprang up from nowhere, engulfing him with rage. He felt the EVA lurch forward, slamming into the red Evangelion and hurling it several hundred feet backwards. "N-NO!!" he cried, grasping his head, "I... I don't hate her... this... this ISN'T ME!!!!"  
  
He felt his arm rise. On the screen, he saw the black and white arm of the EVA do the same, and then the bunched fist came forward hard, striking unit 02 squarely in the jaw. The red mecha lurched backward once more, dropping the rocket launcher on the ground, it's arms pin-wheeling for balance. Touji felt... satisfaction, as the black EVA moved forward for another hit... and another.  
  
Touji saw the red EVA regain it's balance and reach into it's shoulder housing, -Good girl!- he thought. Seeming to pickup on his thoughts, the black EVA's hand shot out, grabbing unit 02 by the wrist and twisting savagely. The progressive knife fell to the ground and the black EVA continued the move, flipping the opposing machine towards the ground.  
  
Touji screamed as the red EVA fell, it's entry plug shooting away seconds before the mighty robot hit the ground. He screamed in horror... and he screamed in revulsion, as every nerve in his body registered the EVA's happiness.  
  
***  
Shinji listened to Asuka's pained screams, then the feed from unit 02 disappeared from his monitor.  
  
"Asuka? ASUKA!!!" He yelled, willing unit 01 forward, determined to protect her from any harm.  
  
He stopped as Hyouga's voice came to him from the command center, "Unit 02 has gone silent, pilot has ejected. Recovery team is moving in for pickup... unit 01, hold your position."  
  
He nodded, "Roger." Then he heaved a relieved sigh, -Asuka... thank goodness.- He turned his attention back to the situation at hand, his brow drawing down, -If there is a pilot in that thing, I've got to find a way to help him.- A little guiltily he hoped that Rei would stop it so he would not have to make the decision.  
  
***  
  
"Rei," Commander Ikari's voice came over the EVA's speakers, "Unit 02 has been disabled. It is up to you to stop the angel. Avoid close-combat if possible."  
  
"Yes." Rei said simply. She brought her rifle to bear, taking careful aim at the nape of the black EVA's neck.  
  
She hesitated, her finger on the trigger, -But... but the pilot is... his friend...-  
  
Her hesitation proved her undoing. The black EVA began to twitch and shudder, then leapt backwards, landing on top of the blue Evangelion.  
  
Rei barely had time to yelp as unit 03 crashed down on top of her, pinning her EVA to the ground. A viscous fluid began to drip from the darker unit onto hers.  
  
Rei cried out in pain. Her left arm felt like it was on fire, the pain slowly spreading from the forearm up.  
  
"The angel seems to be infecting unit 00's left arm." Maya called out, sweat drops beginning to form on her forehead.  
  
"Sever the arm." Gendou replied calmly.  
  
She stood up abruptly and turned to look at him, her voice rising nearly to a scream, "But the pilot's nerve connections are still activ-"  
  
"CUT... IT... OFF!" he answered, pronouncing each word deliberately.  
  
"Yes sir..." she whispered, as she sat back down and entered a sequence on her keyboard.  
  
The pain in Rei's mind was nothing compared to what she experienced now. The left arm of EVA unit 00 exploded at the shoulder, sending feedback racing to her brain.  
  
She gasped, unable to verbalize any further than that as her senses informed her that her left arm was gone. "How... how could... you...?" she whispered in disbelief.  
  
Maya cried out, "Heavy damage to unit 00, the pilot is wounded. Unit cannot continue combat."  
  
The black EVA regarded the blue one for a moment, its eyes narrow. Then it turned and continued its advance toward headquarters.  
  
***  
In the entry plug for unit 03, Touji threw up - violently. The LCL purification system quickly whisked away all traces of the offending material.  
  
"Ayanami... Asuka..." Touji whispered softly, wiping his mouth, "Oh God... I'm so sorry..."  
  
Once more he pulled on the controls, concentrating as he had been taught. -COME ON!!!- but the EVA refused to acknowledge him.  
  
He sat back, exhausted from his efforts. He abruptly sat forward again, as the EVA's long-range sensors picked up another target.  
  
"No..." he whispered, "please, God, no..."  
  
Directly in front of the rampaging EVA stood Evangelion unit 01, piloted by Touji Suzuhara's best friend.  
  
***  
  
"But... but it's an EVA!" Shinji yelled again. He could not take his eyes off of the slowly advancing mecha.  
  
Gendou's voice was like iron, "It is our enemy, you MUST destroy it!"  
  
The black EVA threw its head back and let out an inhuman roar, then launched itself at unit 01, crushing its rifle and knocking it to the ground before coming to rest on all fours.  
  
From this vantagepoint, Shinji could see the half-ejected entry plug rising from the unit's back. "I was right!" He exclaimed, "There IS a pilot in there." He willed unit 01 to its feet, thinking frantically, -I've got to find a way to get him out of there.-  
  
The black EVA suddenly swung its arm back, then shot it forward. Shinji barely had time to register surprise as the arm extended and its hand wrapped around his mecha's throat. It got to its feet and wrapped the other hand around unit 01's neck, squeezing tightly.  
  
"Unit 01," his father's voice rang in his ears, "why don't you fight back?"  
  
Gasping for breath, Shinji said, "Because there's another person in there... I can't kill another human..." he felt the impact in his spine as unit 03 slammed his unit into the hillside and continued its relentless pressure on his windpipe.  
  
"If you do not fight back," came the cold reply, "then you will die. It is our enemy... you MUST destroy our enemy."  
  
"NO!!" Shinji screamed, "I'd rather die!"  
  
In the command center, Gendou yelled, "DAMNITT!" He rose to his feet, "Cut all the pilot's nerve connection and switch to the dummy plug system."  
  
Maya turned in her seat, "But... but Doctor Akagi has not approved the system for use yet, it's not READY!"  
  
"Anything is better than the CURRENT PILOT!" He shouted.  
  
As she began making the switch, Maya tried to reason with him one last time, "But, sir, thirty-four percent of the emotional factors cannot be determined... we have no way to control it!"  
  
Gendou's voice was cold, "Irrelevant. Activate the system. Commence the attack."  
  
***  
  
Shinji felt the pressure suddenly leave his neck. The screen in front of him went black, then flared to life again. Shinji looked around in confusion as all the systems came back online, and the unit began to move.  
  
"Father! What the hell are you doing?!?!" He screamed.  
  
The cockpit of Evangelion unit 01 was glowing an angry red, as the hands of the giant mecha flexed and reached up to encircle the throat of the angel-possessed unit 03. Unit 03 tried to force the other mecha back to the ground, but it was clear that unit 01 was the stronger of the two as it slowly rose to it's feet and began squeezing.  
  
Shinji pulled hard on the controls, but to no avail - the unit would not respond. "Father!" he screamed, "Stop this!"  
  
Gendou replied calmly, "The angel must be defeated, pilot, since you are not up to the task, this is the way it must be."   
  
A loud *crack* echoed across the valley, as unit 03's neck gave out under the tremendous pressure exerted by the dummy-plug controlled unit 01. Shinji looked through the view screen and saw unit 03's arms fall to its sides.  
  
In the control room, Maya Ibuki looked up from her terminal with a sick look on her face, "Unit 03 is silent, should I cancel the dummy plug control?" Her fingers hovered over the keyboard, awaiting the command.  
  
Gendou Ikari looked down from the top of the control tower, a faint smile barely visible at the corners of his mouth as he spoke, "Not just yet."  
  
"DAMMIT!" Shinji screamed, "It's dead!! Make this stop!!"  
  
Maya looked uncertainly at the commander, then at the other technicians, who were starring at Gendou with stunned expressions. Aoba Shigeru spoke tentatively, "But, sir, the target is no longer a threat, and there is a pilot - a HUMAN pilot inside."  
  
Gendou's expression darkened slightly, as he stared the technician down, "It could be a ploy. You have your orders."  
  
On the monitor, unit 01 could be seen slamming unit 03 to the ground, when a light on Maya's terminal went on, "Oh my God..." she whispered  
  
Suddenly, Shinji's voice came in clear and angry over the communications network, "Father, can you hear me? I've just initiated Unit 01's self-destruct sequence. Stop this now, or you'll have two less EVAs instead of one!"  
  
"Sixty seconds until self-destruct," Maya stared at the screen wide-eyed, "he's really going to do it!"  
  
Gendou's mouth tightened very slightly, as unit 01 crushed unit 03's head and began pulling on its chest armor. His voice remained calm throughout, "I suppose this experiment is over. Deactivate the dummy plug system, and put us at yellow alert."  
  
Maya quickly tapped as sequence on her keyboard, and unit 01 immediately stopped moving - the entry plug for unit 03 could be seen in its hands.  
  
"Retrieval crew estimates three minutes until status of Fourth Child is ascertained." Aoba's voice was shaky.  
  
Maya broke into a relieved smile, tapping on her keyboard, "Receiving transmission from mount Matsushiro - it's major Katsuragi, she's alive!"  
  
Misato's voice came over the speakers, "Shinji? Shinji, can you hear me?"  
  
Shinji was close to tears, "Misato! Oh, I'm so glad... I thought you were dead."  
  
Misato went on hesitantly, "Shinji, there's something I need to tell you about the pilot of unit 03."  
  
Shinji whispered, "I think I killed him, Misato. Father activated the dummy plug and unit 01 attacked... it broke unit 03's neck, I think the pilot must have died." He was close to tears, "Asuka ejected safely and they tell me she's ok, but they won't let me talk to her... no one will tell me what is going on..."  
  
Misato continued, "Shinji, I am so sorry... I should have told you who the pilot was, but I thought it would worry you too much, and I..."  
  
On Unit 01's monitor, Shinji could see the recovery team opening the hatch to entry plug for unit 03. He could hear the technician speaking quickly, "Pilot is alive, but unconscious. We cannot revive him, moving him to intensive care unit."  
  
Misato could hear the relief in her young charge's voice, "Misato! He's alive! Oh thank God!!"  
  
-I should have told him before I left...- she thought regretfully, "Shinji, the pilot of unit 03 is..."  
  
The recovery technician pulled the pilot's limp body out of the entry plug and put it on a gurney, Shinji could plainly see the face of his friend Touji Suzuhara on unit 01's monitor.  
  
Shinji's scream echoed throughout NERV headquarters and cut through Misato Katsuragi's heart like a knife.  
  
To be continued...  
  
  
Omake  
  
From the scene where Shinji activates the self destruct system:  
  
"Sixty seconds until self-destruct," Maya stared at the screen wide-eyed, "he's really going to do it!"  
  
Gendou's mouth tightened very slightly, as unit 01 crushed unit 03's head and began pulling on its chest armor. His voice remained calm throughout, "I suppose this experiment is over. Deactivate the dummy plug system, and put us at yellow alert."  
  
Maya quickly tapped as sequence on her keyboard, and unit 01 immediately stopped moving - the entry plug for unit 03 could be seen in its hands.  
  
After a few seconds of silence, Shinji's timid voice came over the speakers, "Ummm...how do I turn this thing off?"  
  
In the control room, everyone looked at each other and got under their desks, except for Gendou. He put his head in his hands, whispering, "Yui, our son is -WAS- an idiot..."  
  
Five seconds later, Evangelion unit 01 exploded, scattering EVA bits all over the countryside.  
  
  
Author's notes: They never SAY that Touji was unconscious when unit 03 was taken over, just that he was breathing and had a heartbeat... so that's what I figured he would be feeling. Other than that, not much to note in this one... pretty straight forward.  
  
I do want to say thanks to Ryoma for pre-reading and catching several grammatical mistakes, and helping me out with a few flow problems. Thanks!  
  
Feedback is always welcome at Random1377@yahoo.com. (If the feedback is negative, please be specific... as opposed to just saying, "Wow, this sucks.")  



	5. Aftershocks/Reluctance

Disclaimers: Evangelion is trademarked by Gainax, they own all the rights to it. I'm just writing a fan-fiction story of events that I thought would be cool, so Gainax, please don't sue me. This is a continuation of the Deviance arc, integrating with and modifying episodes 15 - 24 of Evangelion, as well as the film End of Evangelion. This particular story fits as episode 19 in continuity. Hope you like it. One last note, due to some misspellings in a previous work of mine, all name spellings in this piece were taken from the translated copy of the Red Cross Book that I have (where applicable - some things I had to find elsewhere, like the spelling of Touji's last name - which came from the name plate on his sister's hospital room in episode 17).  
  
Part 5  
  
(Episode 19)  
Aftershocks/Reluctance  
By Random1377  
  
Central Dogma was still as death. The echoes of Shinji Ikari's scream had long since faded, and none of the technicians were exactly sure what to do next, as all external commands were being shut off by the EVA's pilot. Hyouga Makoto spoke first, "Shinji, if the commander hadn't activated the dummy system, you would have been killed!"  
  
Shinji's quiet voice came back from the com system, "That's not the point..."  
  
Maya Ibuki spoke up, "He's right Shinji, we ALL would have been killed."  
  
Shinji's voice roared through the control room, "I said that's not the point!! My father tried to kill Touji - tried to make ME kill Touji! He won't get away with that... do you hear me father?! YOU WON'T!! Explain yourself NOW! I have 185 seconds of power remaining in unit 01, and I will destroy as much of this place as I have too to get to you, if you don't answer me NOW!!!"  
  
Gendou Ikari sat motionless on the command dais, fingers intertwined. He spoke quietly, "Increase the pressure of the entry plug's LCL to maximum, I have no time to waste with a petulant child."  
  
Inside the entry plug, Shinji grabbed the control yokes and willed unit 01 forward, when suddenly all of the LCL was forced from his lungs, and blackness started to close in.  
  
He whispered, "Damn! Damn!"  
  
Maya looked up from her console, "Unit 01's pilot is unconscious, beginning retrieval."   
  
Gendou acknowledged her, "Understood. Get me Dr. Akagi on the red line."  
  
Maya tapped in a sequence on her machine, "Yes sir."  
  
Gendou spoke calmly into the phone, "Akagi, the status of the fourth is uncertain, and the third may be unusable now... it is time to ready the fifth."  
  
***  
  
Ritsuko Akagi and Misato Katsuragi stood looking at the wreckage of unit 03. Ritsuko was on her cell phone, "Very well, sir, I know just the one... yes, I will prepare it right away"  
  
Misato looked at her old friend curiously as she hung up, "Anything I should know?"  
  
Ritsuko looked weary, "No... at least, not yet. Now about unit 03"  
  
They both regarded the bloody mass of flesh and armor plates. Misato spoke quietly, "Let me guess... a total loss, right?"  
  
Ritsuko looked at her, hesitated, then spoke, "No, actually... it can be regenerated given about a month's time as it was barely under the Heinfleck limit," Misato's jaw dropped open, but Ritsuko kept talking as if she had said nothing strange at all, "but the problem we have with it is two-fold at this point. First, we have to make sure that all traces of the angel are removed from the unit before reactivating it, on the off chance that it is somehow dormant. Second... the pilot is still in a coma. And Shinji... is currently being removed from unit 01."  
  
Misato looked worried, "Is he ok?"  
  
Ritsuko nodded, "Yes, but they will have to cut the entry plug open and remove him by force... he'll be in the hospital for a day or so, recovering from the excessive pressure of the LCL... then he will have a conference with the commander."  
  
Misato shuddered and looked away, "Then he probably won't be allowed to pilot anymore, will he?"  
  
Ritsuko shrugged, "I don't know... but there are always alternatives"  
  
Misato looked at her sharply, "What do you mean?"  
  
Ritsuko shook her head, "Never mind, but even if he is allowed to, will he want to?"  
  
Misato spoke quietly, "I don't know..."  
  
  
***  
  
Shinji woke from troubled dreams to find himself handcuffed to a bed in the infirmary. He looked around and noticed Touji in the bed next to his, unconscious. Hikari Horaki sat by his bed, weeping quietly. Shinji's voice came out sounding rough (most likely due to the screaming he had done), "Hikari? Is... he ok?"  
  
Hikari wiped her eyes quickly and tried to smile at Shinji, "They... they don't know. He hasn't regained consciousness since... since the accident, and they don't know if he ever will..." She could see that this upset Shinji, so she went on quickly, "but they said the same thing when you were in the hospital after the fifth angel attack, Major Katsuragi told me. So don't worry... I'm sure he'll be fine."  
  
Shinji smiled at her, "Thanks, Hikari... but if he is or not, I'm never getting into EVA again." He paused for a minute, "Is Asuka ok? I know her plug was retrieved, but how is she?" -I thought she would be here when I woke- he thought, with some disappointment.  
  
She was about to respond, when a nurse came in. Hikari looked confused, "I still have two hours with him, don't I?"  
  
The nurse responded kindly, "Well, you do, but you have been asked to report to this room immediately," She handed Hikari a piece of paper and turned to Shinji, her tone becoming noticeably cooler, "and now that you are awake, you are to dress and report to the office of the commander at once. A guard is waiting outside to escort you." She threw the key to the handcuffs onto his bed (barely within his reach), turned on her heel and left.  
  
Hikari started gathering her bags, a troubled look on her face, "I hope everything goes well for you, Shinji... and I hope I see you again."  
  
Shinji looked at her, concerned, "Are you ok, Hikari? You look pale."   
  
Hikari started to nod, then shook her head instead, "This note says they have found information about what happened to my mother... she's been missing for 10 years. I have to go find out." She looked at him, obviously torn between going and answering his last question, " I have to..." she said desperately. She ran out, leaving Shinji to dress alone.  
  
***  
  
  
Asuka was fuming... no, Asuka was furious, -How DARE they!- she thought, pacing back and forth in her room, -House arrest indeed!- She thought of Shinji, all alone in his hospital room, and her features softened, -I'm sorry... I should be there with you...-  
  
There was knock on her door, and she heard Misato's voice on the other side, "Asuka? Are you ok?"  
  
Asuka went to the door and opened it, surprised to see Misato wearing a cast on one arm, "I thought... I thought you weren't injured..." she asked, some of her anger forgotten.  
  
Misato smiled ruefully, "Only MINOR injuries... if you call this," she lifted the cast for emphasis, "minor. But I came here to tell you about Shinji."  
  
Asuka's face screwed up with concern, "When can I see him?"  
  
Misato averted her eyes, "That... that could prove to be difficult..." She raised her good hand to stop Asuka's forthcoming tirade, "For one thing, I don't know when they are going to let you out again. Even though it's just house arrest and not the real thing - honestly, Asuka! You broke a man's nose!"  
  
Asuka looked at the floor and muttered, "He... he touched me..."  
  
Misato tilted her head to the side, "He caught you before you could attack commander Ikari, you mean."  
  
Asuka shrugged, smiling slightly, "You tell it your way..."  
  
Misato went on, quieter, "For another thing, I don't think he's going to pilot anymore. He had an interview with the commander and I... I think he's resigned his pilot's status."  
  
Asuka paled slightly, "Does that mean... he'll leave?" Her voice rose quickly, "Because if he does, Misato you know that-"  
  
Misato cut her off gently, "I know... you'll go where he does." She smiled at the younger woman's blush, "You've both made it very clear to me where you stand. The only solution available is to convince Shinji to stay in Tokyo-3, since I can't lose both of you." She paused, then continued in a stern tone, "But I must say I'm very disappointed in you... he was scared and confused, and you were off beating up on NERV personnel, you should have been-"  
  
Asuka bowed her head, "I know..." she whispered, "I should have been there to comfort him..."  
  
Misato's face lightened, and she put her hand on Asuka's shoulder. They stood quietly like that for some time.  
  
  
  
***  
  
  
  
Ritsuko was sitting across from Hikari, "Your linear thinking test scores are very high,"  
  
Hikari answered quickly, "But Rei's are much higher than mine."  
  
The interview had been going on for what seemed like hours, and Hikari felt like she was going to explode. She had reported to room 5114 as requested, and found this woman, Dr. Ritsuko Akagi, waiting for her. Akagi had informed her that the information she wanted was coming, but that she wanted to talk to her about a project she wanted Hikari to be part of. Hikari had tried her best to back out of it, what with Touji and everything else going on, but Akagi had been relentless, "You are also doing very well in Physics, Physical education, and Mathematics."  
  
Hikari thought about it for a moment, "Well, I do ok... but Asuka is better in Physics than me, and I always ask Shinji for Math help. And Touji is - was - the number one track runner in school. I don't think I'm the right person for your project."  
  
Ritsuko was smiling, "On the contrary, I think you are quite well suited. You have tested well in all the necessary areas, you are in top physical condition... and judging by how much time you spend in Mr. Suzuhara's room, you are fiercely loyal and dedicated." Hikari was blushing and frowning at the same time, but Ritsuko ignored this and went on, "I'm going to cut to the chase here, Ms. Horaki, and I THINK you may even have some idea of what we need you for."  
  
Hikari paled, as realization dawned. She whispered, "You can't mean..."  
  
Ritsuko smiled as the young girl finally caught on, "I think you get it, but let's make sure. All of the people you said are better than you, what do they have in common?"  
  
Hikari's voice could barely be heard, "They're all Evangelion pilots."  
  
Ritsuko nodded her approval, "Correct. And you are to be the next."  
  
Hikari looked desperate, "But why me?? I'm not special."  
  
Ritsuko said matter-of-factly, "On the contrary, you are very special indeed. Only four other children with your qualifications have EVER been found, and since two of them are currently unavailable, we need you to do this." A man walked into the room holding a piece of folded, yellowing paper. He handed it to Ritsuko and bowed, then walked out. Hikari's eyes locked onto the paper, and Ritsuko smiled slightly.   
  
Ritsuko's tone became confiding and friendly, which made Hikari vaguely ill, "You know, I lost my mother when I was young too... I know what it's like to be alone. But I can't imagine not knowing what happened to her, it must be killing you. What is on this paper won't be easy for you to read, you know, are you sure you want to see it?" she toyed with the paper in her hand. Hikari looked from it to Ritsuko's face, then back again.  
  
Hikari spoke quietly, not meeting the older woman's gaze, "If I refuse to pilot... you won't let me see it, will you?"  
  
Ritsuko's face flashed with the briefest hint of amusement, but her voice conveyed surprise, "Now, why would you think that?"  
  
Hikari looked at her again, closer this time. Ritsuko did her best to look reassuring, but Hikari could see the older woman's fingers tensed around the paper... ready to tear at a moment's notice. She sighed, knowing she could not win, "I'll do it..."  
  
Ritsuko's hands relaxed, and she handed the paper to Hikari, "I'm glad you made this decision. Report to NERV headquarters tomorrow at 6:00 am for initial testing, and welcome aboard." She turned to leave, but hesitated at the door, "Hikari... until things get more stable, keep this to yourself. Ok?"  
  
Hikari just nodded, the piece of paper clutched to her chest. Ritsuko smiled once more, and walked out. Hikari sat quietly for a moment, trying to control the tears that threatened to come. -Me... an EVA pilot. Who would have thought?- She regarded the paper in her hands, suddenly not so sure if she wanted to open it. -Touji...- she though fiercely, -I'll do it for him, not her!- She unfolded the paper and began to read.  
  
Soon, the tears running from her eyes made it impossible to continue.  
  
  
***  
  
  
Shinji stood looking out at Tokyo-3 and sighed, "So beautiful..."   
  
"You're talking about me, right?" Shinji jumped and whirled around to find Asuka standing behind him. She wore a slight frown and had her hands on her hips.  
  
"A-Asuka... I..." He began.  
  
She cut him off, "If you're going to try to give me some lame excuse about how this is all your fault, save it! I don't want to hear that from you, do you understand?"  
  
"But... but Touji's-" He fumbled for words, but she cut him off again.  
  
"Didn't you hear me? I said I don't want to hear it! I don't even want to hear where you've been the last two days, I just don't want to HEAR IT!" Her voice had grown steadily louder until she had yelled the last two words.  
  
Shinji bowed his head, "I'm sorry... but I'm the one who-"  
  
Asuka threw her hands in the air, "ARRRGGHHH!!! Why are you so hard to get through too?!" She closed the distance between them and slapped him, "Don't apologize to me for things that aren't your fault, it makes me sick!"  
  
Shinji didn't look up as he whispered, "You won't have to worry about it after tomorrow, I'll be gone... I won't-"  
  
Asuka slapped him again, harder, "No! You won't!" He looked up at her, stunned, as she continued, "The only reason I didn't come find you sooner is because I was trapped in Misato's apartment..." she saw the confusion on his face, "long story, but anyway. You will NOT be leaving me, do you understand?"  
  
His mouth hung open, and he rubbed his twice-slapped check, "But Touji-" he stopped as she raised her hand threateningly.  
  
"Listen, Shinji," she sounded angry, "even if Touji's injuries ARE your fault, and even if you NEVER get into unit 01 again - I DON'T CARE!" Her voice began to crack as she continued, "but if you try to leave me... if you leave I won't forgive you." She stepped closer to him, and he could see the tears welling in the corners of her eyes, "You belong to me, Shinji Ikari, I won't let you leave me. If you try I'll hunt you down. You are mine!" She grabbed him and hugged him fiercely, whispering, "I need you..."  
  
"Asuka... I don't.... I don't know what to do... everything is so... so..." Shinji found that he was on the verge of tears.  
  
Asuka whispered into his ear, "I know it is." She hugged him tighter, "Stay with me, Shinji... I won't judge you. No matter what you have done, no matter what you will do, I love you.... I love you now and I love you always. Don't leave me... please..."  
  
Shinji's mind was in turmoil. He had come to the highest point above Tokyo-3 to bid the city goodbye. Now the strongest person that he knew was asking, no begging, him to stay... for her! How could he refuse her?  
  
He put his arms around her gently, whispering, "Shhh... it's ok... I'm not going anywhere..." In his mind he added, -But I will stand by my decision.... I won't ever pilot EVA again.-  
  
Asuka's crying began to taper off. She sniffed, and spoke softly against his chest, "Shinji... it's been four days since we-"  
  
She was cut off mid-sentence by Tokyo-3's warning siren. They looked at each other, wide-eyed, then Asuka kissed him hard on the lips. After a moment she pulled away and started running, yelling over her shoulder, "Get to a shelter! I'll take care of this, and when I get back, we'll pick up where we left off."  
  
"Ok..." Shinji waved, but Asuka had already rounded a corner and was gone.  
  
  
  
***  
  
  
  
Once again, Central Dogma was in chaos. The alarm had been going for several minutes, and the ground to air defenses had not been able to so much as slow the oncoming angel.  
  
Hyouga sounded close to panic, "The angel has almost penetrated the last layer of armor."  
  
Misato considered the options and spoke quickly, "Then there's no time to intercept on the surface. Position Asuka inside the Geofront, just in front of headquarters to snipe the target."  
  
The red Evangelion rocketed to the surface and surrounded itself with guns. It selected one and waited for the angel to appear. In the entry plug, Asuka gripped the control yokes tightly, "I can beat this angel, Shinji... you won't have to be hurt again. I promise."  
  
Misato turned to Maya, "What is the status of units 00 and 01?"  
  
Maya replied tautly, "Unit 00 is still not combat ready. Rei is currently being inserted into unit 01 with a dummy plug backup."  
  
Misato nodded grimly, "Understood." -I'm counting on you, Asuka- she thought tensely.  
  
Aoba shouted, "It's penetrated the last layer of armor! It's in the Geofront!!"  
  
Asuka saw the armor buckle and give way, allowing the huge beast to squeeze through. She spoke to herself confidently, "Here it comes! Alright, Asuka... let's show them how it should be done. For HIM!!"  
  
Unit 02 squeezed the trigger on the palette rifle it was holding, and a stream of high velocity shells and tracers tore through the air....  
  
  
***  
  
  
In the shelter, Shinji hugged his knees tightly, thinking, -This... this doesn't feel right... I should be fighting too.-  
  
He thought of Asuka's last kiss, of how passionate it was, -She might die... and I'm cowering in here.-   
  
"Hey Shinji! Is that you?" His thoughts were distracted by someone shouting his name. He looked up to see Kensuke coming towards him. He stopped directly in front of him and spoke again, "It IS you! Man, I thought you would be in unit 01 by now!"  
  
Shinji looked down, "I told you, I gave that up." He said in a dejected tone.  
  
Kensuke pushed his glasses up on his nose and winked, "Yeah, I know that's what you SAID... but you've said that before."  
  
Shinji kept his head down, "Well... I mean it this time."  
  
Kensuke frowned down at his friend, "You know something Shinji? I'm surprised at you."  
  
Shinji didn't look up as he answered in a quiet voice, "Why, Kensuke? Because I don't want to get hurt any more? Or because I'm tired of being manipulated? Which surprises you most?"  
  
Kensuke dropped into a catcher's crouch and looked Shinji in the eye, not smiling, "No, Shinji... I'm surprised that you would just sit here doing nothing while other people risk their lives to save the one's they love. I never thought you were that kind of person." He got up and walked away without saying another word.  
  
Shinji stared after him, his words echoing in his head.   
  
  
***  
  
  
  
"DAMNITT!! Why won't you fall?!?" Asuka had already emptied three rifle's worth of ammunition into the angel, without any apparent effect. "I can't lose again! Not again!!!" She grabbed two rocket launchers and brought them to bear, pulling the triggers.  
  
-Oh God... please... so much depends on me, I can't fail... he'll be killed!- She thought frantically, as round after round slammed ineffectually into the monster in front of her.  
  
"What the...?" Asuka started in bewilderment as two ribbon-like arms unfolded from the beast's stubby shoulders and dangled down. Bewilderment became pain, as the ribbons lashed out, connecting with her EVA at the shoulder joints.  
  
Asuka screamed in agony as the EVA's arms flew in different directions. Blood shot from the resulting holes, bathing the countryside in purple. She clutched her shoulders, trying to tell herself that her arms were still there. -I've... got... to stop it...Shinji... Shinji...- she thought through the pain.  
  
In Central Dogma, Misato watched in horror as unit 02 began to charge the angel.  
  
"Asuka, no!!" She cried futilely. She turned to Maya and shouted, "Cut her nerve connections, now!!" Maya completed the sequence as the Angel's arm shot out and severed unit 02's head, sending it flying backwards toward the city.  
  
  
***  
  
  
-Kensuke's right- Shinji thought, huddling in a corner of the shelter, -I SHOULD be out there.- He got to his feet, smiling, "Guess I can always just-"  
  
He was cut off by a monumental crash.  
  
When the dust finally settled, he risked a look, and his eyes went wide - unit 02's head was lying half in and half out of the shelter.  
  
"A-Asuka..." his face displayed determination as he started to run.  
  
  
***  
  
  
The angel calmly floated past unit 02, paying it no mind.  
  
In the entry plug, Asuka cursed softly, "Damn... damn..."  
  
  
***  
  
  
The LCL charged in unit 00 as the EVA went active, affording Rei a view of the outside world.  
  
She thought back to the events of just a few minutes ago, the LCL charging... the feedback... the scream in her mind.  
  
"Time," she whispered to herself, "buy him some time... and he will come." She willed the EVA forward, heading towards the weapons storehouse... and the N^2 mines contained therein.  
  
  
***  
  
  
Shinji had only stopped to consider unit 02 for a moment, whispering, "Asuka... I'm coming..." before continuing his run towards Central Dogma.  
  
He paused again as Unit 00 came shooting to the surface of the Geofront. "Rei? With no rifle!!!"  
  
He watched in horror as the giant blue mecha charged the angel, an N^2 mine tucked under it's arm.  
  
Rei reached the angel and brought the N^2 mine down like a knife, feeling it meet with the angel's field. "Full power," she whispered, increasing her own field's output.  
  
The angel's field gave way suddenly, allowing the N^2 mine to reach it's body. Rei triggered the device, just as a pair of shutters snapped closed over the angel's core. "Unh!" she gasped in surprise, a moment before the device went off.   
  
Shinji threw himself to the ground, covering his head, as the mine went off, -REI!!- his mind screamed.  
  
As soon as the blast had dissipated, he risked a look up.  
  
He was just in time to see the angel split Unit 00's head with its razor sharp arm.  
  
"NO!" he screamed, -have to get there...- he picked himself up and kept running.  
  
  
***  
  
  
Misato had known what is meant to be afraid, but she had never experienced anything like this before.   
  
Ten feet in front of her, the fourteenth angel seem to regard her and the rest of the bridge crew, its head tilted to one side. - Is it... smiling??- Misato thought.  
  
She would never know.  
  
The angel's eyes began to glow with an unholy light. -This is it,- she thought, clutching her cross in her good hand, -I won't close my eyes... I won't...-  
  
As the light became almost unbearable, a purple fist crashed into the side of the angel's head. Misato's eyes went wide, "Eva unit one?" she asked in wonder. Then in a whisper, "Shinji?"  
  
  
***  
  
  
Shinji screamed as he willed the EVA to pick the angel up and force it through the wall it had come through. -Have to get it away from everyone- he thought.  
  
The EVA came crashing down on top of the angel, and Shinji raised the mecha's left hand to punch the angel.  
  
The angel raised its head, its eyes flashing, and unit 01's arm was severed at the elbow.  
  
Shinji screamed in agony as the arm, and a substantial amount of the EVA's blood, slammed into the wall behind him.  
  
-Have to get out of here! It's too confined.- he thought. Then an idea struck him. He slapped the angel with his remaining hand, then kicked it, forcing it back towards the far wall.  
  
-I hope this works,- he thought. He crouched low and rushed the angel, slamming it backwards into one of the EVA's launch platforms. "MISATO!!!" he screamed.  
  
Misato understood his intentions perfectly, "Launch the fifth catapult, hurry!"  
  
As the catapult rocketed towards the surface, Shinji pressed the angel's face against the launch rail, satisfied to see the sparks that were flying. They cleared the tower and started free falling, unit 01 still on top.  
  
As they hit the ground, Shinji screamed again, pounding the angel with unit 01's fist as hard as he could.  
  
-I'll tear you apart!- he thought, his vision red. Unit 01 reached forward and began pulling on the angel's face, stretching it out of proportion.  
  
-Yes! YES!- he thought, a feral smile on his face, -just a little more and-  
  
Suddenly, unit 01 stopped pulling and sagged forward, an alarm sounded behind the pilot's seat.  
  
"What? Out of power!?" Shinji could only sit helpless, as the angel wrapped its whip-like hand around unit 01's head and tossed it aside like a sack of grain.  
  
  
***  
  
  
The bridge crew reached the surface just in time to see unit 01 slam into the mountainside.  
  
"Unit 01 is out of power, the backup supply is not working!" Maya reported tensely, looking up from her laptop.  
  
Misato whispered, "Shinji..."  
  
Shinji pulled on the controls, frantic. "Move!! Move move move!! Come on, you've got to move now, or there's no point to any of this!!" The entry plug rocked as something hit the EVA from the outside. Then it shook harder as an explosion tore part of armor from the chest. Suddenly Shinji could feel a steady pounding, as if something was trying to get inside.  
  
He yanked the controls harder, "You have to move, or everyone will be killed... SHE'LL be killed!! Oh, I'm sick of it already!!! Just move you GODAMN MONSTER!!!"  
  
A sound like a heartbeat froze the words on his lips, as the entire entry plug shone with an interior blue light. Shinji felt power surging through the EVA, and through him... and then everything went dark.  
  
  
***  
  
  
The angel continued it's relentless pounding on EVA 01's core. It was bringing it's right hand down for another hit, when the EVA's eyes flared to life and it stretched it's hand out, splitting the angel's ribbon-like appendage into five pieces - then yanking the angel hard against it's horn.  
  
"EVA unit 01 is... reactivated..." Misato's voice was full of disbelief, but not as much as Maya's, "How can this be??" She spun from her laptop to face Ritsuko, "How can his sync ratio be over four hundred percent?!?"  
  
Ritsuko whispered in awe, as the EVA took the angel's arm and regenerated it's own, "It's finally happened... its aware..."  
  
The EVA roared, as the angel tried to lash out with it's remaining arm, only to have unit 01 tear it in half at the midpoint. Unit 01 crouched down and began to walk, crab-like, towards the angel. The angel raised its head, the eyes glowing with power, but unit 01 slammed it back down onto the ground. Unit 01's eyes narrowed, and it leaned towards the angel.  
  
"Oh my God... it's EATING the angel...?!?" Misato's voice registered shock.  
  
"It's taking the S^2 organ into itself!!" Ritsuko sounded worried.  
  
Maya could not stand the sight any longer, and was rather loudly sick.  
  
The bridge crew watched in horrified fascination as Unit 01 consumed the angel.  
  
To be continued.  
  
Omake  
  
From the scene where Ritsuko "recruits" Hikari:  
  
Ritsuko was smiling, "On the contrary, I think you are quite well suited. You have tested well in all the necessary areas, you are in top physical condition... and judging by how much time you spend in Mr. Suzuhara's room, you are fiercely loyal and dedicated." Hikari was blushing and frowning at the same time, but Ritsuko ignored this and went on, "I'm going to cut to the chase here, Ms. Horaki, and I THINK you may even have some idea of what we need you for."  
  
Hikari paled, as realization dawned. She whispered, "You can't mean..."  
  
Ritsuko nodded, "That's right* we want you to be this month's NERV centerfold."  
  
Hikari fell out of her chair, "E-Excuse me??" she said, picking herself up off the floor.  
  
Ritsuko held her fingers up one by one, "Oh, it's very prestigious. You DEFINITELY have all of the qualifications: you're cute, tall, fit - and you have a nice rack, so I think you will do nicely." She leaned forward confidentially, "And on a more personal note, I think you're very... VERY sexy..."  
  
Sweating, Hikari decided that it was time for her to leave.  
  
  
Author's notes: Writing this part made me nervous. The fight with the 14th angel is, in my opinion, the second best anime fight scene ever. Between all three EVAs it lasts about ten minutes - ten minutes on one fight scene! I was worried that I would not be able to do it justice, and I hope I didn't disappoint (what is THE best fight scene, you ask? Asuka versus the EVA series, in End of Evangelion... and I am WAY edgy about doing that one right.) And YES, I know the whole series is filled with that Warm And Fuzzy Feeling - this is on purpose! Get over it. Next chapter should be up in a week or two... and I LIKE the next chapter... a LOT! ;)  
  
Thanks again to Ryoma for prereading!  
  
Feedback is welcome at Random1377@yahoo.com  
  
  



	6. Fourth and Fifth

Disclaimer: Gainax owns Evangelion, not me, so stop asking me to explain End of Evangelion, 'cause I'm just as clueless as you all!! Also, if you happen to work for Gainax, kindly request that your employer not sue me, as I am just writing this for amusement and will not profit from it in any way. Ok? This is part 6 of my Deviance storyline, started in Asuka: Beyond her heart. You should be able to get the gist of it all without reading the other parts, but read 'em anyway... they're not that bad.  
  
Part 6  
(Episode 20)  
Fourth and Fifth  
By Random1377  
  
Day one  
  
Misato Katsuragi was staring at the heavily bandaged Unit 01, "So there is a chance he can be brought back?"  
  
Ritsuko Akagi looked up from her computer terminal, "There is a chance. Everything that makes Shinji, well, Shinji, is still in the entry plug. We tried once before, with the test pilot of Unit 01... but we were not successful"  
  
Misato kept her back turned to Ritsuko, so she could not see the tear running down her cheek. She spoke quietly, "Do everything that you can to get him back to me..." -To us,- she thought to herself, -us...-  
  
Day two  
  
"I don't care if Rei is ok!! Just bring HIM back to me, Misato!!" Asuka Langley Souryu slammed the phone back down on its cradle and lay down on her bed again, covering her head with a pillow, -I couldn't do anything... nothing at all- she thought, angry at herself, -Shinji had to be hurt again, just to save me... I'm useless-   
  
She threw her head back and screamed her sorrow, "Oh please... God, PLEASE! Bring him back to me..." she began to sob, "please... I can't... I can't live without him anymore..."  
  
The tears that she cried were bitter... and lonely...  
  
Day fifteen  
  
"Understood." Gendou Ikari hung up the phone that he was talking into, and spoke to the others gathered in his office, "I have just received confirmation. NERV branch two and Evangelion Unit 04 have reappeared in the Nevada desert."  
  
Misato and Ritsuko both gasped. Gendou went on as if he had not heard them, "Dr. Akagi, I know that you are working to retrieve the pilot of Unit 01 so you will not be needed for what I have in mind. Major Katsuragi, you are in charge of our defenses, so you will not do either. Now I'm sure you are wondering why you are here, and the reason is quite simple. Dr. Akagi, I will need you to teach your subordinate, Miss Ibuki everything necessary to insert a core essence and activate an Evangelion unit without any other support staff."  
  
Both women gasped again. Gendou's mouth quirked down at the interruption as he continued, "Major, I need you to ready the Fifth Child to pilot Unit 04. Also inform your lover, mister Ryouji, that he will be going with the two woman for security purposes - and close your mouth Major, you have not been exactly discrete."  
  
Misato's mouth snapped shut, and she bowed quickly, "Yes sir, but shouldn't Rei or Asuka go to pilot the unit out? The Fifth Child has been training less than three weeks... and why does Kaji need to go?"  
  
Gendou folded his hands, "Rei is still recovering from her wounds, and I have my reasons to doubt the stability of the Second Child. I assume you saw her charge the fourteenth angel, even though her unit had no arms? It must be the Fifth. As to Mister Ryouji being needed... let's just say there are certain other parties that would be interested in getting their hands on an intact Evangelion... by any means they can. He will be useful for security reasons. They will be leaving tomorrow, so prepare them. Dismissed."  
  
As they turned to leave, Kouzou Fuyutsuki spoke, "Major, a moment more."  
  
Ritsuko kept walking, while Misato turned and waited. Fuyutsuki continued once Ritsuko had left, "We have one last bit of information on the site, make sure your pilot is aware."  
  
Misato looked from the sub commander to the commander and back again, "What is it, sir?"  
  
Gendou spoke quietly, "The branch has returned, this is true, but remember that it was fully staffed when it disappeared. There will be... bodies."  
  
  
Day sixteen  
  
Hikari swallowed hard, "I understand. Just out of curiosity though, why can't we take one of the other units with us, or a more skilled pilot? My sync ratio is not as high as any of the others."  
  
Misato was sifting through the stack of data on the mission, "Well, Unit 00 is repaired, but Rei is still not up to it - though if we get attacked, she will HAVE to be up to it. And Units 02 and 03 are still being worked on, so basically... you are all we've got." She looked up and smiled, "You'll do fine, it's just a little pick up mission, and I'll be in radio contact if anything goes wrong. Don't worry about it."  
  
Kaji spoke up from his position against the wall, "Don't worry about a thing, as long as I'm around, nothing can go wrong."  
  
He turned and winked at Hikari, while Misato made a rather unpleasant face at his back. Hikari tried to relax, but found it difficult under the four pairs of eyes that were currently appraising her. Misato and Kaji both looked reassuring, but Ritsuko was staring at her intently and Maya was looking slightly ill - not very comforting, as far as Hikari was concerned.  
  
Maya said timidly, "I'm still not too sure about this ma'am. A core insertion and first activation with no support staff is tricky enough, but doing it in a foreign location under possible hostile conditions..."  
  
Ritsuko cut her off, "The Nevada site has all of the same facilities that we do, and I have given you step by step directions. Just remember to disconnect the S^2 engine before proceeding and you will be just fine."  
  
Misato stood up to leave, "Your carrier takes off in one hour, so if you need to gather any personally effects or say goodbye to anyone, now would be the time... of course, you can't tell anyone where you are going..."  
  
The last comment was directed towards Hikari, who looked rather downcast at the news, "Then I just have one person to talk to."  
  
***  
  
  
Hikari sat by Touji's bed, listening to the quiet hum of the life monitoring systems. The doctors had told her (after she had been confirmed as a pilot) that Touji was not dead, or even brain dead for that matter. The problem seemed to be that his mind could not reconcile the shock of being told by the EVA system that it was dead. Essentially, his brain had gone into hibernation to protect itself. They told her he may wake someday, but he would need to decide for himself that he was alive.  
  
She spoke softly, "Touji? I have to go away for a few days... to America. I have to go get something that was lost and-" She hesitated, realizing that she had not told him that she was a pilot yet. It occurred to her that she didn't want him to know, but at the same time she knew that he might not wake - or she might not return.  
  
She clenched her fists in her lap, gathering her courage, "Touji, I've... I've become an EVA pilot..." Of course, Touji had no response. She went on, "I wanted to tell you, but I never felt right, now I know I might not have another chance. I'm going to America to get the Evangelion that will be mine... and I might not come back. It's going to be dangerous, Touji."  
  
She wiped a tear from the corner of her eye, and stood up, "I hope that you're awake when I get back. I have... things I want to tell you - NEED to tell you... but I won't until I know you can hear me." She leaned over and kissed him gently on the lips, "Goodbye"  
  
She walked quickly out of the room, determined not to look back, and so she missed the sudden rise in Alpha waves on one of the monitors, and the almost imperceptible word Touji uttered, "Hikari?"  
  
  
***  
  
  
Day 17  
  
The carrier pilot's voice came back to the passenger bay, "We are coming in for a landing, please brace yourselves."  
  
Hikari looked out of the window, but all she could see was barren wasteland, "Is this the right place? It looks so... empty."  
  
Kaji also looked out of the window, though looking more for people than at the terrain, "Well, it IS a desert. Are you ready?"  
  
Hikari pulled at the neck of her tan and gray plugsuit, "Ready as I'll ever be, but why couldn't I wear my normal plugsuit? This one is... uncomfortable."  
  
Kaji looked at her, regretting the short amount of time that was spent putting the mission together, and the obvious lack of training the young girl had received. He sighed, "You are wearing an experimental type plugsuit, designed for the possibility that an EVA unit may be damaged and captured or the pilot forced to eject in hostile territory. There are only two like it."  
  
Hikari was stunned, "You mean, they really think that a group of people might try to capture an EVA??"  
  
Kaji shrugged, then smiled - not in a pleasant way, "NERV likes to be prepared for any eventuality. Push the button on the right wrist, and sit still"  
  
Hikari did as she was told, and was amazed to see her hand - and the rest of her - fade into nothing. "Am I invisible?" she said, sounding amazed.  
  
Kaji chuckled, "No, especially since your head is poking out. This is more like a chameleon's blending ability. If someone were to look at you from the side, they would notice the irregularity in the surface of the object you are resting against. As for the head, there is a hood that is built into the neck of the unit. Just pull the tab at the base of your skull, and flip the hood over your head." He paused, "Also, it won't work if you move more than an inch... so if you have to activate it for any reason, stay STILL."  
  
Hikari turned the suit off and was much happier to see the rest of her body become visible. She looked up and saw Kaji smiling again, he spoke with a slight trace of laugher in his voice, "The reason it is so uncomfortable is that it was designed for a male pilot... it has no breast cavities."  
  
Hikari blushed bright red, "I see... could you stop smiling that way, Mr. Kaji? It makes me nervous..."  
***  
  
"What do you mean she's gone? Gone where?!" Misato was doing her best to calm the obviously agitated Fourth Child, and keep him from tearing the I.V. out of his arm.  
  
Misato succeeded in pinning his arms to the bed, "I'm afraid I can't tell you that just now, Touji, it's classified."  
  
Touji stopped struggling for a minute and studied Misato's face, a vague memory of Hikari's voice echoing in his mind. He spoke slowly, looking Misato in the eyes, "You said that Unit 03 was recovered... you made her the pilot, didn't you? Just in case I couldn't or wouldn't... am I right?"  
  
Misato considered the boy for a moment before answering, unconsciously echoing Ritsuko's tactics when dealing with Hikari a few weeks back. Unlike Ritsuko, however, Misato felt bad about it, "Well Touji... I could tell you everything - IF you were a pilot. Then you would need the information..."  
  
Touji, whispered, "That is a cold way to do things, Major Katsuragi."  
  
Misato flinched at the ice in the boy's voice, and at the fact that he had deliberately used her military title rather than her first name, -Even if he stays, he'll never trust me completely...- she thought.  
  
Touji looked away from Misato. After a few minutes he quietly spoke, "When Unit 03 activated, and the angel took it over, I was aware. You know that, don't you? You told me that Shinji refused to pilot again after what happened to me, because he felt responsible," He looked at her again, and she could see tears in the corners of his eyes... but his voice never wavered, "Do you know how it feels, major, to be forced to hurt someone you care for? I felt every blow that landed on Unit 02... I felt Unit 00 pinned under me... and I felt my hands wrap around Unit 01's throat and squeeze. Worst of all, I felt what the angel felt - I could FEEL its satisfaction, its triumph."  
  
He stared up at the ceiling once again, a far off look on his face, "Do you know the last thing I felt when Unit 03's neck broke? For myself, I felt happiness... it was finally over - I wouldn't hurt my friends any more... but from the angel... from it I felt something unexpected. Not the agony of death, not the pain of defeat, no sense of loss at all. It felt content, like it had done its part and someone else would finish the job."  
  
His eyes narrowed and focused on Misato again, and for the first time since she had entered the room she felt as if the side arm she was carrying under her flight jacket would not help her if this young man lost control, "Now you come in here telling me that the one person I've finally realized truly cares for me is gone - and that you won't tell me where she is unless I agree to pilot again? Did you ever, even for one minute, think that I wouldn't?"  
  
Misato blinked in surprise, "Come again? Weren't you just saying that the pain was-"  
  
Touji cut her off, "Yes... the pain was almost unbearable - almost. But the thought of sitting idle while those THINGS try to destroy everything that I love is more unbearable. I'll pilot for you, don't worry about that. Now where is Hikari?"  
  
Misato took a deep breath, "Well, you see..."  
  
***  
  
"Yes, I understand." Kaji pressed the disconnect button on his cell phone and turned to the others.  
  
Hikari looked at him hopefully, "Well, any changes in Touji's condition?"  
  
He shook his head sadly, "Unfortunately no, Katsuragi says he is still the same... I'm sorry." Hikari looked crestfallen, but Kaji went on cheerfully, "Don't worry. Touji is a strong young man, I'm sure he'll be fine in no time. Besides that, the lovely Major just informed me that we are less than one mile from the installation. She says to check in again once we get there, for security purposes."  
  
Maya muttered from the driver's seat, "Thank goodness. With all this wind and sand blowing around, I can't get my bearings."  
  
Kaji offered her a dazzling smile, "I was more distracted by your stunning beauty... now about the dummy plug system, I was wondering if-"  
  
Maya sighed and restarted the jeep they we driving, "Hikari, never trust men that compliment you TOO often..." She glared at Kaji, who looked hurt, "they always want something."  
  
Hikari, whispered, "Touji never compliments me... but I know he has a lot on his mind, and I plan to find a way to make him notice me... because I love him." A stunned look crossed the girl's face, -Is THAT why I'm here? To make him notice me?? No! I'm here to protect the ones I love... and I do love him... I do. God, please make sure he's ok.-  
  
Kaji, who had always been pretty good at cheering up unhappy women looked at her closely and smiled, "I'm sure he's noticed. I've seen the way he looks at you, Hikari. Just watch, when you get back I'm SURE he'll want to spend some time with you"  
  
Hikari looked at the floor, on the verge of tears, "B-But, he doesn't even know I'm there, Mr. Kaji."  
  
"Now you listen to me, young lady!" The vehemence of his voice made her head snap up and her eyes go wide as he went on, "You say you love this boy, right? So prove it! Do you think he would want you to mope around, thinking he'll never get better? Or do you think he would want you to do your duty as an Evangelion pilot, fulfill your mission obligations, and come home safe to him?"  
  
Hikari did not know what to say. Kaji went on in a quieter voice, "Listen. You have to have faith that he will be ok - even if he never wakes up, do you understand? That's part of what love is - it is believing that things will turn out for the best. It's KNOWING deep down inside, that you WILL see him again. It's the only thing that can keep a person going sometimes... believe me, I know."  
  
Hikari smiled at him, wiping the single tear that had fallen off of her cheek, "Thank you. Really."  
  
Kaji smiled and patted her hand. Looking out of the driver's side window, Maya smiled, -Well, maybe he's not THAT bad after all.- A short series of beeps from the GPS in the dashboard wiped the smile off of her face quickly, "We're there, right on time, too. We need to check in."  
  
Kaji and Hikari both jumped out of the jeep and looked at NERV branch 2, "It looks so... desolate... deserted..." she whispered.  
  
Kaji was frowning, "I wish it was, honey, I wish it was..." He was looking at one of the entrances to an ancillary building, and the decaying corpses of the two guards leaning against either side of one of the doors, -They must have tightened security for the installation of the S^2 engine, that building is a food storehouse. Fat lot of good it did them- "Huh?" There was a sound like small rocks bouncing off of metal  
  
Hikari looked up at the sky thoughtfully, "Is it... raining?"  
  
Kaji yelled, "Get DOWN!!!"  
  
"Unh..." Maya gasped.  
  
Kaji pushed Hikari to the ground, behind the jeep. Maya, still behind the vehicle's door, fell backwards into the driver's seat.  
  
Hikari yelled, "What's happening?!?"  
  
Kaji had a gun in his right hand, pointing it towards the front of the jeep. In his left hand was his cell phone, which he was shouting into, "Katsuragi? Do you copy? Misato!? Dammit! If you can hear me, we are under fire and Ibuki's been hit. Damage unknown. Out."  
  
Hikari whispered: "H-Hit?"  
  
Kaji didn't acknowledge her, just kept scanning the rooftops, "There is at least one sniper somewhere on one of the buildings. We need to get Maya into that building over there," He pointed to a squat structure "and see how badly she is hurt. Do you understand?"  
  
Hikari nodded, too scared to speak. Kaji pushed a button on his watch and steel plates slammed down on all the windows of the jeep. Hikari could hear the doors lock (except for the driver's side, which was still open...) Kaji noticed Hikari's stunned look and grinned slightly, "Now you know why the gas mileage is so bad. Ok, when I count to three, I want you to run into that building because it's the only one I know is unlocked. I'll cover you, ok?"  
  
Hikari got up to run, and heard more of the rain sound. Kaji yanked her back to the ground and she felt something whiz past her cheek, whining slightly, "Wait until I count to three, ok?"  
  
The girl looked at him, wide-eyed, "I'm sorry! I'm scared, Mr. Kaji..."  
  
Kaji gave her a quick hug, "I know you are, honey, so am I. I'll be right behind you... I just need to pick up Miss Ibuki. One... two... three!"  
  
Kaji stood up around the end of the jeep and fired four rounds in the direction he had estimated the bullets were coming from as Hikari sprinted to the door and throw herself against it - only to find that it opened the other way, -Great! I'm going to die because I pushed instead of pulling- She almost started laughing hysterically, then pulled herself together and yanked the door open.   
***  
  
"What do you mean, they haven't checked in?!" Misato demanded, standing in the middle of the control center, her arms crossed.  
  
Hyouga replied, "Well, there IS a sandstorm moving in..." He sounded unconvinced  
  
Misato shot him a skeptical look, "Keep monitoring, I have to check on the status of EVAs. If they make contact patch them through to my cell phone." She moved for the door, but hesitated on the threshold, "If they don't make contact by 18:00... proceed with plan N."  
  
Hyouga nodded slowly, "I... I understand." He turned to his console, "This is the Nest calling Falcon 6 and 7. Prepare to execute plan N in one hour, repeat, one hour unless rescind command is issued, over." After a brief crackle of static, two voices answered, "Orders confirmed, Nest, rising to Release Altitude. Over and out." "Nest out." -Come on, Kaji!-  
  
***  
  
17:04  
  
Hikari dashed through the door, but came up short as she found herself fifteen feet from three people trying to get through a large security door on the other side of the room. Two of them were slightly overweight men - one carrying a clipboard and entering codes on the keypad, the other resting his hands on the handle of a large cart that held a glowing container of some sort - the third, a boy around her age. He was wearing a forest green plugsuit with the number 04' printed on the chest. No one moved for several seconds  
  
"Ummm..." Hikari slowly started to back up, then remembered the sniper and froze.  
  
"Who the hell...?" One of the men started to ask, the other one put a hand on his shoulder, "I'll take care of it." He reached under the cart and started to draw something shiny and black.  
  
Hikari found that she could not move. She heard a quiet voice behind her, "Duck."  
  
Hikari dropped to the floor and heard two rapid shots... then a second later... a third -NOOOOOO!!!!!- Her mind screamed. She looked up, and saw that the two technicians had bullet holes in their foreheads, and the young man had one through the 0 on his plug suit. All three were slumped against the wall. The boy, Hikari noticed, looked surprised... and a little sad.   
  
She looked up at Kaji, who had Maya and a small duffel bag slung over his left shoulder and his gun in his right hand. The last traces of cordite wisped up from the barrel, "W-Why? Why did you shoot him?? WHY?!?!?"  
  
Kaji looked down at her, his eyes were cold. He carefully lay Maya down on the ground before answering, his face averted, "I... I couldn't take the risk that he was armed."  
  
Hikari exploded, "BULLSHIT!! He was a kid!! Like ME!!" then covered her mouth, embarrassed that she had yelled at him.  
  
Kaji didn't reply. He leaned over Maya and tore her button up shirt off of her body.  
  
Hikari stared at the proceedings, "What are you doing?"  
  
Kaji removed her pants and her underclothes, leaving her lying naked on the industrial carpeted floor. Hikari could see a small hole in Maya's left side, just below her breast and off to the side. Kaji whispered, "Lucky girl... looks like just two broken ribs and a little flesh damage." He unzipped the bag and removed some medical supplies, taping her wound quickly.  
  
Maya moaned a little bit, but did not open her eyes. Then he pulled out a second plug suit ("Just like Mine... just like...his...", Hikari noticed, still somewhat in shock) and started to pull it on her body. Without turning around Kaji said, "Can you give me a hand?"  
  
Hikari stayed where she was, looking down at the floor, "You... you shot him... just a kid... just..."  
  
Kaji screamed, "SNAP OUT OF IT!" Hikari started, and looked up at him as he went on, "I had to! Do you understand that?? I HAD to!!! If they had gotten to the EVA first, we would have all DIED!"  
  
Hikari whispered, "But he..."  
  
He cut her off, "I KNOW! He was just a kid... but I COULD NOT TAKE THE CHANCE! If he had a gun, and I hesitated, he would have killed me, you, Maya, and then taken the EVA and killed everyone we know. I just couldn't risk it, do you understand that?"   
  
Hikari could no longer meet his eyes, he went on in a quieter voice, "I can see that you don't understand... and there's nothing I can do about that because we don't have much time... but I did what I felt was necessary to do to protect you... and Maya."  
  
He didn't sound entirely sure of himself, and Hikari suddenly felt sorry for the man, -He's... he's right... I don't know if I could have done the same in his shoes - and it may have cost everything- She thought of Touji - I... I have to be strong-   
  
She opened her mouth apologize, but Kaji started speaking quickly before she could say anything, "Now. Maya is hurt, but she should be ok. You need to stay with her and try to wake her up. If anyone comes in, hit the switch on your suit and hers... hopefully they won't see you. If they do..."   
  
He held out a small gun, Hikari held up her hands, "No, I-"  
  
He cut her off, "It's a tazer. I don't think you have had firearms training yet, and I don't think Maya is up to shooting anything right now. If you have to use it, try to aim it at exposed skin, because it will only go through thin fabric, and it's better to not risk it, ok?"  
  
Hikari took it uncertainly, "O-Ok"  
  
Kaji pushed the button on Maya's suit, pressurizing it, "I need to go find the sniper, and take care of things. I need you to wake the young Miss Ibuki here and get to the EVA." Suddenly he drew her close to him, holding her tightly. He whispered, "I'm sorry that you had to be a part of all of this, honey... just remember the people back home that are counting on us, and I'm sure you'll do fine. I believe in you."  
  
He gave her another smile and stood up. He walked slowly to the cart with the glowing container and bowed to it. He spoke softly, "I am sorry, ma'am, for what I must now do... and for your son. I truly apologize." He raised his gun and fired a single round into the container, closing his eyes. There was a small flash, and a barely audile sigh - like autumn wind through dead leaves.  
  
Hikari thought, -Was that a cross rising into the air? No... I must be seeing things-  
  
The container stopped glowing red and turned a dull leaden gray. Kaji sighed, bowing again, and moved for the door. He hesitated with his hand on the knob, "Be sure that you hurry, honey. If I know Katsuragi, we have less than forty-five minutes or so to reestablish contact with her. If we can't, this entire place is going to be bombed so hard that we'll get to see for ourselves if God truly is in his Heaven..." He raised his gun, opened the door, and quickly ducked outside.  
  
***  
  
17:15  
  
Misato was back from the EVA cages, "Any word yet?"  
  
Hyouga looked up at her nervously, "Not yet, but they need to hurry... the birds are off the ground and flying..."  
  
Misato nodded, "I know. They'll make it."  
  
Hyouga turned back to his panel, "I hope you're right..."  
  
***  
  
17:17  
  
Hikari had been trying for several minutes to wake Maya, but had so far only succeeded in eliciting pained groans from the older woman. -I have to get her awake.- she thought, somewhat frantically. She looked at Maya, "Please forgive me for this, Miss Ibuki..." Hikari took a deep breath and pushed on the spot the bullet had struck.  
  
Maya screamed in pain, "ARRRGGHHH!" Her eyes flew open and she sat up, looking around, "Where am I? Oooowww.... Why does my chest hurt?"  
  
Hikari threw her arms around her, "Oh, thank God you're awake. You got shot, Miss Ibuki. Mr. Kaji bandaged you and went to find the sniper..." She paused, looking at the floor, "and he killed those people over there."  
  
Maya looked at where Hikari's trembling finger pointed, her eyes going wide. When she spoke, her voice was shaky but professional, "I see. They were most likely on their way to secure Unit 04. That must have been the..." She stared at the dead gray container for a moment, then whispered to herself, "Oh Kaji... it must have been hard to kill her..." Seeing Hikari's confusion, she shook her head and went on, "Anyway, we need to get the core essence container from the jeep, then get it to the EVA. It will take us about an hour and a half to insert the it and get the EVA online safely, then... what?"  
  
Hikari was shaking her head, obviously agitated; "We have to do it in forty minutes. ALL of it! Kaji said since we can't get in touch with Major Katsuragi that we have to get out of here in less than an hour, or-"  
  
Maya cut her off, "Scorched Earth, eh? Great. Well, if we can get the core to the EVA in 15 minutes, we MIGHT be able to crash-activate it, bypassing all the safety protocols..."   
  
Hikari looked nervous, "But isn't it in the jeep?"  
  
Maya nodded, getting to her feet and suppressing a grimace of pain, "Yes, but we can't activate the EVA without it, so I'll need to go get it. You stay by the door and open it when I shout. Let's hope Mr. Ryouji is as good as he says. Come on" She started for the door, Hikari following hesitantly.  
  
***  
  
17:18  
  
Kaji was hunting.  
  
-This is bad.- he thought, -too many rooftops.-  
  
The gunfire had not resumed when he dove outside, but Kaji knew that was just because the sniper was trying to get a superior position. -If I can get to that observation tower, I should be able to see the whole compound... of course, he may be already there, in which case...-  
  
He let the thought trail off, and continued the hunt.  
  
***  
  
17:18  
  
She had made it into the jeep without being riddled with bullets, a definite plus in Maya's book -Now I need to get the core essence back into the building - without getting it, or me, shot.-  
  
Catching her breath, and wincing slightly from the pain in her side, she tucked the core Essence container under her arm and placed her other hand on the door handle, "Are you ready, Miss? Yeah? Me neither." She opened the door and ran for the building, shielding the container with her body.  
  
-I think I'm going to make it- she thought. Then she heard the rain-like sound again. She yelled, "DAMMIT!! HIKARI!!!" The door to the building was thrown open, and Maya dove into it, feeling something scratch her arm, and a bright flare in her side. Hikari slammed the door, "Miss Ibuki!! Are you ok???"  
  
Maya was carefully inspecting the container for any damage, ignoring the slight flow of blood coming from her left arm and the throb in her side, "I'm fine. It's just a scrape." She looked up, smiling slightly, "I guess Sempai was right... I AM lucky. Now left's get this core essence to the EVA and get out of here."  
  
***  
  
17:20  
  
From his vantage point, Kaji had made out Maya's desperate run. He had also made out the location of the sniper. -I'm afraid your little game is up, my friend.-  
  
He carefully drew aim and began squeezing the trigger, when he sensed something wasn't quite right. Years of combat training kicked in, and her dropped to the floor - a knife passing through the air he had just vacated and burying itself in the wall. Rolling to the side, he tried to bring his gun up, only to have it kicked out of his hands by a tall, gray-haired man wearing desert fatigues. Kaji continued rolling and came up on his feet, facing the other man.  
  
The man smiled, "You're not bad, spy-guy. Too bad you're not on our side."  
  
Kaji answered his smile with a cheerful one of his own, "Too bad you're a dishonorable back-stabbing bastard. I'm glad we're not on the same side."  
  
The man smiled, shrugging, "All's fair in love and war, my man." The smile fell away from his face, and he became deadly serious, "Besides, I'll bet you didn't give the young mister Jennings too much of a chance now did you?"  
  
Kaji flinched involuntarily -A name to the face... now I can't forget - not that I could have anyway...-  
The man said, "Let's do this."  
  
He started moving in.  
***  
  
17:20  
  
Maya quickly tapped the entry code into the keypad next to the large security door. It slid open quietly, "Let's go. Kaji IS very good, he knew this building connected to activation cage for Unit 04. If he hadn't brought us in here, we would have been ducking more bullets. It's five minutes to the EVA from here... three if we run."  
  
Hikari looked at her and they started to run, "Why is all of the power still on? I thought this place just reappeared."  
  
Maya answered quickly, holding her side, "It has it's own generator, good for sixty days of continuous operation should anything happen to the external power. It will even power the EVA for sixty minutes... although now we'll be lucky if it gives us twenty-five. Once we get the unit active, we'll need to find a portable EVA power supply, like the one used when Units 01 and 02 fought the seventh angel - we have strict orders not to engage the S^2 engine... or we may end up like all the people here."  
  
Hikari nodded, grimacing, and they kept running  
  
***  
  
17:21  
  
Kaji knew he was in trouble. The man he was facing off against was good, and worse, he was using a style that Kaji had not seen before. His body was tilted slightly to the side, making him a smaller target, and his arms were crossed in an X shape in front of his body, lending strength to his hits. In addition to his style, the man had speed.  
  
-Damn!- he thought, -I don't have time to mess around, and he's not as bad I hoped he would be.-  
  
Kaji dodged a quick blow from his opponent's crisscrossed hands, and tried to counter with a kick. The man stepped back quickly, grinning, "Oh come on! You'll have to do better than that!" He sighed, "I really don't have time for this... gotta go kill your girlfriends, after all."  
  
Kaji knew the man was trying to get him angry so he would make a mistake. He tried a roundhouse kick followed up by two short punches aimed at the man's throat, all of which came up short or were blocked, "Now YOU'LL have to do better than that... did you really think you could bait me so easily?"  
  
The man stepped back and uncrossed his arms, sinking into the familiar Karate stance. He bowed slightly, "My apologies, sir, I mistook you for simple riff-raff. Now I see that you are of a better class, so you deserve an honorable fight." He dropped his arms to his sides, and Kaji was surprised to see a knife fall from each hand, -I never even saw them...- He matched the man's stance and returned the bow, "I will remember you for this, sir."  
  
The man smiled slightly, "I don't think so."  
  
They began to fight for real.  
***  
  
17:25  
  
Maya and Hikari stumble-ran into the center of the base, the Evangelion cage. Maya had one arm around Hikari's neck, a trickle of blood ran from the corner of her mouth, "Lung's... definitely... punctured..." She gasped, pressing her hand to her left side, "We have to... hurry."  
  
Hikari looked at Maya with concern, "Maybe we should stop and re-"  
  
Maya cut her off raggedly, "No time. Major Katsuragi... will... fulfill her... duty...." She looked at the container Hikari was holding in the hand not supporting her, "and we... have to get that... into the EVA in the... next..." She trailed off and took a deep breath, wincing in pain. When she went on, her voice was a little more stable, "few minutes or we won't... have time to activate." She looked upwards. Hikari followed the line of her vision, and drew a sharp breath. Above them, secured to the wall with restraining bolts, was the hulking silver-gray shape of Evangelion Unit 04.  
  
***  
  
17:26  
  
Kaji knew it was going to end soon. Both of them were bloody and breathing hard from the exertion... and he was losing. He launched a series of kicks and punches, forcing the man back towards the door. "Not bad..." the man said admiringly, "not bad at all. My turn."  
  
The man started his own form, flowing from kick to punch to chop almost faster than Kaji could follow. Kaji flipped backwards twice, grabbing the knife that had almost killed him from the wall in his right hand, his left tucked snug against his body. He swung around, bringing the knife in a steep arc down at the man's face.  
  
^KTING^ The sound of metal on metal echoed through the room, as his knife impacted the other man's - picked up, apparently, when he pursued Kaji across the room. The man smiled and reached behind him, breathing hard. Kaji could hear the sound of steel on fabric, "Dirty pool..." the man said, tasting his victory, "That's just not playing fai-"  
  
Kaji's left hand flashed out, burying the other knife (that he had retrieved on his first flip), in the man's chest. The man's eyes went wide and he started to slump forward, the smile replaced by a look of utmost surprise. Kaji caught him before he could fall, and laid him gently on the floor. He whispered, "All's fair, right?"  
  
He closed the man's eyes gently, and crossed his arms over his chest. "I'm sorry I don't have the time for a proper burial, my friend... but I'm afraid I have unfinished business..." He got to his feet and walked over to where his gun had fallen. Looking quickly out the window, he could see that the sniper had not moved.  
  
He thought, -Poor tactics, my friend. Though you've found a good spot, you should always stay on the move... so something like this doesn't happen...- He carefully aimed his pistol, and squeezed the trigger.  
  
***  
  
17:30  
  
Maya and Hikari had managed to get to the gantry in front of the EVA. Maya was panting slightly, and Hikari could see more blood starting to seep from the corner of her mouth, but she said nothing. Maya panted, "We have to... hurry. Got to get... the Essence into the... core..."  
  
She let go of Hikari and limped to the control, keying in the command to have the crane remove the entry plug. The EVA's head tilted forward as the plug rotated outwards and the crane gently clamped on to it, pulling it from the giant beast's neck. Maya frowned and took the container from Hikari, "This is going to take me a few minutes, you stay here." She walked around the gantry to the side of the EVA, and pushed a button on the safety rail. A small walkway extended to the entry plug socket.  
  
Maya turned to Hikari, "Once this is in, we'll need to insert you as fast as possible, so go sit in the entry plug." She pointed to the plug, which had opened as part of the removal sequence, "I'll close the hatch and charge the LCL, you just keep your eyes open for any more... intruders. It should be about 10 minutes."  
  
Hikari looked at the watch mounted in the back of plugsuits hand. She licked her lips, "That only leaves twenty minutes... will that be enough time, Miss Ibuki?"  
  
Maya started her way carefully across the narrow walkway, cradling the essence container against her chest. Trying to sound reassuring, she said, "Sure... should be plenty." -Of course,- she thought, -activating it doesn't mean we'll be able to get in touch with NERV...- She tried to banish the negative thoughts and climbed into the EVA.  
  
***  
  
17:36  
  
Kaji ran quietly through the deserted base. The fight had been over for almost ten minutes, and Kaji was getting nervous. -It has to be here somewhere!- he thought furiously. So far he had checked all the highest points in the base, -I KNOW there's a jammer somewhere around here, there has to be one! But I don't have any more time to search.-   
  
After seven minutes of fruitless searching, he had given up and started running for the EVA cage. Being in better shape than the two girls (and not being shot) he covered the distance in less time than they had. He slowed as he entered the cage, -Something's wrong... where are they?-   
  
He looked around the cage. The EVA's head was tilted forward and the entry plug was off to the side and open, but he saw no sign of either girl. He tightened his grip on his pistol and walked slowly towards the walkway leading to the EVA's neck.  
  
Combat training had saved him from the knife, but he was not quite fast enough to dodge the two prongs that suddenly shot from the entry plug and buried themselves in his chest, "What the...?" He was rudely cut off as electricity surged through his body, shutting down his nervous system and dropping him to the floor like a sack of rice.  
  
"I got him!" Hikari's voice came from the plug, as her head appeared. Maya didn't say anything, still occupied with the essence insertion. The rest of Hikari's body faded into view as she hit the button on her wrist. She jumped out of the entry plug and approached the still form slowly, tazer at the ready.  
  
"Oh no," she said quietly, her elation falling away, "Miss Ibuki? I just shot Mr. Kaji..."  
  
A moment later Maya's head poked out over the rim of the EVA's plug entry, she looked at Kaji then back at Hikari, "Did... you... kill him?"  
  
Hikari was horrified, "No! I just... tazed him."  
  
Maya looked from the girl back to the prone form on the gantry and shrugged, instantly regretting it as more pain flooded from her wound, "He'll live then. Get... back into... the plug, time is... running out." She slid back down and continued to work.  
  
Hikari bit her bottom lip, "I'm, ummn, sorry Mr. Kaji." She got back into the plug and waited.  
  
***  
  
17:42  
  
Misato was pacing central dogma, playing with her cross, -This is bad,- she thought, -I should have insisted on going with them, Hikari's just a kid, and Maya's not trained for this.- "Any word?"  
  
Hyouga looked up at her, "Not since 30 seconds ago, when you asked last."  
  
She sighed, "I'm sorry... I just... I don't know what to do. I can't send anyone after them, they'd never get there in time... and I can't let anyone else get the EVA." She slammed her fist into her palm, "Call off the strike!"  
  
Hyouga blinked at her, "Ma'am?!"  
  
She put her hands on the sides of her head, "Never mind!! Arrrghhh!!! I'll... I'll be in the EVA cages..." She stalked off angrily. - I HATE being powerless!!-   
  
***  
  
17:46  
  
Maya climbed out of the EVA and wiped the sweat off of her brow, "There, we're ready to go." She looked at Hikari, who was staring fixedly on her watch, "How much time?"  
  
Hikari shook her head, "Fourteen minutes!"  
  
Maya nodded grimly, "Ok." She walked quickly over to the entry plug, ignoring the pain in her side and lung, "In you go."  
  
Hikari smiled nervously, "I..."  
  
Maya paused, her hand on the control panel of the plug, "What is it, Hikari?"  
  
Hikari cleared her throat and said quietly, "Thank you, Miss Ibuki..."  
  
Maya looked confused, "For what?"  
  
Hikari met her eyes, thinking of how Maya wouldn't rest or stop, even though she was obviously in agony, "For showing me how to be brave..."  
  
Maya smiled and said quietly, "I think you already knew how." She push close button, and the hatch cut off further conversation.  
  
Maya went to the console and started the entry process. "Filling and charging LCL." She said quietly to herself, checking off the steps to activation.  
  
***  
17:55  
  
The pilot of Falcon 7 radioed Falcon 6, "Looks like there's no flak. Let's begin approach."  
  
Falcon 6 radioed back, "Roger that. Let's make this delivery and go home. I'm starving..."  
  
The two planes began to descend. An N^2 bomb clearly visible on each wing.  
  
**  
  
17:56  
  
Maya was sweating, "Entry complete and connection is at stage 2. Going to stage 3. Approaching absolute borderline." She shivered slightly, remembering Unit 03's rampage.  
  
Hikari saw the walls of the plug flash from green to veined red to blue, and every other color in the spectrum, before flashing once more... and she was looking down at Maya. -It's different,- she thought as she felt the connection to Unit 04 become fully active, -it's different than the test plug. It's more... complete.- Maya was talking to her, so she focused her attention on her.  
  
"We're up and running!" Maya looked proud of herself.  
  
Hikari smiled, "What about Mister Kaji?"  
  
Maya looked down at his still-prone form, "He's still sleeping like a baby. See if you can establish connection with NERV, we're almost out of time."  
  
Hikari keyed her long range communications to life, "NERV, come in please."  
  
She waited tensely.  
  
***  
  
17:58  
  
Misato called Central Dogma from the Evangelion cage, "Order the release," she said in a monotone. She looked up at Unit 01, a tear running down her cheek as she whispered, "I'm sorry Shinji..."  
  
***  
  
17:58  
  
Hikari's panicked voice came over the speakers in the cage, "It's not working! My sensor's show some sort of interference coming from just outside the base."  
  
Maya thought quickly, then spoke in a tired voice, "There's no way you can get there and disable it before it's too late," She looked up at Unit 04's face, "but Unit 04 can survive the blast. You'll be ok."  
  
Hikari was shocked, "B-But what about you and Mister Kaji?"  
  
Maya looked away from Unit 04 and shook her head sadly.  
  
***  
  
17:59  
  
The two planes streaked in low, hugging the ground tightly. If someone had been on the wings when the clock rolled over to 18:00, they would have heard a soft click as the bombs detached and began their graceful, deadly descent. The pilot of Falcon 7 whispered quietly, "Hail Mary, mother of grace..."  
  
***  
  
18:00  
  
Hikari's systems began to go wild. "Warning," a soft female voice whispered to her, "non-nuclear type explosive device incoming. Time to impact: sixty seconds. Recommend immediate evacuation to avoid damage to this unit." A timer appeared in the lower right hand corner of her field of vision, and the light in the entry plug changing to red accompanied the voice. "No!!" Hikari cried out in frustration.  
  
Maya kneeled down and put her arms around Kaji, whispering quietly, "I know... I know that you belong to the Major... but I don't want to be alone when I die, so forgive me, ok?" She closed her eyes.  
  
Hikari looked from Maya to the timer, which now read thirty-five seconds. "No." she whispered, "No, I won't let it end this way for them!" She willed the Evangelion into motion.  
  
Maya looked up, surprised, as the silver EVA started to tear it's way out of the bindings, "Hikari what are you doing?"  
  
Hikari didn't reply, just shot a look at the timer (twenty-five seconds) and had the EVA cover Maya and Kaji with both hands. "Hikari? This won't save us... we-" Hikari switched off the external speakers and spoke quietly, "Mother? In your letter you said that you had to go... that it was the best for me - for everyone, if you went away."  
  
A tear slid down her cheek, as the timer reached thirteen, "You also said to call for you and you would be there if I was ever in danger. Well, I am, mama... I need your help, wherever you are... help me if you can." The clock reached four as she whispered, "AT field, full spread."  
  
The air around Unit 04 shimmered and seemed to solidify.  
  
***  
  
In Central Dogma, Hyouga shouted, "AT field detected at NERV branch two! It's..." His voice trailed off as the sensor's registered the impact of four N^2 mines at the same location.  
  
***  
  
Hikari felt like she was in Hell. The explosions rocked the EVA viciously, but she willed it to remain in place, "Mother, please... please help me..." Though she would not know until much later, her mother   
  
Maya looked up at the EVA's hands, and the Octagonal shape of the AT field surrounding them, "Amazing... the pattern is... different somehow..." She gasped and closed her eyes as she felt the gantry starting to give way.  
  
"NO!" Hikari shouted as the gantry all around Maya and Kaji was vaporized, and they began to fall. Quick as thought, she flipped the left hand over and softly caught them before they had fallen five feet.  
  
The explosion was starting to fade, but Hikari held the AT field tightly... and her two superiors gently. She yelled, hoping they might be able to hear her, "Hang on!!" -Just hang on...-  
  
***  
  
Misato was greeted with total chaos as she ran into Central Dogma, "Report!!" she yelled anxiously.  
  
Hyouga answered without looking up from his post, "The N^2 bombs were all successfully delivered, but three seconds before impact an AT field was detected at the location."  
  
Misato looked hopeful, "What was the pattern analysis?"  
  
Hyouga looked up at her uncertainly, "It was indeterminable."  
  
She looked at him questioningly, "What do you mean?"  
  
He looked more confused, "Well, the Magi reported a standard Evangelion AT field deployment, but there was something else as well... almost as if two fields were in place. The other field could not be analyzed."  
  
Misato had no reply for that, but she smiled as inspiration on another matter hit her, "I'll be back in one minute!!"  
  
***  
  
As the firestorm subsided, Hikari opened the EVA's hands gingerly, like a child after catching her first firefly. She sighed in relief as she saw that they were both breathing, though unconscious. She opened a communications channel, "Major Katsuragi?"  
  
After a second of silence a quiet voice replied, "Hikari?"  
  
Her breath caught in her throat, and her eyes went wide, "T-Touji?"  
  
"The one and only. How are you holding up, babe? I hear you've visiting the States." He asked, with a slight smile in his voice. She smiled and started to speak when he went on in a more serious voice, "Hikari? There's something I need to tell you."  
  
Her mouth went dry, -Is something wrong? Oh God! I hope Kimiko is ok!- "W-What is it, Touji?" Her voice cracked slightly.  
  
He spoke hesitantly, "I know that... this isn't the most ideal place. And I know you've been through a lot... but I need to know something."  
  
Hikari tried to think of what he was talking about, -Could he? No! he wouldn't!-  
  
Of course, he would... and he did, "Hikari, will you be my girlfriend? Because... I love you, Hikari."  
  
Her heart did summersaults in her chest, "Will I... ? You love...?"  
  
He went on hastily, "You don't have to answer right now, but-"  
  
She cut him off smoothly, using her best Class rep tone, "Why Mister Suzuhara! How dare you think..."  
  
He apologized, quickly, "I'm sorry, I just thought... since you offered to make me lunch... and I do... I..."  
  
She waited for him to trail off, then smiled and spoke briskly, "Why Touji Suzuhara! In all my years I never thought I would hear such a confession! And right in the command center! With everyone listening, too!"  
  
She listened to him babble more incoherent apologies, before cutting him off again, "And what's more," she went on in a softer voice, "I'm amazed that you would have to ask. Of course I will... I love you too, Touji."  
  
She smiled at his silence, "Now. We can discuss this when I get back, Pilot Suzuhara, my power cells are three and half minutes from being depleted and I have two wounded officers that need attention. I need to see if a power supply survived and double time it back to the transport."  
  
His happy voice came back to her, "Yes Ma'am! I'll be waiting when you get here..."  
  
She smiled and whispered, "I know you will..."   
  
In her mind she offered silent thanks to her mother, though she would not find out until much later just how close her mother really was that day...  
  
***  
  
Day Thirty-three  
  
"What good is all of your technological bullshit if you can't bring back one little life? Give me back my Shinji! GIVE HIM BACK!!!" Asuka was on the floor, holding Shinji's empty plugsuit in her hands and crying.  
  
Ritsuko stared at the girl, amazed. When the experiment had begun several hours ago, she had been surprised by Asuka's vehement insistence to be present, -I... I knew she had some kind of relationship with him, but I never knew her feelings were this strong!!- she thought with some surprise.  
  
Her attention was distracted by a wet smacking sound. She turned her head to see Shinji's body lying on the gantry next to Unit 01's entry plug, her gasp alerted the distraught Second Child, who immediately ran to Shinji and threw her arms around him, sobbing hysterically and repeating his name over and over again.  
  
Misato wiped a tear from the corner of her eye and sniffed quietly, "Good job Ritsuko."  
  
Ritsuko just stared at Asuka, who was starting to get herself under control, "I don't think it was me... I think it was you. You and her."  
  
***  
Shinji awoke slowly, a vague dream of his mother dissipating as his eyes crept open. -Is someone...singing?- he thought. His eyes opened all the way, and he was so stunned by what he saw that he could not speak for several minutes.  
  
Asuka was asleep with her head and arms resting on his bed, obviously exhausted - Rei was stroking Asuka's hair and singing quietly. She became aware of Shinji's gaze and stopped singing, though she kept stroking Asuka's hair gently. "Hello, Pilot Ikari."  
  
"Why?" Shinji's voice came out as a hoarse whisper, he cleared his throat and tried again with slightly better results, "Why are you doing that, Ayanami?"  
  
Rei considered Asuka for a moment before replying, "It felt... correct."  
  
Shinji licked his lips and decided to press her a little, "What do you mean?"  
  
Rei looked slightly surprised (whither it was because she was unsure or because he had pursued the issue, Shinji was not exactly certain). She stared at him for a moment, her hands never stopping, before responding quietly, "Pilot Souryu has been extremely distraught for the past month due to your physical body being diffused into Evangelion Unit 01."  
  
-Was it that long??- Shinji thought, amazed, -Oh, Asuka...-  
  
Rei went on in the same methodical tone, ignoring Shinji's steadily dropping jaw, "In addition to this, approximately two weeks ago Evangelion Unit 04 was retrieved and Hikari Horaki was assigned as it's designated pilot. Also, Evangelion Unit 03 was recovered and Pilot Suzuhara awakened from his comatose state to resume his duties as the pilot. Suzuhara and Horaki are now a 'couple.' The stress of having you gone, coupled with her best friend becoming a pilot was a lot for Pilot Souryu to handle. She wept a lot."  
  
Shinji looked into Rei's crimson eyes for a moment, then down at Asuka's sleeping form, -I'm so sorry to cause you pain, Asuka...-  
  
Rei went on, "Pilot Souryu spent most of the month in the EVA cages, and she has not left your bedside since you were recovered. When I arrived this morning, she was on the verge of collapse. She asked if I would watch over you and I agreed."  
  
She averted her eyes, "While she was sleeping she started to cry... asking for her mother, and for you." Now she looked uncertain, "I... felt that I should do something to comfort her. This felt right." She stared at Shinji for a moment longer, apparently waiting for him to ask her more questions.  
  
When he did not, she resumed singing softly.  
  
Shinji didn't interrupt her...  
  
  
To be continued  
Omake  
  
  
From the scene where Kaji is explaining the chameleon plugsuits:  
  
"The reason it is so uncomfortable is that it was designed for a male pilot... it has no breast cavities." Kaji explained patiently.  
  
Hikari blushed bright red  
  
Kaji smiled and went on, "Of course, that shouldn't be a problem for you, since you're not that well endowed..." He ignored her look of stunned disbelief mingled with anger, and glanced over at Maya, "but Miss Ibuki here is pretty much flat as a board, and you're still growing, so maybe there's still hope for you."  
  
Maya looked up from the laptop she had been diligently tapping on with a look very similar to Hikari's on her face. Kaji sighed, "I hope that you DO get bigger breasts in the future, because you certainly can't rely on your personality to get you by - because it sucks. Maya has the same problem, but I think that comes from her staying a virgin so long. Maybe I could help the both of yo- HEY, what are you doinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggg......?"  
  
As he fell several thousand feet, Kaji thought about his error in judgment  
  
  
  
From the scene where Maya, Kaji, and Hikari are approaching NERV's 2nd branch in the US  
  
Maya sighed and restarted the jeep they we driving, "Hikari, never trust men that compliment you TOO often..." She glared at Kaji, who looked hurt, "they always want something."  
  
Kaji smiled and winked at her, "Oh, Come on. You weren't complaining last night!"  
  
She shot him a withering glance, and spoke in an icy tone, "If you ever want to experience that again, you'd be wise to remember your 'lesson'"  
  
Kaji paled as the smile fell from his face. He looked at the floor as he spoke, "Yes, Mistress..."  
  
Hikari looked nervously from one to the other, and decided it would be in her best interest to say nothing...  
  
  
Author's notes: This part took me a long time to write and is so far the longest, but I enjoyed it quite a bit (especially the mental image of Hikari running full tilt into a closed door). I know that others have done Hikari as a pilot, but I have not seen anyone do that, unit 04, unit 03, AND Touji all at once - plus an Asuka/Shinji romance - so I thought I would. In case you hadn't noticed, I like a good happy ending, so expect that to be an overall theme in the entire series (I'm trying not to be TOO sappy). Yes, I know that Rei was a little talky at the end, but I thought that if Shinji pushed her she would give him a full run down of everything that had happened. What about her comforting Asuka? If you think about what Rei truly is, it makes perfect sense, though I doubt that she would have tried it while Asuka was awake...  
  
Thanks to Ryoma once again for pre-reading and pointing out a couple continuity problems (which I hope I corrected satisfactorily).  
  
Feedback is always welcome at Random1377@yahoo.com.  
  



	7. Sing soft, sing sad

Disclaimer: Gainax owns Evangelion, I do not. If you are still unclear on that fact after six chapters of this story, (and six disclaimers) I don't know what to tell you... this is as plain as I can put it. Also, if any Gainax people are reading this (unlikely, I know) please don't sue me... I'm poor, and I'm not profiting from this fiction in any way. Episode 21 is mostly a flashback episode, so instead of re-treading it, I'll let you go watch it and instead give you this piece of character/relationship development. . (Note: I will still have the part with Fuyutsuki and Kaji, as it is present day, but it won't be very prominent). Fair Warning: there are some hints of lemon in this story, but due to the romantic nature I felt they were necessary... and there's nothing TOO graphic.  
  
Part 7  
  
Sing soft, sing sad  
(Episode 21)  
By Random1377  
  
"Shinji? Will you play your cello for me?" Asuka asked quietly, one rainy evening. It had been two weeks since he had been recovered from Unit 01, and Shinji had been only too happy to pick up their relationship where it had left off (afraid, at first, that so much time might have cooled her feelings for him). Asuka, it seemed, felt much the same way - and a lot more so, as she never left his side for more than a few minutes at a time.  
  
Shinji looked down at the top of her head - free, now, of the formerly ever-present A-10 connectors - and asked, "Right now?" They were lying together on his bed, her head resting on his chest, enjoying the soft sound the rain made hitting the windows of the apartment. Misato, as usual, was at NERV headquarters doing 'Work' - though what she did there eighteen hours a day, Shinji was unsure, -Maybe Kaji knows...- he had wondered idly one day, though he never got to ask him... Kaji had not been around for a while.  
  
Her fingers traced lazy circles on his stomach, making him shiver slightly, "Yeah... I like to hear you play, and you haven't played since the night we first..." she trailed off.  
  
Shinji could feel himself blushing and finished for her, "Kissed?"  
  
He could feel her smile through his shirt, "Yeah... kissed..."  
  
He smiled too, then frowned, remembering what happened when Asuka had awoken at the side of his bed. Rei had been gone for some hours (Shinji was thankful for that, as he was not sure how Asuka might have reacted had she woken while Rei was stroking her hair and singing to her), and Shinji was lying quietly, trying not to disturb her. She had woken with a start, looking like she did not know where she was, 'Shinji?' she had asked, her voice disbelieving. He had just nodded and held his arms out to her. She had fallen into them, sobbing.  
  
'I thought you were gone forever!' She had been so distraught, holding him so tight he could hardly breath. She told him how she had tried to fight the angel and failed, and how she felt responsible for him being lost because of it. He had just held her and told her it was ok.  
  
Once she got herself more under control, she had told him about getting her period, 'When I... I got it... I cried. I thought you might be gone forever, and I thought that maybe, just maybe, I might be pregnant... and part of you would always be with me. Then it came, and I couldn't stop crying...'   
  
She had started to cry again at the memory, but Shinji just held her close, saying, 'It's ok... I'm here now... it's ok...'  
  
Then they had slowly made love in his hospital bed (Asuka, remembering their promise to Misato, had snuck a condom into the hospital room.). Asuka had cried the entire time, soaking his hospital gown with her tears and begging him over and over again, 'Please don't leave me again... please...' After it was over she had cried herself back to sleep, and Shinji had held her, gently caressing her shoulders until her sobs turned into soft whimpers... and eventually leveled out into the deep even breath of slumber.  
  
Since then, it seemed to Shinji that they had been emotionally closer than ever before. They often sat for hours, saying nothing (as they had been before Asuka had asked him to play), merely enjoying each other's company... but they had not been together that way since the hospital... though Shinji was not exactly sure why, though he was aching with the desire to touch and please her.  
  
She looked up at him, breaking him away from the memories of the recent past, "Will you? It would make me happy."  
  
He leaned down and kissed her gently on the lips, then smiled, "If you can endure the awful screeching sound that I call playing, I will."  
  
She rolled her eyes, "Yeah... you're so bad... whatever." She shook her head as he started to downplay his abilities once more, placing a finger on his lips, "Shhh.... I don't want to hear about how 'bad' you are... I just want to hear you play, ok?"  
  
He nodded and rose from the bed.  
  
  
**  
  
Across town, at the exact moment Shinji's feet hit the carpet, Hikari Horaki's hand hit Touji Suzuhara's face.  
  
"Oww!" He yelled and grabbed his face, "what was that for?"  
  
Hikari crossed her arms over her recently unbuttoned bra and glared at him. They were standing in Hikari's bedroom, and had (up until that moment) been kissing quite passionately. After a moment, her expression softened, "Touji, I told you... I don't want things to go too fast..."  
  
He rubbed his sore cheek, looking indignant, "Hikari, it's been a month since we started dating - and all we've done is kiss! I don't think that's too fast at all."  
  
She looked away from him, "In the old times, people knew each other for years before even going THAT far."  
  
He let his hand fall to his side, "Well, this isn't the old times, and I've known you all my life! How much better do you need to know someone?"  
  
Hikari looked at the ground and spoke softly, "Touji... do you love me?"  
  
He froze. He regarded her warily, then spoke with great care, not wanting to offend the (already upset) girl of his dreams, "Hikari, you know that I do... and that's why I want to be close to you."  
  
She blushed slightly, then she stepped closer to him and put her arms around his waist, resting her head on his shoulder, "Touji... there are other ways to be close besides having sex." She put a finger on his lips when he tried to speak, looking into his eyes, "And I do want to... I just... I want it to be right... ok?"  
  
Touji was trembling. He broke eye contact and spoke in a wavering voice, "It's just that... I want you so much that I..." He took a deep breath and started over, looking her directly in the eyes, "I will wait as long as you want me too, Hikari... because I do love you..."  
  
She smiled and kissed him, "I know... and I love you too. I promise that you won't have to wait too long." She stepped back from him and spoke with a gleam in her eye, and a bright blush on her cheeks, "I'm sorry that I hit you... so to make up for it..." she raised her hands, hesitated, and gently pulled her bra straps down.  
  
Touji found that he could not say anything.  
  
**  
  
Kouzou Fuyutsuki struggled weakly against the handcuffs that held him to the chair. He was sitting alone in a black room, and was unsure of how long he had been there. Suddenly there was sound in the darkness, and faint red light.  
  
SEELE 3: "So, Fuyutsuki, you see now how ineffective your security measures truly are now, yes?"  
  
Fuyutsuki stopped struggling and focussed on the twelve monoliths that had appeared all around him, "What is the meaning of this?" He asked calmly, unwilling to show them his fear.  
  
SEELE 4: "You are not here to ask questions, Kouzou Fuyutsuki, you are here to answer them!"  
  
SEELE 7: "The plan has been altered. The pattern is no longer being followed, and who is to blame?"  
  
SEELE 9: "Tell us what Ikari is planning!"  
  
Fuyutsuki smiled ironically, "Ikari is loath to share his plans with anyone... I'm afraid I know nothing."  
  
SEELE 4: "Do not toy with us! You are his number two, he must confide in SOMEONE, and that someone is logically you."  
  
Fuyutsuki was shaking his head, "Though Ikari does tell me of his current projects, all of which I'm sure you are aware of, he keeps his own counsel when it comes to plans for the future."  
  
SEELE 1: "We can see that you are unwilling at this time to share your knowledge with us. Perhaps a little more time alone in the darkness will change your mind. Remember, Fuyutsuki, we are patient... and we have all the time in the world."  
  
The monoliths vanished, leaving Fuyutsuki alone to ponder their words... and the events of the past.  
  
**  
  
"Is there something specific you want me to play?"  
  
Shinji was sitting at his cello, his bow in hand, and looking up at Asuka (who was leaning against the doorframe) expectantly. She had a slight frown on her face as she spoke, "I don't know really... I just want you to play for me - wait! I know, play along to this tune." After a brief hesitation, she began to sing quietly.  
  
Shinji's eyes widened, -That's the song Rei was singing to her while she slept...- he thought, -did Asuka already know it?-  
  
Asuka trailed off, looking at him with a slight hint of anger, "What? Is my voice THAT bad?!" She crossed her arms and started tapping her foot.  
  
"No! Not at all, I..." he thought quickly, "I was just amazed that your voice is so beautiful... I've never heard you sing before."  
  
She blushed and looked at the floor, "I'm... I'm sorry..."   
  
He spoke quickly, "I... I think I can follow it... but will you sing while I play? I want to hear your voice again."  
  
She looked at him, trying to decide if he was kidding or not. He laid his bow across the strings and said, "Please?" She swallowed and nodded, opening her mouth one more.  
  
**  
  
It was approaching one o'clock in the morning when Touji and Hikari had reached the Suzuhara residence. "Kind of strange, isn't it?" Touji asked idly, "You walking me home? I always thought that was supposed to be a man's job."  
  
Hikari looked at the ground, not saying anything.  
  
"What's the matter, baby?" Touji was looking at her, concern evident on his face, "You've hardly said anything since we left your place. I said I was sorry..."  
  
She looked up at him, and he was surprised to see tears in her eyes. She spoke quickly, obviously wanting to get past whatever was bothering her, "Touji? I... I need to ask you something - and I don't want you to be mad at me, ok?"  
  
He switched the umbrella he was carrying from one hand to the other and placed his right hand on her cheek, "What is it? I won't get mad."  
  
Hikari drew a deep, shuddery breath and launched into an obviously pre-planned monologue, "Touji. Since I've become the pilot of Unit 04, and we've started dating, I've found that I'm capable of doing things and feeling things that I never thought possible, and it's been wonderful... but it's been scary too. I piloted a giant robot through the desert to get help for people that I knew hardly anything about... and I saw people die - one of them my age."  
  
He opened his mouth to say something comforting, but she hurried on, "I've also felt like we've been getting so close, and the love that I have for you is so strong... but tonight I realized that what I want and what you want may not be the same thing." She raised her hand, "PLEASE, let me finish this. I realized that I love you immensely... but I am not ready to have sex before I get married. And the way things are going, that leaves me only one choice..." She took a deep breath, backing a step away from him.  
  
Touji's shoulders slumped, -She's going to break up with me... I'm so STUPID! I shouldn't have pushed her so hard... IDIOT!!!-  
  
He opened his mouth to protest, but the words died unspoken as Hikari sank to one knee in the rain-soaked street. She looked up at him, "Touji Suzuhara. I love you with all of my heart and soul, and you would make me the happiest woman on this Earth if you would be my husband." She reached into her coat pocket and withdrew a simple black velvet box.  
  
For the second time that evening, Touji found that he could not say anything, -This can't be happening - it can't! Is she... is she PROPOSING to me!?!?-  
  
Hikari opened the box to reveal a plain gold band, "It's your size... I know your size..." Suddenly she found she could no longer meet his eyes, "I know... everything about you, Touji. I know what food you like to eat... I know what you like to read... I know what kind of movies you like... I know that you're kind and loving and loyal... everything. I've known you as long as I can remember, and as long as I can remember I've wanted to marry you."  
  
He dropped the umbrella, the rain soaking them both almost instantly. He fell to his knees in front of her and wrapped his arms around her. He whispered quietly into her ear, "Yes, Hikari, I will."  
  
Hikari's tears mingled with his, and both were swept away by the driving rain.  
  
**  
  
When the music had died away, Shinji had looked up to find Asuka wiping tears away from her eyes, 'Thank you, Shinji, that was beautiful.' She had suddenly made a fist and insisted that if they stayed in the apartment any longer she would go crazy. They had thrown on raincoats, grabbed an umbrella, and started walking through the slick streets of Toyko-3.  
  
It was nearly one o'clock in the morning when Asuka quietly spoke, "Shinji?" he looked at her quizzically and said, "Hmm?"   
  
She was holding on to his arm and resting her head on his shoulder, "Why haven't we... why haven't we made love since you got out of the hospital? Don't you want me anymore?" Shinji realized that she was on the brink of tears.  
  
He stopped walking and looked at her, confused, "Of course I still want you! Do you even have to ask me that??"  
  
She didn't looked relieved, and a single tear fell from her right eye, "I don't know... you don't..." she drew an unsteady breath, "you don't seem to want to touch me anymore." A tear from her left eye joined the first.  
  
Shinji stared at her, unbelieving, "Asuka... I want to be with you so bad that it hurts, I-"  
  
She cut him off, the tears coming faster now, and she spoke with some anger in her voice, "Then why? Why won't you sleep with me? Is there someone else?"  
  
Shinji couldn't understand how there could be, as she was with him nearly every waking second, "No!"  
  
Asuka went on as if she had not heard him, "I haven't started anything because you've seemed so distant, like you're always thinking about someone else... and I've been so scared Shinji. Please! Please tell me you still love me! I don't want to lose-"  
  
Shinji dropped the umbrella in the street and pulled her into a fierce embrace, "Yes... yes I still love you! How could you think for one second that I don't?" He pulled away slightly, putting his hands on her shoulders, "It's just..." he trailed off, looking embarrassed.  
  
Her tears had started to abate, and she wiped her eyes, "Just what? Shinji... please tell me."  
  
He looked at the ground and spoke hesitantly, "It's just that... you've always made the first move before..." her eyes grew wide as she realized it was true, "I thought that you just haven't been in the mood, and I didn't want to push you into anything."  
  
She was staring at him, amazed, "You... you didn't want to..." she threw her head back and laughed, ignored the rain, "Oh! Oh that's funny!!"  
  
Shinji couldn't see what was so amusing, and he started to say so when she stopped laughing and wrapped her arms around his waist. She pulled him to her, kissing him fiercely.   
  
"Wow..." was all he could say when she pulled back, her arms still around his waist.   
  
She regarded him intently, "YOU could make the first move sometimes, you know. I wouldn't mind. If I'm not in the mood, I'll tell you."  
  
She kissed him again, harder than before. When they separated, breathing hard, Shinji said, "I don't... I don't suppose you're in the mood now, are you?"  
  
Asuka's eyes glittered, reflecting the glow from the streetlights, "Oh yeah..." She smiled mischievously, "there's a park not too far from here that has some trees... no one would see us..."  
  
Hand in hand, they walked that way...  
  
  
**  
  
The rain beat against Rei's windowpane steadily as the red-eyed pilot stood naked, regarding the city before her. Her nudity did not bother her... in fact it was her preferred state. Only the conventions and rules of man kept her clothed in public. The concept of shame-of-self was as alien to her as was the concept of caring for another... and therein lay her current dilemma.  
  
"Ikari..." she whispered, as she pondered her feelings for the young pilot. That she loved him was undoubted. What puzzled her was the sudden onset of the emotion. She thought back to the fifth angel, and his simple request for her to smile, -No...- she thought, looking up at the leaden sky, -it was not then... then I was simply doing as he requested.-  
  
She could not deny that she felt SOMETHING for him at that point, but it was more akin to gratefulness than love. No, the first time she recognized the emotion for what it was seemed to be around the time she synced with Unit 00 after the cross-synchronization test. Instead of the normal fight for control that she usually experienced when syncing with the huge beast, she had felt calmness. As if the EVA had found something it had long sought and was now content to let her guide it. Her sync rate had also improved as a result.  
  
"What is it?" she mused aloud, "what did you see in his mind?" She recalled the single word that had flashed in her mind as she had synchronized. One word, burned into her memory: prime. She had no idea what it meant in and of itself, but she knew that it was somehow related to her feelings for Shinji... and the feeling of other/self that she got from Unit 00. She fully intended to discover the significance of the word... and the feeling.  
  
In an uncharacteristic show of emotion, Rei clenched her fist, "I will know the meaning..." she whispered fiercely. A bolt of lightning struck the Earth, its flash reflecting in her deep, red eyes long after it was gone, "I WILL!" the thunder that followed close behind whispered of the closeness of the storm...  
  
**  
  
Fuyutsuki woke from the troubled dream he had been having, -This has got to be the most uncomfortable position I've ever slept in... and that includes the time in college when we crammed 10 guys into a phone booth and got locked in.-  
  
Suddenly he became aware of hands at his wrists, undoing the handcuffs that bound him, "Who...?" he began to ask.  
  
"Shhh..." a voice directly behind him whispered, "quietly now, sub-commander. I would hate for anyone to realize you are gone before you are gone, know what I mean?"  
  
Recognizing the voice, Kouzou whispered back, "You know they will kill you for this, don't you?"  
  
Kaji helped the older man to his feet, "I don't care. All I care about is getting closer to the truth." He drew his gun and opened the door. Fuyutsuki blinked in the harsh light as Kaji motioned for him to follow.   
  
  
**  
  
"You did WHAT?!?" Asuka's incredulous voice rang out, causing several students' heads to turn to stare curiously at where she and Hikari were having lunch on the grass. It had taken some convincing on Hikari's part to get Asuka to have lunch with her, -I swear, that excuse about being only KIND of serious with Shinji doesn't fly...- Hikari thought at the time, -it's like THEY'RE the ones who are married...-  
  
Hikari tried to pull her friend back down onto the grass, "Will you be QUIET? No one is supposed to know yet!" Asuka looked around, embarrassed, and sat back down.  
  
After a moment, everyone stopped staring and went back to what they were doing (several of them helped along by the famous Second Child Glare), and Asuka asked quietly, "Why? Why would you marry that... that stooge!? I know you love him, but..."  
  
Hikari smiled and looked at the grass, "Because he's sweet... and gentle... and kind... and-"  
  
Asuka cut her off by making gagging sounds.  
  
Hikari laughed, and then became serious, "Really, Asuka... he's good to me... and I've wanted him to be mine my whole life." She shrugged, and finished simply, "Now he is, and I'm happy."  
  
Asuka found that she could not argue with the serene look on her friend's face, so she asked instead, "How did you do it? You're fourteen, and it was a Sunday night, too!"  
  
Hikari smiled wickedly, "When you want something bad enough, there are ways." Her smiled quickly turned into a blush as she went on, "We had to... to go down to the red-light district. They have an all-night chapel for drunken sailors and prostitutes that want to take them for all that they can. It's a dirty business, but we didn't have much choice... I wanted him to be mine right then."  
  
Asuka frowned, "But how did you convince them to marry the two of you so young?"  
  
Hikari's smiled widened. She pulled out her NERV ID card, "You would be surprised at home many doors this opens - they even gave us the honeymoon suite at no cost - of course we didn't stay... we went to his house...." She giggled slightly.  
  
Asuka nearly fell on her face at the last comment; -She... she's always been so proper... I can't believe she would do this.-  
  
Hikari seemed to read her thoughts. She became serious again, "Asuka... I couldn't wait anymore. I had to know that he was going to be mine - all mine - forever. Can you understand that?"  
  
Asuka turned her head so Hikari could not see her smile, and nodded, -More than you know, Hikari, more than you know.-  
  
When she turned around Hikari said mater-of-factly, "Plus, we didn't want to live in sin..." she paused, smiling as she saw an opportunity to tease her friend, "like you and Shinji."  
  
Asuka jumped to her feet (Hikari had expected this), "How did you kn-" she slapped her hand over her mouth a second too late, realizing she had made a tactical error as Hikari's mouth dropped wide open (as she had NOT expected that).  
  
Hikari fumbled for words, "I... umm... I... how long?" was all she could think to say.  
  
Asuka sank to the ground whispering, "No no no no no..." She put her head in her hands, "I'm gonna get killed for this..." she muttered miserably. She grabbed Hikari's shoulders, shaking the girl desperately, "You have to promise, no, SWEAR, that you won't tell anyone - not even your... husband." Asuka found she had a lot of trouble using that word.  
  
Hikari (still being shaken) managed to get out, "O...K... Asu...ka... I... sw...ear..." she breathed deeply as Asuka finally released her, and smoothed her hair back into place. "I can keep it to myself... but aren't you worried about Shinj-"  
  
She was cut off by a loud voice from across the school yard, "You did WHAT?!?!?" Touji's voice echoed, once again raising students' heads.  
  
Asuka buried her face in her hands.  
  
**  
  
He stood alone, breathing evenly. -I wonder who they'll send for me?- he wondered idly.  
  
When he had returned to his office, he had found a simple note stuck to his monitor, 'The usual place. Make sure you are not followed.'  
  
He leaned back against the wall, feeling the cool breeze created by the fan, "Yeah..." he whispered, "the usual place..." It had only been a week since his last meeting with SEELE's representatives, so he wasn't due for another week, "guess that's the price I pay..." he mused, -Katsuragi... it's all in your hands now...-  
  
The door creaked open, "Hey..." he said, trying to sound calm, "you're late."  
  
She stepped into the light, -Of course...- he thought as she raised the small pistol, -of course it would be her...-  
  
The slug took him high in the chest, crashing through bone and muscle before exiting, spreading a large portion of his life's blood onto the fan behind him. He fell back against the wall, clutching the wound. He met her eyes as she lowered the weapon, its work done, "Well..." he whispered, "at least they sent someone I know..." he coughed, alarmed at the quantity of blood that issued from his mouth.  
  
She shook her head sadly, but her voice was cold, "You should have taken my advice..."  
  
He nodded, the strength leaving his legs, "The advice of a friend, right?" he said with some irony, sliding to the ground.  
  
"For what it's worth," she said, a small touch of sorrow entering her voice, "I AM sorry that it came to this..."  
  
He smiled, feeling his limbs become heavy. With the last of his strength, he said, "Of course... just following orders, right?" he smiled even wider as his eyes slid closed, "You're such a good little soldier... just... just like Rei..."  
  
Enraged, she yelled, "I am NOTHING like her, do you understand?! NOTHING!!!!" Her shouts fell on deaf ears, for he was already gone. "DAMN YOU!!" she screamed, bringing up the pistol and emptying its contents into the still form, pulling the trigger long after the clip had run dry.  
  
She dropped the gun and fell to her knees, "Damn you..." she whispered, burying her head in her hands.  
  
**  
  
Asuka was wakened by the sound of crying.  
  
"Shinji?" She whispered, confused. She raised her head from his chest (her favorite place in the whole world lately), and found that he was sleeping peacefully. Kissing him gently, she carefully rose from their bed and made her way to the door.  
  
Cracking it open she was surprised to see Misato, kneeing in front of the telephone and weeping hysterically. -What should I do?- she thought, agitated, -I... I'm no good with this kind of thing... and I'm just a kid to her...-   
  
Ashamed at her thoughts, she was about to close the door when Misato whispered, "Kaji..." and broke into fresh tears. Making a determined face she stepped out, and approached the older woman carefully, "M-Misato... are... are you ok?" she asked tentatively.  
  
Misato's head whipped around, "As-Asuka..." she said, wiping tears hurriedly from her face, "yeah... I'm... I'm fine... I just..."  
  
-Oh... what now? What now?!?!- Asuka's mind was in turmoil, "Do... do you want to talk to me... about it?" she asked, secretly hoping the other woman would decline her offer, -God... I'm so pathetic...- she thought disgustedly, -she obviously needs someone to talk to!!- She slowly reached out and touched Misato's shoulder, smiling uncertainly, "Really... I... I want to know."  
  
Misato took a shuddery breath, "Actually... I can't tell you..." she looked incredibly sad. She broke eye contact with the redhead, whispering, "but I don't think Kaji will be coming around anymore." She grimaced with barely contained tears.  
  
Asuka came closer, kneeling beside her guardian, "Did... did you have a fight, or something? I..."  
  
Misato smiled at the young girl's innocent attempt to help her, -Asuka... I was wrong about you...- she thought, with some shame, "No... he's been..." she couldn't meet her eyes, "reassigned suddenly." -Permanently- she thought, with infinite sadness.  
  
Asuka looked uncertain, -what would Shinji do??- She asked herself. Inspiration suddenly hit her and she embraced Misato clumsily, nearly knocking the other woman down. "Sorry," she whispered, blushing... but she didn't let go.  
  
Misato didn't know what to do. On the one hand, she wanted to be left alone with her sadness and loss... and on the other hand, she desperately needed someone to comfort her. -I... I never thought... that SHE would... would...- she couldn't continue the thought as her sadness overwhelmed her. She held Asuka tightly, crying on her shoulder.  
  
Asuka stroked the older woman's purple-black hair gently, holding her as she wept bitterly. "It's ok... Misato... it's ok..." she whispered.   
  
Misato let the younger girl comfort her, feeling that - for this one moment at least - she was the child, and Asuka the guardian... and that was alright with her.  
  
To be continued.  
  
  
Author's notes: With this part I tried to illustrate that relationships don't always go as smoothly as planned, especially when communications break down. The part with Asuka and Shinji in the rain was where I really tried to get this message through. The thought of Shinji being used to her making the first move all the time (and therefor doing nothing), and Asuka being afraid she had lost his heart (and therefor doing nothing), seemed to fit very well. All they had to do was talk it over, and neither one quite know how to start (I thought Asuka would be the one to act first, as she is not the type to take things lying down.) As for Hikari's sudden proposal, well... Hikari strikes me as a very proper girl, who would not do anything until she was married. She also strikes me as being very determined, and the type would go to any means to get what she wanted once she had set her mind to it... so I put those two factors together, and now she is Misses Suzuhara ;)  
  
Thanks to grookill for the idea for the last part... good call!  
  
And thanks to Ryoma for Pre-reading... I owe you one... or two... or three...  
  
As ever, feedback is welcome at Random1377@yahoo.com.  
  
  
  
  



	8. Side-Story - Child's play

Disclaimer: Gainax owns Evangelion, not me. This is just a little side story that fits between part 7 and part 8 (episodes 21 and 22) because work on 22 has been slow. Hope you like it  
  
Deviance  
  
Part 7.5  
  
Child's play  
By Random1377  
  
Shinji Ikari carefully edged his purple mecha around the building he was using for cover and looked for his target. Spying the black and white shape, he tightened his grip on his progressive knife and crept closer.   
  
"You're all mine," he whispered with a smile. He reversed his grip and brought the knife over his Unit's head, poised for the strike.   
  
It was only his combat training and reflexes that made him move slightly to the side, saving him from losing his Unit's head as something large and silver collided with him and bore him to the ground.  
  
"No one stabs my husband in the back, Ikari.." Hikari Suzuhara's voice came over the intercom, sounding only half joking, "Now die!" she raised her own blade and prepared to administer the killing stroke, savoring her victory over the Third Child for a second. It was a second too long.  
  
As Shinji groaned in defeat, watching the knife come down, Unit 04's head disappeared in a cloud of blood and shattered steel, "What...?" he said, astonished as the silver beast collapsed on top of his Unit.  
  
Rei Ayanami smiled slightly, chambering another round in the huge rifle, "He shall not be harmed so long as I might defend him." she said quietly under her breath, "Even in training." she began drawing a bead on Unit 03 as it locked hands with Unit 01.  
  
**  
  
"How many kills is that for Rei?" Misato Katsuragi asked, looking at the now headless digital representation of Unit 04 with wonder. A moment later, it vanished and reappeared far across the city to begin its life anew.  
  
"Six," Ritsuko Akagi replied, "not as many as Asuka... but five of them have been defending Shinji." she leaned forward, "Rei," she said into the mic, "you are aware that this is an individual exercise and not a team action, correct?"  
  
"Yes," Rei replied calmly, "I am merely taking shots as they present themselves. That was my order," on the monitor, Unit 03 stumbled backwards, a gaping hole in its chest, "correct?"  
  
Ritsuko sighed, "Seven. I give up," she said to Misato, "she's obviously protecting him, but she manages to make it look like hapstance... It's starting to annoy me."  
  
Misato grinned, "But no one has killed her, have they? She makes a good sniper."  
  
Ritsuko smiled, "That's about to change, look." She pointed at the screen.  
  
**  
  
Asuka Langley Souryu smiled and willed Unit 02's ax up, her eyes intent on the prone Unit 00. "You're good, First Child, but I'm better." she glanced quickly from side to side (she saw what had happened to Unit 04... Of course, observing the kill had allowed her to finally isolate Rei's location) and brought the weapon down in a wicked arc, severing the blue mecha's arm at the shoulder, whispering to herself, "Then the other arm, then the legs, then..."  
  
To her surprise, Unit 00 rolled over and pushed up, jamming its spurting stump towards Unit 02's face, coating its optics with blood. "You little bit-" Asuka began.  
  
She was rudely interrupted as Unit 00 awkwardly brought its rifle around, triggering it point-blank against the red Unit's stomach and cutting it in half.  
  
As she waited to come back to life, Asuka's glare slowly became a smile, "Oh yeah... that'll work..." She grasped the controls, waiting for the world to reappear with a look of satisfied anticipation.  
  
**  
  
Touji looked around the battlefield. "Where is everyone?" he wondered. He had been able to kill Hikari and Shinji a couple times, and even Asuka once (though that had been a stroke of luck, as she had been in the process of killing Shinji at the time.), but it had been three minutes since he had seen anyone.  
  
"You really should watch your back, dear..." his wife's voice came to him.  
  
"Ah crap!" he groaned, trying to wheel his mecha around before it was too late.  
  
As the silver machine crashed down on him, he said, "Damn! Hey, do you LIKE pinning helpless guys under you?"  
  
He looked up into the leering face of Unit 04, imagining that it was smiling, "Why, honey," Hikari answered, "you know I like to be on top." Suddenly, the silver EVA leaned forward and pressed its face to the black one's in a grotesque kiss, "But only with you."  
  
"Eww!" Touji cried, "Just kill me already!"  
  
Hikari smiled, "As my husband requests." She brought her knife up.  
  
"Mission parameters have changed," Misato's voice said a moment before Hikari could strike, "Unit 02 has been possessed by an angel and has captured Unit 01. All Units, assist Unit 01 and terminate Unit 02... do not attempt to save the pilot, she is helping the angels."  
  
Hikari grinned, rising her Unit to its feet and helping her husband's Unit up, "Asuka must have pissed her off big time."  
  
Touji grinned even wider than his wife, "Oh man, I can't wait for this!"  
  
Laughing, they began running towards Unit 02 and 01's location.  
  
**  
  
Asuka was not in a good position. When she had captured Unit 01, it was with the idea that it would bring Rei out of hiding. She had not expected them to turn all of the Units against her... not that she minded, as she considered herself MORE than up to killing them all - but to say she was in league with the angels! That was just LOW!  
  
Eying the two advancing EVAs, she licked her lips and pressed the progressive knife closer to Unit 01's neck, "Shinji... honey... you know that I love you, right?" She risked a look at her objective, gauging the distance.  
  
Shinji sighed, knowing what was coming, "Yes, Asuka... I love you too..."  
  
Asuka smiled at the boy's weary tone, "Just thought you should know..." She willed Unit 02 to draw its vibrating blade down and across Unit 01's throat. As the giant purple mecha convulsed, she pushed it towards the other two Units and dove towards her goal.  
  
As Unit 01 fell, she saw something whiz past Unit 02's face and impact on the building behind her. -Nice try, Wondergirl,- she thought, smiling as finally reached her target.  
  
Unit 03 and Unit 04 advanced quickly, ignoring the downed Unit 01. "Thanks a LOT!" Shinji grumbled as he watched the two others step over his inert machine.  
  
"Where did she go?" Hikari said, searching between all of the buildings. She grabbed a palette gun from a nearby weapons building... failing to notice that two were already missing. Even if she had noticed, it would not have saved her.  
  
Asuka brought her EVA out from behind the building she had been hiding behind. "Looking for something?" she asked casually, leveling the two rifles.  
  
As the two mechas whipped around to face her, she opened fire. It was no secret that Asuka considered herself the best pilot in Project-E, but what many did not know (especially those that saw Unit 01 going berserk) is that she really was. Every round found its target, shredding through both EVAs in a matter of seconds. Asuka tracked them as the fell, making sure that the destruction was complete.  
  
As the weapons clicked dry in her hands, she smiled, "Now for the First..." she whispered, observing the ruined EVAs with a small, satisfied smile.  
  
**  
  
Rei was not happy. She had failed to protect Shinji, and had missed in the clearest shot she had had at avenging him. Though she knew it was only training, she still felt anger at herself for letting him down.  
  
She felt that she had the edge, though, as Asuka was unaware that she had regained her arm. 'This is training for Asuka, too.' Misato had told her as the severed limb reappeared, 'Have to be ready for every eventuality, right?'  
  
She thought briefly as she moved through the city that it was almost cheating, but the image of Unit 01 falling to the ground dispelled any doubts she may have had. The longing for vengeance was not something she had experienced before... but she was not unhappy with the experience.  
  
"Where are you, Souryu?" She asked idly, scanning the area.  
  
She caught movement from the corner of her eye and spun around, triggering her rifle as she went. Property damage and casualties meant nothing as she felt another new feeling sweep through her - bloodlust.  
  
She stopped firing, noting that her breathing was slightly elevated, "Interesting..." she whispered as she moved toward the location she had just leveled, "my pupils are dilating... my pulse-rate is increased... I am... excited..." a rare smiled flitted across her lips, "Now where is the Second Child?"  
  
**  
  
Asuka crawled through the city, "Damn... that was close..." she muttered, "I didn't know she was that fast."  
  
She looked over her shoulder at the building she had been ducking behind when Rei cut loose... or rather, what was left of it.  
  
She smiled, "Getting into it, First Child?" She keyed her com system to life, "Is that the best you can do, Wondergirl?" She taunted.  
  
The response surprised her, "No... I was merely practicing... I will terminate you shortly, Second Child..."  
  
Asuka laughed, "Maybe I was wrong about you... is that, anger in your voice?" Asuka didn't really believe it, after all... Rei WAS pretty emotionless.  
  
She cautiously raised Unit 02 to its feet and looked for Unit 00. Not seeing it she stepped behind a convenient building and drew her knife again, -Come on... come get it!-  
  
Rei's calm reply was the only warning she had, "Yes, Second Child... I am angry..."  
  
Asuka jumped forward as the building exploded into a shower of debris.  
  
"There could have been civilians in there, you know..." Asuka teased, diving behind another building and trying to pinpoint the origin of the gunfire.  
  
"What does an angel care for civilians?" Rei whispered.  
  
"An angel wouldn't," Asuka replied, catching site of the blue mecha peering around a corner, "but I'M the angel!" she tensed, waiting for the right moment, -I don't think she sees me...-  
  
Rei didn't reply.  
  
**  
  
Misato watched the screen carefully, her hands clasped around the back of a chair tightly, "Something is wrong," she said quietly, "isn't it?"  
  
"I don't know..." Ritsuko replied, "Maya, any changes?"  
  
Maya looked at her console, "Rei is up another three points since last check... she's almost at Asuka's level now."  
  
Misato blinked and looked at Ritsuko, "She what?"  
  
"Rei's sync rate has been climbing since Unit 01 was killed by the 'angel'" She looked at Misato, smiling viciously, "I think she took it personally."  
  
-What the hell is going on!?- Misato thought, turning back to the screen.  
  
**  
  
Asuka held her breath, waiting for the other machine to move. When she realized it was also waiting, she let it out and spoke to the other girl again, "What's the problem, First? You want Shinji for yourself?"  
  
Rei's reply made winter seem warm, "You should not harm him, Souryu, he is your beloved, you should protect him at all cost."  
  
Asuka frowned, "It's TRAINING, Wondergirl! And what do you care, you're not his mother."  
  
"No," Rei agreed, "I am not... I am more."  
  
Before Asuka could question the reply, Rei made her move.  
  
Leveling her rifle, Rei squeezed the trigger of her rifle, holding it down and saturating the area that she estimated the redhead to be with molten metal.  
  
As the smoke cleared, Rei narrowed her eyes, hunting for the hopefully shattered form of EVA 02. "Much more..." she whispered to herself.  
  
In her entry plug, Asuka was smiling. In spite of the blue-haired girl's odd comments and deadly shooting, she had made a major miscalculation... she had fired at the wrong location.  
  
"Now," Asuka whispered, "it's over."  
  
She brought Unit 02 up and sprinted it towards the blue mecha, which was facing away from her.  
  
To Rei's credit, she was fast - very fast - as she whirled and brought her weapon up... she just wasn't fast enough. As she approached, Asuka leapt at Unit 00 and activated the seldom-used boosters in her Unit's shoulders, making her jump slightly higher.  
  
Onscreen it was a spectacular sight. Unit 02 came down hard on Unit 00, both feet driving into the blue mecha's chest in a classic 'death-from-above' maneuver. Unit 00's armor buckled and shattered, giving way to the tremendous force Unit 02 generated.  
  
As the two giants crashed to the ground, Asuka screamed and brought her Unit's progressive knife down, burying it in Unit 00's single eye... ensuring that the job was done.  
  
As her Unit went silent, Rei heard Asuka whisper on a private channel, "Don't worry about Shinji, Wondergirl... when it's for real, I WILL protect him. He's MINE!"  
  
The red-eyed girl smiled, "Yes... of course."  
  
And with that, the training was over.  
  
Continued...  
  
Author's notes: sorry about the delay in releasing Deviance 8... hopefully it won't be too much longer. And all you Battletech fans out there? That death-from-above was just for you, baby! :)  
  
Thanks to Ryoma for pre-reading.  
  
Feedback is always welcome at random1377@yahoo.com  
  



	9. Heart of a woman, soul of a child

Disclaimer: Gainax and Evangelion go together like... like... like something that goes together well. In other words, THEY own all rights to it, and I do NOT. Hopefully, they won't have me drawn and quartered. This is part eight of the Deviance storyline, it contains some rough language... it also contains a scene involving a mental rape. If the thought of this offends you, please do not read.  
  
Part 8  
(Episode 22)  
Heart of a woman, soul of a child  
By Random1377  
  
"Ohh!!" Asuka groaned in despair, "Not today!!"  
  
Shinji poked his head around the edge of the door to the room they shared, pulling on his undershirt as he went, "What? What is it?" Though he could not see his love (the bathroom door was shut) the note of unhappiness in her voice drew him like the proverbial moth to the flame.   
  
He hated to see her unhappy.  
  
"I don't wanna go tonight," she said miserably, "can we stay home?"  
  
Shinji frowned, "But I thought you were dying to go to the dance? We've been planning for three weeks!" He also knew that Touji and Hikari would be there... and he liked hanging out with them. For some reason, since they had gotten together going out with a group of people appealed less and less to them both... the double-date concept seemed more intimate somehow - more personal. Not that it was really dating with Touji and Hikari - since they were married... but it was still more fun for some reason.  
  
Her voice was hesitant, "I do... but I..." she trailed off.  
  
Shinji came to stand in front of the door, "What is it, honey?" He secretly thrilled to every time he got to use a term of endearment with her... it helped solidify in his mind the fact that she was his - a fact he often felt must be a dream.  
  
"I..." she finally sighed, knowing she couldn't keep it a secret, "I got my period..." she mumbled, "and I've got cramps... bad."  
  
Shinji wasn't really sure what to say. The last time she had gotten her period, he had not noticed (mostly due to the fact that he was in a liquid form at the time), and before that she had never told him about it. Now he was somewhat at a loss about what to do.  
  
"Umm... could you take some... some aspirin or something?" He slapped his forehead, realizing that he sounded like an uncaring jerk, "Never mind... we can stay home if you want. I'll just call Touji and tell him-"  
  
"No..." she said quietly, "I... I don't want you to have to miss it because of me..." she opened the door, looking down as she stepped by him in her underclothes and into their room.  
  
"It's really ok," he said, following her (and admiring her body as he went), "I don't have to go, we can just hang out and-"  
  
She cut him off again, "No..." she said, pulling on a red slip, "the reason I'm so mad is that I... I wanted to..." she blushed, "I wanted to end the night by... being with you."  
  
Shinji was confused. They had been together almost every night since Touji and Hikari got married. Seeing his confusion, she explained further, "I wanted the night to be perfect, Shinji..." she frowned sadly, "I wanted to have that be the perfect end to the perfect night - the dance... some dinner afterwards... and then you and me..." her voice lowered, "alone... in a hotel where no one could bother us... and we could do what we wanted all night."  
  
She sniffed sadly, and Shinji took her into his arms, "I'm sorry," he whispered, "tell you what..." he pulled back and kissed her softly, "why don't we still do all of that, and then when we go to the hotel we can just talk and kiss and stuff all night... ok?"  
  
"It's not the same," she muttered, "I wanted to-"  
  
"I know..." he cut her off gently, "but we can't. And I still want to be with you any way that I can." He looked at the floor, "We... still could, you know..."  
  
She blanched, "No thanks..." she smiled suddenly, "but thank you for offering... it was very sweet. And I think I will take you up on that offer of talking all night."  
  
He smiled and gave her a quick hug, "Deal. Now let's get dressed, or we're going to be late."  
  
He began to pull away, but she held him fast, "Shinji..." she whispered, leaning closer to him, "let's be a little late, ok?"  
  
As her lips pressed to his, Shinji found he had no arguments.  
  
**  
  
Across town, Hikari and Touji were rushing to get their clothes on also.  
  
"Come on!" Hikari yelled, pulling the zipper on her green dress up, "We're already a half hour late!"  
  
Touji stuck his head around the corner into the bedroom they shared, "And who's fault is that?" He asked her with one eyebrow raised, "Should I tell everyone we were late because my wife wanted to have-"  
  
"Will you just hurry up?" she said quickly... but he could see the blush spreading across her cheeks.  
  
He came up behind where she was sitting in front of the dressing table, "It's ok, you know?" he whispered, kissing her shoulder, "We ARE married..."  
  
Her blush deepened, "I know..." she said, leaning against him with a sigh, "but that doesn't mean I want everyone to know about our sex life..."  
  
He kissed her cheek, "Ok," he said, "I'll keep it to myself..." he grinned mischievously, "if when we get home we can-"  
  
"Go get dressed!" she yelled, turning a deeper shade of red than Touji had ever seen.  
  
As he turned to go back to the bathroom where his suit was hanging, Hikari whispered softly, "You have a deal..."  
  
Touji smiled... it was going to be a great night. Turning away, he missed seeing his wife's pained expression... and the way she pressed her hand to her side.  
  
She shook her head to clear it, -Happening again...- she thought, breathing through the attack. She briefly considered telling Touji about the pains she'd been having for the past three days... but she didn't want to worry him. -I'll talk to doctor Akagi tomorrow,- she thought as the pain vanished as suddenly as it came, -nothing I can do tonight anyway...-  
  
She was sure that she wasn't pregnant... it had only been a couple of weeks since they'd first slept together, and she knew that it would be too early to feel anything. What scared her, no - TERRIFIED her, was the knowledge that her grandmother had died of uterine cancer.  
  
-Please, God...- she prayed silently, looking at the door to the room her husband was in, -I don't think I've asked for too much... but please - PLEASE don't let it be that...- She didn't think it was a selfish prayer...  
  
**  
  
Rei looked at herself critically in the dingy mirror, "It will be acceptable..." she said softly.  
  
She took a final look at the conservative blue gown she had chosen for the dance and nodded in satisfaction before turning off the bathroom light and returning to her apartment's small living/bed room.  
  
Though she did not know much about fashion, she had spent several hours at the shopping complex observing others, and she felt that the gown would be considered 'pretty'.  
  
She looked at the clock over her bed, seeing that it was almost time to leave.  
  
Walking over to the window, she thought about why she was going at all... she was not inclined to dancing, and the music tended to hurt her ears. "I would like to see them dance..." she whispered, as if trying to convince herself.  
  
Lying was never Rei's strong suit, especially to herself, but she tried anyway, "I am NOT going merely to protect Shinji..." she whispered.  
  
A bright flash caught her attention and she looked out the window, "It is raining..." she observed quietly.  
  
Unlike several people she knew of, she did not mind lightning and rain... she actually found them fascinating. So much raw force, arcing down wherever it wanted... DOING whatever it wanted. In an odd way, she envied the lightning. IT didn't have to do as it was told... IT didn't wonder why it was here... IT didn't have a dark purpose to fulfill... it just - WAS.  
  
Suddenly she became aware of an odd... tickle at the back of her mind. A sensation she knew all too well. She looked out the window, frowning deeply, and took the gown off... there would be no dancing tonight.  
  
She was already pulling on her spare plugsuit as the angel alarm began sounding.  
  
**  
  
"Why are we waiting around, Misato?" A frustrated voice came over the speakers in the command room.  
  
Asuka was fuming. They had been sitting in the catapults for twenty minutes... just waiting. It was bad enough that they were in the process of missing the dance, but she CERTAINLY didn't want to spend the whole NIGHT doing this... she wanted to be alone with her love.  
  
And besides... her tummy hurt.  
  
"Rei is on her way," Misato said, ignoring a chuckle from someone on the deck at her unconscious rhyme -Childish...- she thought angrily, -even the actual CHILDREN didn't laugh at that!- "She's in the base," Misato went on, looking around to see who had laughed, "but she won't be to her EVA for a couple minutes, and Commander Ikari wants her to be gunner on this mission."  
  
So far, the snowflake-like angel had not moved... it just float calmly in orbit directly overhead. The plan was to shoot it down with a long-range rifle before it had the chance to get close enough to attack.  
  
Asuka rolled her eyes, "Damnit! I don't have time to wait around for her! I'll take point." She launched the red Evangelion to the surface, ignoring Misato's command to return.  
  
Misato growled in frustration, "Touji, take up a covering position with the positron rifle behind Asuka. Hikari, stand ready."  
  
"I am here now..." Rei's soft voice came over the speakers.  
  
"Stand fast in the launch bay with Hikari." Misato said, privately relieved that the blue-haired girl had finally shown up, "I want you both ready to launch in a second if that thing comes closer."  
  
"Misato," Shinji's voice came to her, sounding confused, "what about me?"  
  
Gendou answered instead, "Unit 01 is not to be taken out of stasis unless there is an emergency that the other four Units cannot handle." To Maya he said, "Disengage his nerve connections, I will not have another incident like the one following the Thirteenth."  
  
As his connection with the EVA went down, Shinji bowed his head, frowning, -Father, if she gets hurt and I can't do anything about it, I WILL find a way to get to you... I swear that.-  
  
**  
  
Unit 02 stood still in the driving rain, waiting as Unit 03 positioned the huge type I positron rifle. She knew she would be firing the more advanced type II, but she still would have felt better if it was in her hands already... she currently felt defenseless - and did NOT like it.  
  
The red mecha's hand flexed as Asuka's did, "Come on!" she said impatiently, "Send me the gun! Stooge number two here will still be setting up after I've killed the damn thing!"  
  
The command room at large ignored her, "Come on, honey..." Shinji's voice came to her gently, calming her somewhat, "you don't have to do this."  
  
She frowned, "Yes I do! I took point and I-"  
  
He cut her off, smiling as his image appeared on her onscreen display, "I didn't mean that... I meant you don't have to pretend you're impatient... you don't have to show off, Asuka... everyone knows you're the best." He paused, offering her a fake frown, "Besides, who are you trying to impress? *I* think you're incredible... are you trying to pick up another guy on the side?"  
  
She smiled brightly, "Well, Aoba is pretty cute... I could always-" she laughed as his frown became serious.  
  
"It's not funny..." he mumbled.  
  
This caused her to laugh harder, -So unsure...- she thought, finally bringing herself under control, "I'm sorry... you know I'm just kidding." She looked at his face on the small screen thoughtfully, "You know..." she whispered, leaning closer to the screen, "there are... other things we could try tonight..."  
  
Shinji blushed a deep red as Asuka's tongue ran over her lips suggestively, "A-Asuka!" he stammered.  
  
"What's the matter, Third Child," she teased, "scared?"  
  
They never got the chance to finish the conversation as Misato's voice came over the general band, "Touji's ready, Asuka... are you? It's not too late to let Rei take the position, she DOES have higher marksmanship scores than you..."  
  
Asuka frowned deeply at the dig, "No, thank you for your 'thoughtfulness' though, I appreciate it after all we talked about the other week..."  
  
Misato flushed, remembering how Asuka had comforted her after Kaji's death, "Sorry..." she said softly, "the rifle is on its way, but it may be a while before the angel is within range, so it's going to be a fairly boring mission."  
  
As the rifle came out of the ground, Misato switched to a private channel, "I'm sorry, Asuka... you know that... that I have the same... that it's..."  
  
Asuka sighed, taking the rifle in Unit 02's hands and fastening it to the shoulder for better support, "I know Misato..." she said, rubbing her stomach as a small cramp hit her, "it happens if women live together too long..."  
  
Her guardian nodded, "Regardless... that was a cheap shot, and I'm sorry. Now prove me wrong and kill this thing..." her voice became slightly singsong, "If you hur-ry I'll buy you din-ner..."  
  
Asuka laughed, "Well, as long as you're not cooking, I'm in." -And you can treat Shinji too,- she thought with a smile, -then we can go to the hotel... forget the dance.-  
  
She pushed a button on the side of the right control yoke and a gray helmet slid forward, moving over her head. As it became active, her face was lit by a soft green glow. "Target acquired," a soft female voice whispered in her ear, "calculating trajectory. Target out of range... recommend advancing to closer location."  
  
Asuka frowned, ignoring the droning voice as it continued to recommend courses of action and instead focused on the small, dancing dot in the viewfinder.  
  
"Come on..." she whispered, "hold still..." She knew that the target was not actually moving, but rather, the entire planet was... but she was still frustrated. This was supposed to be a night of fun and passion - and here she was trying to swat a bothersome insect from goodness-knows how far away.  
  
She was just thinking how unfair it was that they would not get to do 'the fun stuff' as she liked to put it, when the viewfinder blinked 'LOCKED'.  
  
"Well how about tha-" her happy exclamation turned into a scream as a piercing white light flooded her vision. She felt something push into her mind, "NO!!" she cried out, "Don't come into me!!"  
  
"Asuka?" Shinji's bewildered voice reached her, but she was unable to answer as she felt the... presence, slide further into her - she immediately equated it with the first time she had been with Shinji, including the pain.  
  
She screamed, "Get out of my mind! God... OH GOD! IT'S RAPING MY MIND!!!"  
  
**  
  
Everyone in the control room froze as Asuka's scream rang out, then they all moved at once.  
  
"What's happening? Is it a beam weapon?" Misato yelled, "Get me some answers, DAMNIT!!"  
  
"Negative," Hyouga called back, "no heat emissions detected!"  
  
"It's attacking her mind directly," Ritsuko whispered in horror, "it's forcing its way inside her thoughts..."  
  
Asuka screamed again and pulled the triggers on the control yokes, hoping that the angel was still lined up... knowing she would not get another shot.  
  
The rifle boomed twice, sending bolts of energy up into the sky.  
  
"No good!" Hyouga reported, starting to sweat, "It's out of range, she can't hit it!"  
  
"NO!!" Asuka cried, pulling the trigger again and again, "Get OUT OF ME!!!"  
  
Misato's mouth fell open as the red mecha contorted in pain and continued firing... every shot landing with devastating force on Tokyo-3.  
  
"Hits reported on blocks E, G, K, and R4," Hyouga's voice was frantic, "there are casualties..." His eyes widened, "Oh God..." he whispered, "she hit one of the shelters..."  
  
"Eject her plug!" Misato yelled, "We've got to get her out of there before she destroys the city!"  
  
"No good!" Maya was shaking her head, "The signal can't get past the angel's energy field."  
  
Finally the huge rifle ran out of ammo, just as Unit 02 threw its head back and screamed with inhuman agony.  
  
"Requesting permission to return fire..." Touji said tensely, "I have it in my sights." He waited for a moment, "Requesting permission to fire!" he yelled.  
  
Shinji was screaming, "Asuka!! ASUKA!!! Please!! PLEASE, FATHER!! Let me help her!!!" He yanked on the control yokes, willing Unit 01 to respond, "COME ON!!!" he screamed in frustration, "MOVE!!!"  
  
"The pilot brought it on herself," Gendou said coldly, ignoring his son's pleas, "her pride will be her downfall."  
  
Fuyutsuki leaned down and whispered in his ear, "Ikari... it is too early to lose Unit 02, we still need it."  
  
Gendou nodded minutely, "Of course, you are correct," in a louder voice he commanded, "Unit 03, you have clearance. Fire at will."  
  
"It's about fucking TIME!!!" Touji yelled. He focused his attention on the tiny dot, waiting to see the word 'locked' appear in his scope. When it did, he held his breath and squeezed the triggers, -Hang on, Asuka!- he thought.  
  
Green fire licked from the barrel of the positron cannon, the kickback pulverizing the building directly behind Unit 03.  
  
Touji smiled as he watched the energy beam's progress on his monitor, -That looks dead center to me...- he thought.  
  
The shot bounced harmlessly off of the angel's AT field.  
  
"No..." Touji whispered, his smile falling away.  
  
"Unit 03," Gendou spoke with some energy, as his plan came together, "continue firing. Rei... go to Terminal Dogma and get the Lance."  
  
Fuyutsuki looked taken aback, he composed himself and leaned over his old friend's shoulder again, "The committee will not sit still for this, Ikari... you risk too much."  
  
Gendou did not turn to him, "Great risks must be taken in order to reap great rewards."  
  
"But, sir..." Misato spoke, confused, "I heard that if an EVA comes in contact with Adam it will cause Third Impact... please don't do this!" Gendou said nothing, just continued to stare at her with a small smile, -I see...- Misato thought bitterly, turning away, -another lie...-  
  
"Understood..." Rei whispered as she willed Unit 00 forward off of the catapult. Though Asuka's screams filled her ears, they did not affect her as much as Shinji's. His screams of anguish tore at her like tiny fingers, making her push Unit 00 harder than she had dared to before.  
  
It was not that Rei did not care about what was happening to Asuka, because she did not dislike the girl as Asuka disliked her (honestly, the redhead's opinion of her meant nothing to her), but Shinji... he was another story.  
  
She hated to see him in pain, and went to great lengths to ensure that he was safe at all times. -I will stop this...- she thought as she moved the blue mecha swiftly, almost recklessly, towards Terminal Dogma.  
  
In the command room, Maya whispered, "Sempai? You wanted to know if Rei's sync rate shot up again like it did during the last training? Well, it is now... seven points."  
  
Ritsuko leaned over her desk, "Make sure a copy of the battle tape - including this data - gets to me, understood?"  
  
Maya nodded, making a note on her computer as Rei continued to race through the compound, now moving Unit 00 at its top speed.  
  
"Please, Shinji..." she whispered, "please calm down... I will make it alright..."  
  
The air inside Terminal Dogma became hot as Unit 00 began to blur, moving faster than it was ever designed to.  
  
"Unit 00 just became supersonic..." Maya whispered, "just like Unit 01 against the tenth angel."  
  
Ritsuko reached over her shoulders and tapped a quick sequence on the keyboard. "No, it didn't..." she said, her voice low and firm as she held Maya's eyes. Finally the younger woman blinked and looked away.  
  
"Yes, Sempai..." she whispered as the image of Unit 00 practically flying through the wide space of Terminal Dogma disappeared from her screen without a trace.  
  
**  
  
"Shin...ji..." Asuka gasped, her body arching off of the pilot's chair as more images from the past stormed through her mind.  
  
Everything that made her HER was laid bare before her mind's eye... and she knew her love could do nothing to shield her - but still she cried out for him, hoping... needing... praying, that he would find a way to save her. -You're always... always so strong...- she thought, trying to escape the bombardment of pictures and feelings as they became more intense, building towards a single dark event in her past. -Please...- she begged, mentally shying away from what she knew was coming, -please save me...-  
  
But he could not.  
  
"ASUKA!!!" Shinji was openly sobbing now, pulling with all of his might on the two butterfly controls, "Please..." he begged, "please, someone save her..."  
  
In Unit 04's entry plug, Hikari was crying. "Oh GOD!!!" she screamed brokenly, "Make it stop!!!" -I'm sorry, Asuka!!- The thought tore through her, -I'm sorry!!- She slammed her hands over her ears and wept as one thought rang over and over through her mind, making her fell dirty and ashamed, -I'm glad it's you and not me...-  
  
Touji kept pulling the trigger... unwilling to give up... unable to help... "Die, damn you!!" he cried, his voice breaking, "DIE!" The rifle discharged again, another bolt of energy tearing through the heavens... only to be deflected.  
  
And then Rei was there.  
  
"Catapult nineteen activated," Hyouga called out, "Unit 00 approaching the surface... its got the Lance."  
  
"Rei!" Misato's voice came to her through a dull, pulsing haze of rage, "Don't throw yet, you have to wait for the Magi to calculate the angle of deflection and compensate for the rotation of-" Rei clicked off the feed from the command room and focused on one private channel.  
  
"I do not need them," she whispered, her lips pulled away from her teeth in a snarl as she listened to Shinji's sobs, "they are not necessary... for me..."  
  
All eyes were locked onto the monitor as the blue mecha breached the surface, shooting several hundred feet into the air. Since her feed was off, no one heard Rei's animalistic scream as the great humanoid figure twisted in mid-air, bringing the Lance of Longinus up in one swift movement and throwing it as hard as it could, causing a small clap of thunder in the immediate vicinity as it tore the very air around it apart.  
  
Unit 00 fell back to the ground as the Lance streaked skyward to find its target and end the suffering that it was causing, "For you," Rei whispered gently, touching the small screen that read Feed from Unit 01 softly and ignoring the Lance's progress, "always for you..."  
  
Through Rei was unaware of it, Unit 00 nodded as if satisfied... and in a tank marked Prime, deep under her feet... a dark haired girl smiled.  
  
**  
  
Central Dogma was quiet, and had been for the past five minutes. The lance had struck dead center, ending the attack immediately, and Asuka had stopped crying seconds later... though the occasional sob could still be heard from Shinji in Unit 01.  
  
Misato shook herself, breaking out of her dark thoughts, "Unit 03, return to base.... Asuka?" she said quietly, "can you bring Unit 02 back to the cage?"  
  
Asuka's voice was lifeless, "Yes." Unit 02 began to move ponderously toward the waiting cage.  
  
"Rei, assist Unit 02 in returning-" Misato began.  
  
"NO!" Asuka's voice was filled with rage, "I can do it myself!!"  
  
Rei was unfazed, "I will follow Unit 02 and assist if necessary."  
  
Asuka found that she was too tired to argue the point any further, -Of course... of course SHE would follow orders...- She used the last of her remaining strength to get the EVA back to its cage, then collapsed into tears as the elevator began to descend.  
  
**  
  
Shinji found Asuka as soon as he was released from Unit 01's plug. She was sitting in the middle of a square marked off with bright yellow tape that screamed: QUARANTINE! DO NOT CROSS!! Watching Unit 02 as it was returned to its cage.  
  
He gathered himself, wiping away the last of his tears, and called out to her, "Asuka! Are you ok?" She did not reply, "Asuka!! Please... please talk to me..."  
  
Asuka did not turn to face him as she spoke, "No, Shinji," her voice was cold... and filled with hurt, "I don't want to see anyone... not even you. Just... just leave me alone!"  
  
His face registered surprise, and his hands balled into fists, -I know the angel invaded her mind somehow... but they said she should be fine.-  
  
Asuka was rocking back and forth, shivering as she clutched her legs close to her chest. "It doesn't matter..." she whispered quietly, "nothing matters anymore... just useless..."  
  
-I can't... I can't just watch her suffer!- Shinji thought with a frown. He stepped forward, ducking under the tape, and wrapped his arms around her.  
  
Asuka began to struggle fiercely, "No!! No, don't touch me!! I... I'm unclean... Shinji please..."  
  
Shinji looked at her, "I won't let you go, Asuka, no mater what the Angel did, I-"  
  
"You don't understand!!" she cut him off, still trying to pull away, "It isn't the angel, it's what the angel made me remember... I remembered my mother... and... and I remembered that she tried to kill me... that she asked me to die with her..." She intensified her efforts to get away, "and I remembered... I remembered that it was my fault..."  
  
He held her tightly, ignoring her struggles to get away from him. "Why, Asuka?" He whispered, pulling back slightly so he could meet her eyes.  
  
She stopped fighting and spoke quietly, her voice cracking, "Because..." she looked back at him, her eyes streaming with tears, "because I said 'Yes', Shinji... I said yes..."  
  
Shinji's eyes widened as she went on, "I begged her to take me with her... to kill me too... if only... if only she would look at ME, and not that stupid doll!! I gave up on living, Shinji, do you understand? All I wanted was to be with my mama, and so I gave up..."  
  
Shinji held her closer, and whispered, "Asuka... you were only seven..."  
  
She tried to get away again, scared of opening herself completely, scared of seeing pity in his eyes, "It doesn't matter!" she screamed bitterly, "I wanted to die..." her voice dropped to a whisper, "Some days I still do..."  
  
"You don't mean that," he said, shaking his head, "You-"  
  
"YES I DO!" she screamed, more tears running down her cheeks, "And I want you to let me go right NOW!!" She twisted in his arms, but he refused to release her.  
  
Shinji held her without saying anything for a few minutes, waiting for her tears to abate. Once they had he spoke gently, "Asuka... do you love me?"  
  
She stopped struggling, her breath ragged, "Do I-"  
  
He cut her off quietly, "Because I love you, and I want you to be with me - no matter what."  
  
She started to cry again, "But... but I'm not worthy of-"  
  
He pressed his finger against her lips tenderly, "Shhh... yes... you are. It doesn't matter what happened before, all that matters is now... if you love me..." He took a deep breath and looked into her eyes, "do you love me?"  
  
She studied his eyes, expecting to see pity, but only finding love.  
  
Something broke inside of her, something buried so long ago that she was not even aware of it until just then. From the depths of her soul... from the farthest reaches of her mind... from the deepest recesses of her heart - everything that she was screamed, "YES!!"  
  
She collapsed into his arms, clinging to him like a drowning person would cling to a scrap of driftwood. Asuka Langley Souryu, angel slayer, designated pilot of Evangelion Unit 02, and self-proclaimed toughest girl alive, wept like never before. Cleansing her soul of all the age-old self-loathing and all the doubt in the arms of the man that she loved more than life itself.  
  
To be continued  
  
  
Author's notes: As Strike Fiss said in his incredible fiction, Higher Learning, "I don't know ANY fanfic-writer who doesn't dread having to write about Asuka's mind-rape. Especially if they have to describe it." He was right, that was one of the hardest things I've ever done... and I still couldn't bring myself to describe it - it was just too hard (also, the idea for having Touji use the positron rifle came from this same story... sorry... but it seemed too good to pass up.). I wrote the end of this Chapter before the beginning, because I had a very clear idea of what I wanted to happen in it and I didn't want to get side tracked. The end scene and the one in episode 21 where Misato cries and Shinji does nothing about it, are the two that bother me the most out of anything in Evangelion (aside of the movie's end, but I'll talk about that later). Twice, Shinji is given the opportunity to comfort someone that he loves, and twice he shies away from it. In my mind, this is what people are talking about when they say Shinji is a coward. I've always thought that Shinji could be strong if he needed to (as evidenced by the scene in the beginning of episode 19, when he threatened to trash the base... and later in the episode where he returns to save everyone), and I thought that these two scenes were not continuous with his pre-established pattern of helping other people (like cleaning Rei's room, or refusing to fight Unit 03, or jumping into an active volcano to save Asuka, or, or, or...). I've said it before, and I will say it again: the characters in Evangelion are so well defined and written that they seem real... and one of my purposes in writing this whole story was to try and show how things might have been with just a few alterations. If it all comes off as a bit WAFFy, that's just because I wanted to see them happy for a change... it's the only way I can make it up to them (in my mind anyway) for all the pain and suffering of the last few episodes and the movie.  
  
Thanks to Ryoma for pre-reading.  
  
Feedback is always welcome at random1377@yahoo.com  
  



	10. Bittersweet victories

Disclaimer: Evangelion is owned 100% by Gainax animation. Anything in this story is technically theirs (hope they don't want it back). Here is Deviance part 9. Hope you like it.  
  
Part 9  
(Episode 23)  
Bittersweet victories  
  
Hikari Suzuhara closed her eyes and bit her lip, trying not to cry out as Ritsuko Akagi performed the examination. She tried to think of happy things as the blonde explored her body with an expressionless look on her face, and then let out a long sigh of relief as it ended. -Oh please...- she thought, "please never let me have to go through that again.-  
  
Ritsuko took off the rubber gloves she was wearing and threw them into the garbage. "Hikari," she said, folding her arms, "I know that you're married to Touji... but have you slept with anyone else?"  
  
Hikari flushed deeply, "N-no ma'am..." she whispered, looking at the floor, "only him."  
  
Ritsuko nodded, "I see." She ran a hand through her hair, "Well, he was tested when he became a pilot, and was clean for any sexually transmitted diseases, so anything that would not show up right away on a test would have been contracted from someone else - and since there hasn't been anyone else, I think it's safe to rule that out."  
  
Hikari nodded, still blushing at the way the blonde was talking so openly about sex. "I... was worried it might be..." she looked at the floor again, hesitating, "cancer. My grandmother died from uterine cancer, so I was afraid that... that I might... I mean..." She could not finish the sentence... it was too frightening.  
  
Ritsuko shook her head, "With the advancements in technology and testing, the rapid Pap-smear would have detected it - and if it was elsewhere in your body, the x-rays would have picked it up. You don't have cancer."  
  
Hikari let out a long-held breath, "That's... that's good..." she said weakly, "but if it's not that... what is it? Why do I hurt so badly sometimes, Doctor Akagi? I don't understand..."  
  
The older woman looked away, uncomfortable with the desperate tone of the girl's voice, -Damn,- she thought, -why do I always have to try and comfort them? I'm not the motherly kind!- To Hikari she said, "Most likely it is stress. You've recently gotten married, become an EVA pilot, and undergone a very trying experience in a foreign country. That's bound to take its toll on anyone."  
  
Hikari frowned, "But... the pain is... I..."  
  
Ritsuko sighed, "Hikari, look..." she said, rubbing the bridge of her nose, "I can't find anything wrong with you... so unless it's something our instruments can't detect, it's in your mind... I'm sorry."  
  
Hikari nodded and stood to get dressed, "I see... thank you for helping me, Doctor Akagi... and for not telling Touji. I don't want him to worry."  
  
In spite of herself, Ritsuko smiled as the girl finished dressing and got ready to leave, "You're welcome, Hikari... I hope you feel better." Of all the pilots (and all their problems) she liked Hikari the best... she was the most child-like of the entire group - and for some reason, that gave Ritsuko some hope for the future of the world... even if her own future was uncertain.  
  
Hikari thanked her again and walked home in thoughtful silence. In spite of Ritsuko's assurances, she knew that something was wrong - she just knew it.  
  
As she reached the modest Suzuhara home, she put on a smile. "Everything ok?" Touji asked as she came in the door. Her heart clenched in a combination of guilt and happiness. Guilt that she was about to lie to him, and happiness that he had been waiting for her when she got there.  
  
"Everything's fine, honey," she said, embracing him and kissing him lightly on the lips, "I told you it was just a routine exam."  
  
He smiled and scratched the back of his head sheepishly, "Yeah, I know..." he said with a small blush (a sight that would have instantly destroyed his tough-guy reputation at school), "I just... well, you know..."  
  
She smiled, "Yes," she said, kissing him longer, "I love you too." She sighed and put her head on his shoulder as he held her, -Please, Lord...- she prayed silently, -let me be alright...-  
  
Like many prayers... hers was to go unanswered.  
  
**  
  
Shinji Ikari and Asuka Langley Souryu sat staring at each other across the kitchen table.   
  
Neither said a word.  
  
Between them sat an unopened box.  
  
"It's not like she would ever find out..." Asuka said finally, her tone reasonable, "she's at work all day, and never checks in on us..."  
  
Shinji frowned, "Well, yeah... but we would know... and we promised..."  
  
She growled in frustration, "Look," she said firmly, "Misato said we had to stay home today and do homework... she MUST know that we would... would want to... you know..."  
  
He grinned ruefully, "What if she's testing us? Trying to see if we WOULD - even though we said we wouldn't?"  
  
"She didn't say, 'You can't do it in your room,' did she?" Asuka looked hopeful.  
  
Shinji shook his head and sighed, "Unfortunately no... she said not in the house..."  
  
"Damn..." she whispered.  
  
They lapsed into silence once more, staring at the box of ice cream intently.  
  
"It's a stupid rule!" Asuka burst out suddenly, "Just because ONE time we got a LITTLE on the couch... I see no reason why-"  
  
"It was a gallon," Shinji reminded her with a smile, cutting into her tirade before it gathered too much steam, "and we got it ALL over the living room... or maybe you forgot exactly WHAT we were doing?"  
  
She blushed, "Yeah, well... at least she didn't find out that we broke THAT rule..."  
  
They both smiled as they remembered the afternoon in question.  
  
They had covered up by saying that they had gotten into an ice cream fight... but the skeptical look on her face said loud and clear that she didn't buy it. However, the faint smile as she told them to clean it up and NEVER eat ice cream in the house said loud and clear that she understood.  
  
Shinji was just opening his mouth to say that TECHNICALLY the patio wasn't IN the apartment, when his cell phone rang. He picked it up, "Yes? Oh, Hi Misato..." he flushed guiltily, mouthing 'Told you so,' to Asuka.  
  
His face drained of color as he listened, then said, "I... I understand, we're on the way..." He hung up and met Asuka's eyes, "There's an angel. They haven't sounded the alarm yet because it's advancing slowly and they need us to get there before people start evacuating and the streets get crowded."  
  
Asuka paled, "An angel?" She had still not quite gotten over the encounter with the fifteenth.  
  
Shinji nodded, "Yes... Rei's already at headquarters, so they're going to launch her once the angel gets closer... but we need to get there to play backup. Hikari and Touji are already on the way."  
  
Asuka nodded and stood... then smiled and said, "Hey, Shinji... they're the Suzuharas, right?"  
  
He blinked, "Well, yeah... they're married..." he didn't bother to hide his confusion, "so?"  
  
She began moving towards the door, "So..." she said, slipping her shoes on, "we ever going to be the Ikaris?"  
  
Shinji tripped over the kitchen chair and fell down, much to the delight of his love - who help him stand and tried not to laugh too hard. "Umm... yeah..." he said, blushing deeply as she hoisted him from the floor, "someday... yeah..."  
  
She grinned broadly, "I want a diamond ring," she said teasingly, "and when the time comes I better get a better proposal then your acceptance." He fell to one knee and she laughed, pulling him back up, "Not NOW, you idiot," she giggled, kissing him, "there's an angel, remember? I meant in like a year or two... and I want it to be a surprise."  
  
He grinned sheepishly, "I... yeah..." as she turned, he grabbed her hand, "Asuka?" He said softly, "Will you? When the time is right?"  
  
"Don't be stupid!" She said with an exasperated sigh, "And get your shoes on!" As she hustled him out the door she muttered, "Moron... of course I will... why would I have brought it up if I wasn't going to, I mean honestly..."  
  
She berated him gently the whole way to headquarters, leaving the ice cream to melt silently on the table.  
  
**  
  
Unit 00 moved carefully towards the glowing halo in the sky, the blue mecha holding its huge rifle at the ready.  
  
In Central Dogma, Misato leaned closer to the screen, frowning deeply. "Be careful, Rei..." she said, "just because it hasn't moved yet doesn't mean that-"  
  
"It is coming..." Rei's soft voice replied.  
  
As if on cue, the halo broke apart, becoming a white, serpentine bar in the sky.  
  
"Rei, watch out!" Misato called... but the First Child never had a chance to move.  
  
The angel suddenly exploded into motion, moving towards Unit 00 so fast that Rei barely had a chance to raise her AT field.  
  
It did her no good.  
  
The angel rammed straight through the field and embedded itself in Unit 00's stomach, burrowing in even as Rei brought the Unit's rifle up to bear and fired round after round into the angel's body at pointblank range.  
  
"The angel is merging with Unit 00!" Maya called out, "Its already two percent fused."  
  
Onscreen, Unit 00 dropped its rifle and fell on its back, trying to pull the angel out with its bare hands.  
  
"Launch Units 04 and 02 immediately," Misato said smoothly, "have Unit 03 stand by."  
  
"Yes, ma'am!" Maya replied, triggering the launch code.  
  
Both Units shot to the surface, side by side. As they reached the top, Asuka said, "Hikari, you hang back... I'll take care of this."  
  
Her friend's voice came back to her, sounding tired, "Yeah... ok..." Asuka frowned in concern for a moment, but her attention was drawn to the angel forcing its way into Unit 00.  
  
She snarled unconsciously as she brought her rifle around to bear and raised her AT field.   
  
"The angel is moving..." Maya reported. Onscreen, the end of the angel that was not embedded in Unit 00 whipped around as Unit 02's field came up. It seemed to tense for a moment, then shot towards the red machine.  
  
Asuka barely had time so sidestep as the white being rocketed past her, smashing her rifle to pieces on its way by. "Damn you!" She screamed. Her eyes narrowed as the angel came around for another pass, gauging.  
  
Smiling, she whirled Unit 02 around and sprinted in the opposite direction.  
  
"Asuka!" Misato's startled cry reached her, "What are you doing?"  
  
Asuka ignored her, pushing up on the controls and urging more speed from her Unit, bringing it around a mountainside.  
  
In Central Dogma, all eyes were on the screen as the angel stopped its pursuit and began heading back towards Unit 00.  
  
There was a collective gasp as Unit 02 reappeared on the other side of the mountain, running flat out.  
  
Asuka twisted the control yokes inward, causing the red mecha to leap into the air. "Now, you son of a bitch!!" She screamed, landing with both feet on the free end of the angel's white body. She smiled as she reached forward and began tearing at the white matter underfoot.  
  
Her smile fell away as the angel screamed... with Rei's voice.  
  
"What the...?" She tried to pull away, but found that the angel stuck to her EVA like warm taffy.  
  
"The angel is invading Unit 02 as well!" Maya shouted.  
  
"Asuka, pull back!" Misato ordered, "Hikari, stay out of range, understood?"  
Unit 02 tore itself away from the angel with some difficulty and stumbled away, ducking behind a building as the creature tried to pursue.  
  
Within Unit 04's entry plug, Hikari was bathed in sweat. -I feel like I'm burning up...- she thought as she guided the mecha to a safe distance, -please let this end soon...-  
  
**  
  
In the cages, Shinji and Touji sat in their EVAs... tensely watching the fight on their small monitor screens.  
  
"You know what?" Touji said sullenly, "This sucks. We have to sit here while our women fight for us..." he shook his head, grumbling, "it's just not proper..."  
  
Shinji didn't know if he should laugh at his friend's old-fashioned reasoning... or agree with him. He settled for changing the subject, "Well..." he said absently, staring at the battle, "at least it's a break from homework..."  
  
Touji snorted and met Shinji's gaze on the small monitor, "Yeah... like that's a problem for you," he said, frowning as tried to keep track of the action, "you're, what, a STRAIGHT A student? Which reminds me, what did you get on the last-"  
  
Shinji frowned as his friend stopped talking in mid-sentence, a strange look coming over his face. "You ok?" He asked, looking from Touji to the fight and back, "What is it?"  
  
Touji didn't respond, instead he addressed the command room, clicking buttons on his control yokes as he talked, "EVA Unit 03, launching on route five."  
  
"WHAT?" Misato's face came onscreen, "You and Unit 01 are not cleared to launch, Suzuhara!" He watched as she turned to the side, "Lock Unit 03 down."  
  
Touji smiled as he finished the sequence of keystrokes. "I... I can't..." Maya's surprised voice reached him, "it's been overridden somehow!" It was a little trick Asuka had taught him in a moment of civility... just a little feedback on the right circuits, and the EVA was free for two minutes solid. When he had asked her WHY she knew how to do it, she had looked away, mumbling something about no one pressurizing HER LCL.  
  
"Touji!" Misato's eyes burned into him, "I am giving you a direct order to stand down... there's nothing you can do."  
  
Ignoring her, Touji activated the catapult. As he shot to the surface, his mind raced, -I hope this works...-  
  
"DAMNIT!" Misato yelled, slamming her fist down on the closest console, "The minute he gets back I want him detained!"  
  
A cool voice behind her made her head come around quickly, "If he defeats the angel... he will not be detained, Major..." Gendou said firmly behind her, "or perhaps you have forgotten our purpose here."  
  
She flushed, "No... sir..." she said, "but orders-"  
  
He cut her off, "I am concerned that you did not launch Unit 03 in the first place," his voice held a dangerous edge, "at this time, the pilot's sync rate is higher than that of the Fifth Child's."  
  
She looked away, "I... felt that his bravado would be a hindrance in this scenario, sir..." she said quietly. -And I don't trust Unit 03 as far as I can throw it...- she thought darkly, -I don't care WHAT Ritsuko says...-  
  
"You are aware of the stakes, Major..." Gendou continued after a moment's silence, "if you are not willing to use the tools at your disposal, I will find someone who is... understood?"  
  
She nodded, "Yes sir..." she whispered.  
  
**  
  
Rei opened her eyes. "What is this place?" She whispered, looking around.  
  
There was a large lake of LCL in front of her... and a platform of some kind that she was standing on... but other than that, there was nothing. Try as she might, she could not see anything past the horizon.  
  
As she surveyed the scene, she noticed a figure standing hip-deep in the amber fluid, its head down.  
  
"Who are you?" Rei asked quietly.  
  
The figure looked up at her, and she was surprised to see her own features. For a moment, they wavered slightly, as if unsure of what they wanted to be... and the other Rei's hair darkened slightly. Finally, it became solidly her... and it whispered, "Do you not want to be one with me?"  
  
Rei shook her head, "No... you are you... I am I..." She felt an odd sense of deja vu as she looked at her reflection-self. -I... have seen myself like this... somehow... long ago...-  
  
"It does not matter," the other Rei was saying, "it is already begun. Soon we will be united - ALL will be united... even your children."  
  
"I... do not have children..." Rei answered, confused.  
  
The other Rei smiled, "You are not even aware of yourself... of your origins. But that will change. Soon all will be made clear to you."  
  
Rei stared in silence for a moment, trying to isolate the feeling of familiarity within her.  
  
Her mirror image spoke once more, "We have many wonders to see together, Mother... will you not take my hand? It will be less... painful, that way..."  
  
"Mother?" Rei echoed, a memory tickling the back of her mind. Cleaning... wringing out a towel... Shinji saying... what? What did he say? Something embarrassing...  
  
"You are confused, Mother..." the other Rei said softly. "You feel things... and you do not understand them. You are alone, but you do not know HOW alone..." she smiled, her eyes shifting from red to empty black, "let me show you..."  
  
Rei's senses were suddenly assailed as the angel made contact with her mind... and showed her what the meaning of loneliness was. Had the experience not been so painful... she might have remembered the lesson in time to save incalculable suffering...  
  
**  
  
Unit 03 slammed to a halt on the surface, stepping out of the elevator with ponderously slow movements.  
  
"What is he doing?" Misato whispered, "Touji! Take the rifle!!"  
  
The black mecha marched past the weapons building and straight towards the angel, which was watching its approach with little interest... until Touji activated the Unit's AT field. Then, like with Unit 02, it tensed and leapt forward. Touji let it come, extending Unit 03's arms and crouching the machine to brace for the collision.  
  
The angel rammed into the black Unit, clipping through its AT field at if it wasn't there and starting to burrow in.  
  
"Fusion starting..." Maya said tensely, "one percent... two... four..." her eyebrows shot up, "wait!"  
  
"YES!" Touji's triumphant cry echoed through Central Dogma, as all eyes went to the monitor to behold the spectacle unfolding there.  
  
The angel was pulling away from Unit 03, weaving from side to side like a confused snake.  
  
"What's going on?" Misato wondered aloud.  
  
"Biology, Major." Touji's voice came back to her, sounding incredibly satisfied, "Since Unit 03 had already been taken over by an angel once before, it has..." he paused, slightly at a loss for words, "angel antibodies, I guess."  
  
Ritsuko slapped her forehead, "Of course! Since the angel is a foreign body, the EVA considers it a virus - and it's defending itself!"  
  
Maya spoke hesitantly, "Ummm... Major, I... I have an idea..."  
  
Misato and Ritsuko listened carefully as she outlined her idea to them. When she was finished they both nodded. Misato shot a look at Ritsuko, her eyebrow arched, Ritsuko nodded her approval and Misato leaned over Maya's desk, "Maya, since timing is of the essence in this plan, the handling of this operation will be entirely yours."  
  
Maya turned to her, dumbfounded, "M-Me?"   
  
Misato nodded and smiled gently, "I have confidence in you."  
  
Maya turned back to her desk, blushing fiercely, "Ok, Units 02 and 04, get behind Unit 03. This is what we're going to do..."  
  
**  
  
"A tear?" Rei came back to herself as the first drop hit her leg, "Am... am I the one who is crying?" She looked around, noticing the other three EVAs, two crouching behind the last, and the other half of the angel whipping around, apparently trying to find a way to reach them. "You... will not!!" she cried out.  
  
Maya's voice sounded awed, "Rei... Rei has inverted her AT field... she's containing the angel!" Her eyes went wide, "Unit 00's self-destruct has just activated... seventy seconds until detonation." She leaned closer to her microphone, "Rei! Rei, eject now!"  
  
"No..." Rei said, "if I eject, the AT field will collapse."  
  
"Rei..." Touji's quiet voice spoke to her as the timer reached sixty seconds, "it won't get away."  
  
Fifty seconds.  
  
"But... but, if I eject... the angel will-" Rei began uncertainly.  
  
Forty-five seconds  
  
Touji cut her off, "You're going to have to trust us, Rei... can you trust us?"  
  
Thirty-eight seconds  
  
"I... I do not know..." -Trust him...THEM? Trust? Can I?- her thoughts whirled frantically.  
  
Thirty-five seconds  
  
Touji didn't know what else to say... fortunately he didn't have to.  
  
Shinji's voice came through Unit 00's speakers, "Please trust them Rei... please? For me?"  
  
Twenty-four seconds  
  
-For him...- Rei thought, a cool calmness stealing over her.  
  
Twenty-three seconds.  
  
She made her choice.  
  
**  
  
Unit 00's back blew away, and Rei's entry plug rocketed backwards.   
  
"Pilot is clear!" Maya yelled triumphantly, "The angel is trying to separate from Unit 00."  
  
"Asuka! Hikari! NOW!" So saying, Touji concentrated on spreading his EVA's AT field. Unit 02 and Unit 04 stepped around the black EVA and did the same, overlapping the fields and trapping the angel within their confines.  
  
The angel battered at each AT field desperately... but without the momentum it had when it penetrated Unit 00's it could not get through.  
  
"Unit 00 will self-destruct in twenty seconds," Maya said from her post, "nineteen, eighteen, seventeen..."  
  
Touji smiled, -Payback is a bitch, ain't it?- he thought savagely.  
  
"T-Touji?" Hikari's voice came to him, sounding weak, "I... I don't know how much longer I can hold it..."  
  
Touji frowned, "Just a little longer, honey... we're almost there." -She does not sound good...- he thought, concerned, -I should have insisted she stay home...-  
  
"Hang on, Hikari," Asuka spoke grimly, her eyes never leaving the now-frantic angel, "it'll all be over soon."  
  
As Asuka finished, Maya's countdown reached zero... and the space within the three AT fields become filled with explosive force, "Hang on!" Maya shouted.  
  
The three pilots held on, focusing all of their will on maintaining the fields.  
  
Touji watched with squinted eyes and a vicious smile as the angel was vaporized by the blast, his thoughts unknowingly echoing Asuka's, -NOW I can sleep...-  
  
"Ok, now!" Maya yelled, and the three EVAs each took one pace backwards and raised their hands a few feet. The end result of this action was that the remaining energy was channeled upwards, reducing the damage to the Geofront... but not before a small lake could be formed exactly on the ground where Unit 00 once stood.  
  
**  
  
Deep in Terminal Dogma... in a room that only two people on Earth knew existed... a young girl with dark hair opened her eyes.  
  
**  
  
Several seconds of silence followed the massive explosion, broken finally by Touji and Asuka simultaneously screaming, "YES!!"  
  
Maya leaned back in he seat, allowing a small sigh of relief to escape her lips. She looked at Misato and Ritsuko, both of whom nodded, "Evangelion Units 02, 03, and 04, mission accomplished... please return to the cages." She said happily.  
  
"You don't have to tell me twice!" Asuka said, willing the red EVA forward, "I want a long bath..."  
  
Touji frowned as he began to move, speaking almost at the same time as Shinji, "Will Rei be alright?"  
  
Misato nodded, "There is a recovery unit on its way. She'll probably be in the hospital for a day or two to make sure there are no lasting effects from the angel fusing with her EVA." -Her EVA...- she thought sadly, looking at the small lake, -Now what?-  
  
Ritsuko was frowning, "Didn't you hear the order, Hikari? Return to base." Her voice holding a slight edge as unit 04 stood immobile   
  
Hikari's head was pounding as her vision became double. She found that she could not make the EVA move. "Something's... wrong," she gasped, her face covered in sweat, "I can't... I can't think straight!"  
  
"DAMN!" Ritsuko shouted, looking at Hikari's vital signs, "Eject her plug, something IS wrong!."  
  
"HIKARI!!!!" Touji's desperate cry rang through headquarters as his EVA spun around and ran towards the spot where his wife's entry plug had touched down.  
  
"Sorry..." Hikari whispered, then blackness overtook her.  
  
**  
  
Rei awoke, opening her eyes slowly. The entry plug landing was rather rough, and she had been knocked unconscious.   
  
She looked around and blinked hard before speaking, "Shin...ji? Pilot Souryu??" She could not hide the surprise in her voice.  
  
Asuka crossed her arms and sniffed, looking away, "I'm not here JUST for you..."  
  
Rei caught the emphasis on the word 'just', -Meaning you are here PARTLY for me...- she thought, almost smiling at the thought, -I... I would not have guessed that you cared, Pilot Souryu.-  
  
Shinji looked at her worriedly, putting his hand on hers, "Are you ok?" He paused, "I mean really?"  
  
Rei nodded and sat up. Finally taking notice of the room's other occupant, she gasped, "Pilot Suzuhara?"  
  
Touji held his wife's hand against his cheek, tears running silently down his face. He looked up at Rei, smiling sadly, "They... they don't know what's wrong with her, Ayanami... she just passed out and..." His voice cracked, "and they can't get her to wake up..." more tears ran from his eyes, and he kissed her limp hand softly.  
  
Rei didn't know what to say, -I... I do not know this emotion... is it... loss?- To Touji she said, "I am truly sorry that your wife is unwell... Touji."  
  
He looked at her, startled at hearing her use his first name, "Thank you..." he whispered, "Rei."  
  
She nodded slightly and turned to Shinji and Asuka, "Pilot Souryu, Shinji... thank you for... for coming to see me..." she blushed, still unused to expressing gratitude.  
  
Shinji squeezed her hand, nodding as he stood up, "As many times as you came to see me, when I was sick, it was the least I could do." He moved to Touji and put a hand on his shoulder, "Are you ok for a while? We need to shower and get out of these plugsuits."  
  
Touji nodded, "Yeah... yeah I'll be fine." He frowned, looking down at his stricken wife, "but you'll come back, right? I... I can't stay awake much longer, and I want someone here in case..." his voice started to crack again, "in case she wakes up." He stroked her cheek softly, whispering, "I don't want her to be scared..."  
  
Shinji squeezed his shoulder, "We'll be back as fast as we can." He took Asuka's hand, and they headed for the door. Ushering Asuka out first, Shinji turned to Rei, "You know something, Rei?" She looked at him questioningly, "I..." he broke off, wiping his eyes, "I'm glad you're ok."  
  
Rei smiled slightly, which was all that Shinji wanted. He started to close the door.  
  
Rei spoke quietly, making him hesitate, "It was because of you." Seeing his confusion she went on, "I did not trust them... I trusted YOUR faith in them. You saved me, Shinji..." Not knowing what to say, Shinji just nodded, blushing. He closed the door softly.  
  
Rei looked at Touji, who was staring at her with a puzzled look on his face. "What is it?" Rei asked.  
  
Touji shook his head slowly, still clutching Hikari's hand, "Nothing... it's just... never mind, it's stupid."  
  
Rei frowned, "Please... I will not laugh."  
  
Touji spoke reluctantly, looking at Hikari instead off meeting the blue-hared girl's eyes. "Ok... for one thing I've never seen you smile before, and..." he shook his head, feeling foolish, "and when you smile you could pass for Shinji's sister. Silly, huh?" He looked at Rei, expecting her to be frowning.  
  
Rei's eyes and mouth were wide, the word 'sister' echoing in her head.  
  
-That feels so... right...- she thought, shocked. "Thank you." She said to a confused Touji.  
  
"You're... you're welcome... I guess..." he said hesitantly.  
  
**  
  
Now dressed in street clothes, Asuka and Shinji returned to the room quietly, not wanting to disturb the occupants. When they entered, they found Touji asleep on Rei's bed and Rei watching over his sleeping wife.  
  
Rei looked up as they walked in, and spoke without preamble, "Shinji, there is something that I need to speak to you ab-"  
  
"Pilot Ikari," he turned around to find Ritsuko standing behind him in the hallway, "would you come with me please?"  
  
He looked at Rei, "Can it wait for a while, Rei?" She nodded reluctantly "Ok... I'll be back as soon as I can." He kissed Asuka briefly, whispering, "Be nice."  
  
She stuck her tongue out and whispered back, "I make no guarantees... hurry back." She grabbed him and kissed him properly, "Now you can go." She said as she released him and sat in one of the chairs by Hikari's bed.  
  
A little dizzy, Shinji stepped back, blushing. "Ok, doctor, guess I'm ready now." He grinned from ear to ear.  
  
Ritsuko rolled her eyes in disgust, "This way."  
  
She led him deep into the complex, only answering his questions with monosyllabic murmurs until he gave up and just followed. Finally they reached a huge door, marked all over with warnings indicating that trespassers would be shot on sight and the like. She produced an access card from one of the pockets of her lab coat and swiped it through a reader.  
  
Nothing happened.  
  
She swiped it again, frowning deeply. Shinji looked at the door curiously, wondering what was behind it. Since he was looking away, he didn't see Misato step up from the shadows and press her gun to the back of Ritsuko's head.  
  
"It won't open without my code..." Misato whispered, "but I can't get to the deeper rooms." She cocked the pistol, "So show me... let's end this game, Ritsu..."  
  
The blonde smiled, "Ok... but he gets to see too..." She gestured with her head towards Shinji, who was watching the proceedings with wide eyes.  
  
Misato hesitated... then nodded, "Alright..." she said softly. She stepped to the side, keeping the gun trained on Ritsuko and coming closer to Shinji. Ritsuko sighed and waited for her 'friend' to open the door.  
  
After the door had been opened, they made there way deep into the recesses of Terminal Dogma. Ritsuko showed them the resting place of the first attempts to make an Evangelion, eliciting shocked gasps from both Shinji and Misato. Then she led them deeper, passing through a sparse room, furnished with a bed and a nightstand. The beaker on the nightstand caught Shinji's eye, as did a dusty, long-disused crib in the corner.  
  
"This looks almost like Rei's apartment," Shinji commented as they moved through.  
  
Ritsuko smiled... it made Shinji's heart go cold, "This is the place Rei grew up..." she said coolly, "this is the place she called home until the commander took her to his apartment to live with him."  
  
"Why?" Misato wanted to know, "Why did he suddenly take her in? I thought she had always lived with him?"  
  
Ritsuko reached and opened the room's other door, "No... not always. She lived here until she was seven, and an... accident occurred. After that, Commander Ikari deemed that this place was unsafe for her."  
  
Shinji opened his mouth to ask what type of accident, but Ritsuko raised a hand to cut him off, "I'll explain everything in the next room."  
  
They followed her through the door and into a dark room. Shinji thought he could detect the smell of LCL... faint, but unmistakable. As his eyes adjusted to the dark, he heard Ritsuko whisper quietly, "Here... here is the answer to your questions, Misato..."  
  
He heard a small click, and a soft glow began to rise from the floor, becoming brighter until Shinji could see... everything.  
  
He managed not to scream - barely.  
  
All around him... left... right... directly ahead... were copies of Rei. Hundreds... maybe thousands of Reis floating in a huge tank filled with LCL.  
  
"What the...?" Misato's breathless gasp broke the silence that had fallen.  
  
As one, the clones turned to face them... and Shinji had to struggle to maintain his sanity as hundreds of giggles echoed through the dense liquid.  
  
"What is this place?" Misato managed to get out.  
  
"This is the heart of the dummy plug system," Ritsuko replied calmly, sticking her hand into her pocket, "this is the raw material for the system itself. You know that it's based on Rei's thought patterns... now you know how."  
  
"That's... inhuman..." Misato whispered, horrified, "harvesting... PEOPLE like this is..." she didn't - COULDN'T finish... the thought was so far from everything that she had been brought up to believe in.  
  
"They're not human." Ritsuko said coldly, "Just spare parts..." she looked at the tank, "salvaged from the remains of the original pilot." She met Shinji's eyes, "You were there when she was lost..." she said softly, "do you remember?"   
  
Shinji's eyes widened further, "I..." his voice dropped to a miserable whisper, "mother?"  
  
In her mind, Ritsuko could only see Gendou's face as she looked at his son. She twisted the knife further, "Do you? You were looking into her eyes when she was taken..." her voice dropped to barely above a whisper, "you were the last... thing... she... saw... before she di-"  
  
She was cutoff as Misato screamed, "That's enough!!!" She looked at Shinji, who was staring into the empty eyes of one of the clones with a vacant expression on his face.  
  
Misato was trembling with rage, "Why did you show him this... WHY!?"  
  
The blonde's face grew hard, "Because..." she said in a cold voice, "because of who he is, and who SHE is... and what I'VE had to put up with for his FUCKING FAMILY!"  
  
"You're crazy..." Misato whispered.  
  
Ritsuko's face became smooth, "No," she said calmly, "I'm the only sane one here..." she pulled her hand out of her pocket, revealing a small remote control, "and I won't lose to her."  
  
Misato tried to grab the control from the other woman, but she wasn't fast enough. Ritsuko pushed the button.  
  
"My... God..." Shinji breathed in horror. Misato turned around to see what was wrong... and froze in place.  
  
Inside the tank, a red light was flashing... and the clones were breaking apart.  
  
"AHH!!!" Shinji clapped his hands over his ears and closed his eyes as the clones died... still sounding their childish, ethereal giggle.  
  
"Stop this!!!" Misato yelled, "Stop it now!!"  
  
Ritsuko shook her head, "It can't be stopped..." she said flatly, "now there will only ever be her and-" her voice cut off abruptly. She frowned, her finger hovering over a second button on the control. -I... I can't...- she thought, -she hasn't done anything wrong. She hasn't had the chance...-  
  
Misato interrupted her thoughts by cocking the hammer on her pistol, "Drop the control, Ritsu." She commanded, her voice hard.  
  
-Yes,- Ritsuko thought, ignoring Misato, -she deserves a chance.-   
  
She deactivated the control, and set it gently on the floor.  
  
Continued...  
  
Author's notes: ((sigh)) just three more chapters to go... ((stretch)) Sorry it's taking so long... I never thought it would be this hard to say what I was trying to say...  
  
Thanks to Ryoma for pre-reading once again.  
  
Feedback is always welcome at random1377@yahoo.com  
  
  



	11. Imperfect Halo

Disclaimer: I own no rights to Evangelion... my name isn't Gainax (in case you don't get it, I'll spell it out for you: G A I N A X O W N S A L L R I G H T S T O E V A N G E L I O N.) I present you with: Deviance 10. Enjoy.   
  
Part 10   
  
(Episode 24)   
Imperfect Halo   
By Random1377   
  
Shinji Ikari knocked softly on the door of room three-oh-three, then opened it slowly and stepped inside, a soft frown on his face. Touji Suzuhara looked up for only a moment, barely acknowledging Shinji's presence with a slight nod before returning his attention to Hikari's inert form.   
  
Shinji walked over to his friend and put his hand lightly on his shoulder. He did not ask how the other boy's wife was doing - he didn't have to... the array of life-support machines that she was connected to spoke eloquently enough.   
  
Nor did he ask how Touji was... again, a look was all he needed. He wondered if Touji had slept at all in the week and a half since Unit 00 had been destroyed. The boy looked like death warmed-over, and smelled as if he had not showered in that time, either. Shinji knew that he, himself, wasn't sleeping very well.   
  
Asuka tried to make it better for him, going out of her way to be sweeter and more loving than ever before... but nothing helped. Shinji could not erase the memory of the dying clones in that deep vault underground... nor could he forget Hikari's softly whispered, 'Sorry...' - the last word she spoke before passing out.   
  
The word that might very well be her last... the word he knew so well.   
  
He wanted desperately to use that word now, to somehow force it to make everything alright... but he couldn't. He couldn't push it past his lips, and he knew that if he did it would mean nothing to his friend anyway.   
  
So he stood in silence, just being there... wishing with all of his heart that he could trade places with Hikari... that he could see Touji happy again.   
  
Touji looked up at him and smiled, thanking Shinji for coming to see them without saying a word.   
  
Somehow, both of them felt that saying something would be blasphemous just then - like maintaining their silence somehow made a difference to the stricken girl lying in the bed. Or perhaps... that saying anything about how either of them was feeling, or about how they hoped she would wake, would in some way make them admit that this was all real.   
  
If they kept silent... maybe they could convince themselves that it was all a nightmare, and that they would wake up any time.   
  
They stayed that way for over an hour, just watching the smooth rise and fall of the dark-haired girl's chest, lost in their own thoughts. Finally, Shinji gave Touji's shoulder a gentle squeeze, and turned for the door.   
  
Touji watched him until he was at the door, then rose and crossed the room quickly. As Shinji turned to wave goodbye, Touji threw his arms around him and hugged him fiercely, silent tears running down his face as his body shook with repressed sobs.   
  
Shinji blinked in surprise, then carefully put his arms around his friend and held him as he wept, feeling awkward... but understanding completely...   
  
**   
  
Rei Ayanami climbed out of the entry plug feeling worn out. It had been a harder sync test than she was used to, and Shinji's continued avoidance of her had not made it easier. When he had come back from the mysterious meeting with Doctor Akagi, he had been paler that she was... and he had not been able to look her in the eyes. He had merely said, 'We need to go...' and left with Asuka after a mumbled apology.   
  
"I will wait until you are ready..." she whispered to herself as she walked towards the locker rooms. If there was one trait that Rei possessed above all others, it was patience. She wanted to discuss with him her feelings of kinship... but she was more than willing to wait until he got over whatever it was that was bothering him.   
  
The strange and sudden disappearance of the blonde head of the E-project also concerned her... though why, she could not say. She had not been close to the woman in any way, but she still felt nervous somehow about her abrupt departure. It corresponded too closely with Shinji's change in behavior.   
  
So wrapped up in her thoughts was she that she failed to notice Asuka Langley Souryu following her to the locker room with a pensive look on her face.   
  
In silence the two girls showered and dressed, Rei unmindful of the Second Child's presence until the redhead said, "Hey... Wondergirl... can I talk to you?"   
  
The fact that Asuka had spoken to her at all was a bit of a surprise, but the hesitant, almost diffident tone she used nearly floored the red-eyed girl. "Of course..." she said softly, buttoning up her school shirt.   
  
Asuka said nothing for a moment, then asked softly, "Has... Shinji talked to you at all recently?"   
  
Rei paused and turned to her, "He has greeted me when I see him," she said softly, "if you are asking if he has engaged in any conversation beyond that... no."   
  
Asuka frowned, "He hasn't... been talking much," she said closing her locker and folding her arms across her chest, "I'm... worried about him."   
  
Rei blinked, "You are his lover, are you not?" she probed softly, "If you were not concerned for him, I would not consider you worthy." She buttoned the last button and started for the door.   
  
Asuka's hand on her shoulder held her back. "What then, Rei?" the redhead said, her tone low and dangerous.   
  
The blue-haired girl did not turn, she merely replied levelly, "I would not allow you to be close to him."   
  
Asuka turned her around, not bothering to be gentle. "What is with you?" she said, her anger rising, "You act like YOU'RE his leibshin! And you wouldn't ALLOW me to see him? What's THAT about?"   
  
To her very great surprise, Rei smiled faintly. "It is not important, as you do care for him..." she leaned closer to the redhead, her tone becoming comforting, "I do not know what is wrong, Asuka... but I know that you must be the one to help him. Because he will listen to you, because he trusts you, and because he loves you." She gently pulled her arm away from the stunned girl and walked out the door.   
  
It wasn't until she had been gone for five full minutes that Asuka realized the red-eyed girl had called Shinji her lover.   
  
**   
  
Gendou Ikari stood in front of the tank, his brow drawn down as he regarded the dark-haired girl intently. "Are you there?" he asked softly.   
  
Silence was his only reply. The girl merely continued to float in the orange fluid, her hair making a dark, imperfect halo around her familiar features.   
  
Gendou sighed, "Foolish to think the destruction of Unit 00 would bring you back..." he said quietly, "though I admit I had hoped it might." He stepped closer to the glass, studying her carefully.   
  
-Didn't she just move?- he wondered. He shook his head, stepping back again, "But no..." he muttered regretfully, "your sacrifice has now become a true one. You gave your soul to EVA... and now it has fled." He briefly considered shutting down the tank and releasing her body from its eternal slumber... but he could not bring himself to do it.   
  
Not after what she had given... not after what she meant.   
  
Gendou found that there were no more words to say, so he turned and strode from the room, fully intending to never return.   
  
As he left, the girl's eyes opened, and she looked once more around her prison, hoping to find some means of escape that she had not noticed before. Her mouth opened, and her long-unused voice whispered a single word: "Shinji..."   
  
**   
  
Looking out over the small body of water that Unit 00's destruction had created, Shinji sighed. -Misato said it would have leveled half of the city if the other EVAs hadn't contained the blast with their fields,- he thought with a frown, -Unit 04 would have been... there...- His eyes traversed the area that would have been atomized had Hikari not stood fast.   
  
"Could I have done it?" he whispered to himself, "Or would I have failed?"   
  
Somehow, he knew that he would not have been that strong. He frowned as he became aware of another presence. He turned to find a boy about his age standing almost directly beside him, gazing out over the lake.   
  
"A lovely evening..." the boy began quietly, "wouldn't you agree, Shinji Ikari?"   
  
Shinji blinked. His first reaction was to make an excuse and leave, possibly citing the need to be alone... but something about the other boy's quiet demeanor held him back.   
  
"Yes..." he conceded, "it is..." And it was, too. A light breeze was blowing, ruffling the other boy's gray hair and taking some of the edge off of the heat of the day. "How do you know my name?" he asked the boy after a moment of silence.   
  
The boy turned, meeting Shinji's cobalt eyes with his crimson ones and smiling softly. "Everyone knows who you are, Third Child..." he replied, "though I perhaps have a slight advantage over them..." he extended his hand, "I am Kaworu Nagisa... the Sixth Child."   
  
Shinji's shoulders slumped as he shook Kaworu's hand, "I see..." he said quietly, "you're... Hikari's replacement..."   
  
Kaworu's smile softened, "No," he corrected gently, "I am the replacement pilot for Unit 04. From all I have heard... Misses Suzuhara cannot be replaced."   
  
Shinji found that a lump was forming in his throat. "No..." he whispered, pushing his hands deep into his pockets, "she can't..."   
  
They stared out over the lake in silence for a few minutes, then Kaworu folded his arms and said quietly, "I apologize for eavesdropping when I first arrived, but I heard you speaking to yourself of the destruction of the 00 Unit... would you tell me about it? I have not had the chance to read the details of the mission as of yet..."   
  
Reluctantly, Shinji recounted the fight... outlining painfully his helplessness and his fear - wondering the whole time just why he was telling this stranger all of this.   
  
"I see..." the gray-haired boy said after Shinji had finished, "but you did help," he pointed out, "you spoke to the First and convinced her to eject."   
  
Shinji looked at his feet. "I... thought I was saving a friend, you know? But somehow I lost one instead..."   
  
Kaworu smiled softly, "You feel... responsible, yes?" He raised a hand as Shinji blinked and tried to stutter that this was not the case at all, "It is all over your features... it speaks from the slump of your shoulders... it whispers from the bags under your eyes... it screams from the quiet desperation in your voice. Only guilt produces such an effect." He shook his head, "And I do not understand why. You did all that you could do - even restricted in your entry plug, you managed to save a life. Do not treat that so lightly, Shinji... that is an affront to the Creator..."   
  
Shinji's eyes were wide as he stared at the Sixth Child. After a moment he broke eye contact, feeling oddly... relieved. On some level, deep down, he knew that this boy was right. -Why should his opinion matter?- he thought, -I've just met him... why should I care what he thinks?- But he knew that this was exactly why it mattered.   
  
Asuka was his lover... she would tell him he was in the right because of their feelings for each other. Misato was his guardian... she would tell him it was ok to keep him safe and happy. Touji was his friend... he would agree with him and stand by his side no matter what happened. And Rei... he didn't want to think about Rei. But this boy... this boy didn't know anything about him (other than what he had read in his profile), and here he was... offering him absolution and kindness - for no reason other than he felt Shinji deserved it.   
  
Shinji almost wept. "Thank you..." he said quietly.   
  
Kaworu's smile slipped a bit as Shinji turned away to collect himself. -You may not thank me when all is said and done...- he thought sadly, his mind turning over the mission he had to accomplish.   
  
The angel known as Tabris, the angel of free will, felt an odd sensation in his chest as Shinji turned back to him, smiling and trying to apologize for his behavior as he wiped his eyes... a feeling he had not experienced at any time in his fourteen years of private upbringing and training in the care of SEELE - the first stirrings of friendship...   
  
**   
  
A very quiet, very strange few weeks passed... in which time, Kaworu Nagisa grew to know each of the other EVA pilots.   
  
He learned of Asuka's secret love affair with her fellow pilot... and watched it strained by some unseen pressure on her young lover. He became aquatinted with Rei... and was pleased to find her quiet and perceptive - and only vaguely aware of her true nature. He got to know Misato and the rest of the bridge crew... unconsciously analyzing their strengths and weaknesses.   
  
He spent time with all of them, his feelings of trepidation and uncertainty growing with each day. He became - quite unexpectedly for both of them - Asuka's confidant, offering her advice on her relationship and finding himself in awe of her strength. He became Rei's friend... and possibly a bit more (at least, it might have become more, had he not been who - and what - he was). He tried to approach Touji... but was quietly, though politely, asked to leave.   
  
But of all of them, he grew the closest to Shinji. In the melancholy Third Child he found a soul almost identical to his own - a soul desperately seeking answers to questions that had none... a soul longing for someone to take it by the hand and lead it to a happier place... a soul that was sweet... and pure... and innocent - even in spite of all the wickedness it had seen.   
  
It was Shinji, and Shinji alone that kept Kaworu from his appointed task as long as possible - even in spite of the constant call of the Father, deep below the Earth... like a constant ringing in his ears... and the ever-more pressing orders of the SEELE members.   
  
Oh, how he longed to be the one to comfort that boy... to be the one to tell him it would be alright... to be the one he came to when he wept... to be the one he whispered 'I love you' to. For he DID love Shinji Ikari... not in the way that most would think, or even understand. No, Kaworu's love for Shinji was pure, and shinning... a non-sexual urge to protect and comfort a person he saw as the epitome of all that was good in the Lillim race.   
  
But even his love, as powerful as it was, could not silence the call from beneath the ground. And after a blissful, heavenly three weeks in his company... Kaworu knew it was time to fulfill his destiny...   
  
**   
  
"Now, why are we doing this?" Asuka asked, one eyebrow raised.   
  
She and Shinji were sitting in the entry plug for Unit 01, both in their plugsuits. Asuka was sitting to the side of the pilot's seat, her hand resting discretely on Shinji's.   
  
"This test is just something that Doctor Akagi had been thinking about for a while." Maya said into the microphone, "During the incident with the sixth angel, it was observed that your combined sync ratio was higher than either of your individual ones, but there was never a good time to explore the phenomenon further. Today I would like to get some basic readings in a non-stress situation."   
  
She entered a sequence on her keyboard, "Now, I want you to agree on an image and concentrate on it. The test will commence in one minute."   
  
"W-Would it be easier if we were holding hands?" Shinji asked hesitantly, then went on in a rush, "When we fought the angel I was nearly sitting on her lap... perhaps physical contact... umm... enhances the effect." Asuka looked at him, her face screaming, 'You are SO full of it!' but she smiled.   
  
Maya smiled too, she wasn't blind, "Good idea, Shinji. Asuka, would it be ok with you?"   
  
Asuka pretended to sound frustrated, "I guess if I HAVE too..."   
  
Maya tried not to laugh out loud, -Trying so hard to make people think they're just friends...- she blushed, thinking of herself and a certain someone doing the same, -I wonder if WE'RE that obvious...-   
  
Asuka looked at her lover's profile, her smile slipping away. -What can I do, baby?- she thought sadly, -Why won't you let me in?-   
  
It had been over a week and a half since they had last made love, and that time... hadn't gone so well. It had been awkward... and slightly sad - a mere shadow of the happy coupling she was used to. She had thought things were improving when Kaworu and Shinji got closer... but even that hadn't managed to keep him happy very long.   
  
"Hang on," Asuka said suddenly, leaning forward to switch off the internal camera in the plug, "we need to decide on an image, and knowing idiot-boy here, it could take more than a minute." She slid around until she was in his lap, one leg on either side of him, and leaned forward until she was resting against him, her hair floating all around his face. "Shinji..." she whispered, "please talk to me..."   
  
His entire body tensed and he looked away, "Asuka... I... there's nothing to talk about... I'm ok..."   
  
"Liar..." she said softly, a hurt look on her face, "you said you loved me... but you won't even talk to me about what's wrong..."   
  
He flinched, "I... Asuka, I do love you I just..." his voice cracked slightly, "I don't know how to tell you"   
  
She put a hand on each side of his face, "You can tell me anything..." she said softly, "is it..." now it was her voice that became unstable, "is there someone else, Shinji?"   
  
"No!" he said quickly, putting his arms around her, "no... I only ever want you..."   
  
She closed her eyes, some of her tension leaving her as she laid her head on his shoulder, "Then what is it, baby..." she pressed gently, "please tell me..."   
  
He took a deep breath, "I... ok. It's... about Rei..."   
  
As he spoke, her eyes slowly grew wider and wider. -Oh Shinji...- she thought, holding him tighter, -I didn't know... I'm sorry... you mother... oh, I'm so, so sorry...-   
  
When he finished, she pulled back slightly and kissed him. "I understand..." she whispered as she broke away, sliding back to the side of the pilot's chair and smiling softly, "when we get home, I'll help you forget..." she put a finger on his lips as he tried to speak, "not like that..." she said, "unless..." she added hopefully, "you want to..."   
  
"Maybe..." he said, caressing her cheek gently, "and I'm sorry that I've been... I'm sorry..."   
  
She smiled and reactivated the camera, "It's ok," she said reassuringly, "we'll talk about it later, I'm sure that Miss Ibuki's in a hurry to-" she cut off as she caught Shinji's deep, slightly confused frown. "What? What is it?"   
  
"Isn't that Kaworu?" he asked quietly, inclining his head towards the monitor.   
  
Asuka looked out, puzzled, "Yeah, I think it is..." she frowned, "is he... talking to my Unit 02?"   
  
Suddenly alarms started sounding from every direction, "What's going on!?" Shinji screamed, covering his ears.   
  
Asuka made no reply. Her eyes were fixed on the gray-haired boy who had just stepped off of the gantry and was floating on air... and the now-open eyes of Unit 02.   
  
**   
  
"Unit 02 has just gone active!" Hyouga shouted.   
  
"Asuka?" Misato said, leaning over his desk.   
  
He shook his head, "No, she's still in Unit 01's entry plug with Shinji." His eyes widened as he read the incoming data on his screen. "Impossible..." he whispered, then louder, "Unit 02's entry plug is not inserted - there's no one piloting it."   
  
The main screen flared to life and showed Unit 02, already free of its bindings and moving at top speed towards the shaft leading deeper into the complex. On its shoulder was the familiar form of the Sixth Child.   
  
"Who do we have that can intercept?" Misato replied.   
  
"Touji is in the infirmary with his wife, but we can't get him into Unit 03 before Unit 02 reaches Terminal Dogma, and Rei hasn't been seen at all today." Hyouga was sweating, -How could this happen?- he thought frantically, -How could HE be an angel??-   
  
Misato frowned deeply, trying to decide what to do.   
  
"Miss Ibuki," Gendou's voice spoke from behind her.   
  
Maya's voice replied over the speaker system, "Yes sir."   
  
"Launch Unit 01 to intercept Unit 02," he said coolly.   
  
Maya replied, "Yes sir, I'll just need a moment to eject the plug and get Asuka-"   
  
He cut her off, "There is no time, launch at once."   
  
Maya briefly considered telling him that this scenario may jeopardize both pilot's lives, but discarded the notion as she realized it would not change his order. She typed on her keyboard, speaking in as calm a voice as she could muster, "Unit 01, prepare for launch to intercept Evangelion Unit 02 along route number nine..." She hit the enter key, sending the huge mecha into motion, "go!"   
  
Asuka yelped in surprise as the mecha lurched... down. "What the hell!?" she shouted as they dropped, "You can't warn a person?!?"   
  
For the first time since Hikari got sick, Shinji laughed.   
  
**   
  
Rei stood silently in a hallway deep inside of Terminal Dogma, a slight frown on her face. "Why am I here?" she whispered to herself, ignoring the alarms sounding all around her, "What is this feeling... this call...?"   
  
A speaker on the wall came to life, "Unit 01 has reached the linear carriage and is beginning descent," it announced, "two minutes to contact with angel..."   
  
"Angel..." Rei said thoughtfully, "is that what you meant, Pilot Nagisa?" She lowered her head and closed her eyes, recalling their conversation of the previous week... the subtle hints... the desperate need for her to intuit something he could not say. She tried to focus on her body... or more precisely, her soul.   
  
"Unit 01 is engaging 02..." the speaker blared.   
  
Rei's eyes opened slowly and she nodded to herself. "I see..." she whispered, "even then, you knew how you wanted this game to play out. Very well... I will help you attain your freedom...."   
  
Abruptly, the blue-haired pilot broke into a run, heading for a room she could now feel calling to her... a room that held the flesh of the soul she possessed... a room where one of the last great battles would be fought for mankind's survival...   
  
**   
  
Metal screamed on metal... vibrating blades met and rebounded... desperate cries filled the air... and a gray-haired Child watched with a frown as two titans vied for dominance.   
  
"This, I still do not understand..." he whispered to himself, "the Evangelions are pale copies of the Father... a creature the Lillim abhor - and yet, they hesitate not at all to use them to fight His children..." He frowned, "Does this make them weak for relying on that which they hate to fight their battles for them? Or strong for being willing to go to any lengths to win?"   
  
"Kaworu!!" Shinji's voice rang out over Unit 01's external speakers, "Why are you doing this?"   
  
"That which was born of Adam must return to Adam," Kaworu replied sadly, "I am sorry it must be this way... my friend..."   
  
Shinji's reply became a cry of pain as Unit 02's progressive knife found Unit 01's shoulder. In the plug, Asuka gasped, feeling only an echo of the pain. -It's worse for him...- she thought suddenly, for the first time, not envying Shinji his higher sync rate.   
  
But having two people in charge DID have its advantages. Even as Shinji was crying out, Asuka was willing Unit 01 to move, swinging the heavy Prog knife in an underhand arc and burying it in the side of Unit 02's neck with a cry half of victory and half of sadness. -Sorry...- she thought as the red mecha shook.   
  
She withdrew the knife to prepare for a second blow, but was interrupted as both Units finished their descent and hit the ground with a jarring impact.   
  
Shaking his head to clear it, Shinji looked out to find Kaworu staring at the fallen Units with a sad expression on his face. "Kaworu!!" he called, willing the purple machine to stand.   
  
The gray-haired boy made no reply... he simply turned and began floating away.   
  
Shinji tried to follow, but found his movements restricted as Unit 02 grabbed Unit 01 around the ankle.   
  
"Sorry honey..." Shinji whispered. Asuka flinched, but said nothing as Shinji brought the progressive knife down on Unit 02's neck.   
  
**   
  
"I've just lost contact with both Units! AT field detected!!" Hyouga called out, his voice on the verge of breaking.   
  
"Makoto..." Misato said softly, her voice instantly calming him, "if we can't reestablish a link with Unit 01 in the next five minutes..."   
  
"I know," he replied, bowing his head, "activate the self-destruct..."   
  
"I'm sorry," she said simply, looking away from him.   
  
"I don't mind..." he said, a slight flush on his cheeks, "as long as it's with you..."   
  
"Thank you..." she replied, still unwilling to face him.   
  
Nothing more was said... nothing more NEEDED to be said. Together, they waited for the end to come.   
  
**   
  
"Which way did he go?" Asuka asked, looking around frantically, "We have to find him, fast!"   
  
"That way," Shinji said, his voice sounding distant "he went that way..."   
  
She paused. "We... have to stop him, you know that... don't you Shinji?"   
  
"I... yeah... I know..." he replied, his voice barely audible.   
  
Asuka cast him a concerned glance, then put her hands on top of his and pushed forward, willing Unit 01 into motion. -This has to be hell for him...- she thought sadly, thinking of how happy he was while spending time with Kaworu.   
  
**   
  
Rei watched from her vantage point, high above the giant creature on the red cross. "Hello..." she whispered quietly, "mother..."   
  
She felt oddly... conflicted. She knew that this creature, this ANGEL, was the source of the soul the dwelled within her... but she felt a smaller, subtler pull - as if there was something else, just out of sight, calling for her.   
  
Unbeknownst to Rei, a greater truth was closer than she ever would have dreamed... held securely in a small room, pressed frantically up against the inside of the tank marked Prime... calling out to her in silent frustration.   
  
And she might have heard that call, or found her way there on her own... had the Sixth Child not floated calmly into the room, attracting her full attention. She frowned slightly as the boy stood in front of the white being, clearly hearing every word that was spoken.   
  
"You must not be allowed..." she whispered to herself. She closed her eyes, and imagined herself in Unit 00 once more. She concentrated on the sensation of spreading the Unit's AT field... and smiled in satisfaction as she felt her own, inherited field expanding to mix with and negate the effects of the last angel's.   
  
She opened her eyes in time to witness Unit 01 enter the room and seize the Sixth in its mighty fist.   
  
**   
  
Asuka was shaking with fear and spent adrenaline. -Why did he pause...- she thought, unable to comprehend the fact that she was still alive, -why didn't he just do it? I don't understand...-   
  
Shinji voiced her thought perfectly in one, simple word: "Why?"   
  
The gray haired boy looked at Unit 01 steadily, "Only one race shall survive this conflict, Shinji..." he said, his voice sad, "life and death are equal to me - but you... you deserve to live. You burn so bright, I... I won't be the one to take that light away..." He sighed, "so you must erase me."   
  
"Why me?" Shinji asked, looking at Asuka's profile, "Why us?"   
  
Kaworu sighed. "It had to be the two of you," he said with a gentle smile, "you compliment one another... together, you are as one." His eyes rose to meet Rei's, "You are the only two I would accept defeat from. Now please... end it."   
  
A tear fell from Rei's eye. "Yes," she whispered, answering the question his eyes asked, "I will... when the time comes, I will..."   
  
As Kaworu smiled and brought his attention back to Unit 01, Shinji spoke again. "Kaworu..." he said softly, "I... I can't do this. You're my friend..."   
  
Before Kaworu could reply, Asuka said softly, "Shinji... honey... close your eyes..." A fragment of a conversation held two weeks prior came back to her, Kaworu's words echoing in her mind... finally making sense: 'You must be what he is not - cannot - be... you must.'   
  
Shinji's eyes flew to hers, his mouth working as he tried to protest. She smiled, caressing his cheek with her left hand. "Just close your eyes..." she repeated, "and tell me that you love me. Tell me you would do anything for me, Shinji... because I would do anything for you..."   
  
With a sob, Shinji clenched his eyes shut. "I love you, Asuka..." he whimpered. He felt her lips brush his right cheek... then his left, claiming the tears that had started to fall. Then she was kissing him softly, promising him without saying a word that she would make everything alright.   
  
And after a moment of silence... he felt her right hand contract sharply... and knew it was all over...   
  
**   
  
Misato stared out into the cool night, trying to pretend that the Child she had grown to love as her own had not been broken by this latest turn of events. It had been two hours so far... and he had not spoken one word since telling Asuka that he loved her. "Shinji?" she said, for the fortieth time, "Please talk to us..."   
  
He looked up at her from the safe circle of Asuka's arms, but said nothing. Misato knew that he had been close to the Sixth Child... and that Asuka had too, but she could not get her mind around how hard he was taking it.   
  
-He was an ANGEL!- her mind screamed, -He doesn't deserve Shinji's tears...- Out loud she said, "Shinji... you don't have to feel bad that he died. He CHOSE to end it this way... he CHOSE to drag you and Asuka into this... that's not the act of a friend..."   
  
Asuka's crystal eyes rose to find her guardian's. "Misato..." she whispered quietly, cradling her love gently in her arms, "you're cruel."   
  
Misato flinched and felt a flush rising on her cheeks. "I..." she took a deep breath, steeling herself against the backlash she anticipated for the words she was about to utter. "Yes, I am..." she said levelly, holding Asuka's eyes, "but not as cruel as a boy that pretends to be your friend, then betrays you and forces you to kill him." She was aware that she was shaking with rage, but did not care. She WOULD make her feelings known - even if it meant ostracizing both pilots to do it. "If he was so damn noble, he should have killed himself - THAT would have been the action of a true frie-"   
  
Never before, and never after... did Asuka see Shinji move as fast as he did then. He was out of her arms and in front of Misato before she could even blink... and she winced at the sharp crack that seemed to echo in her ears as he slapped the purple-haired woman as hard as he could. "How DARE you..." the Third Child hissed, shaking with rage, "how dare you try and make me hate him! I don't care if YOU do! That's your business. But don't you EVER try and make me hate him, do you hear me?"   
  
Misato turned slowly back to face him, ignoring the thin line of blood running from the corner of her mouth. "Shinji..." she said softly, her voice on the verge of breaking, "I'm... sorry..." finally, she started crying... dropping to her knees and looking up to his eyes as she spoke. "You... can't understand how much I care for you..." she whispered, "since Kaji... left, you're the most important thing in my life. I... I only want to protect you... to shield you..." her head bowed, tears rolling down her face, "I hate myself for not seeing what he was before he got close to you... before he hurt you like this..."   
  
She closed her eyes as she wept, no longer able to look at him. Her heart stopped as she felt his arms gently pulling her closer to him, "Misato..." he whispered, his breath tickling her cheek, "I'm sorry that I slapped you... but please... please don't try and make Kaworu into a monster. He gave his life so we could live... he was... a better person than I'll ever be..."   
  
She sniffed, trying to control her tears. "Don't say that..." she whispered, opening her eyes to look at him, "you are the BEST person I know. You're loving, caring, honest..." she smiled, "and from what I hear, a fantastic kisser..."   
  
Asuka blushed, "Misato!" she gasped, "I... that was a secret!!"   
  
Shinji smiled, feeling some of the sadness leave him at the indignant sound of his girlfriend's voice. "You said I was only so-so..." he said, smiling at Misato. Since his back was to Asuka, he knew she couldn't see, and he was pleased to see Misato's soft sigh of relief.   
  
"I - no I didn't!" Asuka protested, sounding flustered, "I... I said that... that we could always improve!"   
  
Shinji couldn't hold his mirth back anymore. He threw his arms around Misato and hugged her tightly as he laughed.   
  
Asuka's eyes widened, then narrowed. "Oh! Oh that's REAL funny!" she said indignantly, turning away and folding her arms with a huff, "Maybe you'd like to see how long you can go with NO kisses at all! Maybe I should just-"   
  
"Sorry..." Shinji whispered, wrapping his arms around her from behind and kissing her neck.   
  
She turned to face him, her mouth open to launch a scathing verbal assault. Seeing his face, she changed her mind and grabbed him around the waist, pulling his lips to hers. After thirty-five seconds of intense kissing, she pushed him away, smiling with satisfaction as he landed on his rear, a dazed (but happy) look on his face. "THERE!" she said with a sniff, "It's the last you'll be getting for a long time, Third Child! I hope it was worth it!"   
  
Shinji looked at Misato, who had regained her composure and was again looking off into the distance... a soft smile on her lips. "It was..." he said, rising to his feet. He folded his arms and stood beside his guardian, letting a comfortable silence descend.   
  
Asuka matched their stance, frowning as she thought, -If he thinks I'm joking he's got another thing coming!-   
  
Her vow lasted exactly one hour and thirty-two minutes... and was given up with not so much as an 'I told you it would never last' from her young lover - which was good, or she might have killed him. Either that, or she would have made him go for another hour and a half...   
  
Which they both agreed later on would have been worse than Third Impact itself.   
  
Continued...   
  
Author's notes: Yes, yes... I know... I'm the slowest author on the surface of the Earth... sorry. I'll try really hard to get the next chapter (the one that reveals all the secrets... hehehe) out sooner than this one. Someone asked me why Kaworu would take Unit 02 and not 04. The answer to this can be found in Episode 24 of the series - Kaworu states that Unit 02's soul has 'Hidden itself away', and that's how he could take control of it. What about Unit 04? Well... re-read chapter 6 of this story or wait for the next chapter to find out what its soul is up to ;) but suffice it to say that 04 cannot be taken by him - and for more reasons than just this. Oh, and before anyone asks 'why not use Unit 03', re-read chapter 9 :)   
  
Pre-read thanks goes to Ryoma and Lord Deathscythe. Thanks guys!   
  
Feedback is always welcome at random1377@yahoo.com


	12. Faith

Disclaimer: Evangelion is a lovely show, but I don't own the rights to it, Gainax does. I'm just writing a little fan fiction based on their work, and I really hope they don't sue me for it. This is Deviance part 11, which corresponds to Episode 25', also known as End of Evangelion part 1: AIR/Love is destructive, and takes place directly after Episode 24. I will not be making a counterpart for the TV episode 25 and 26, because… well… I don't want to. :)

Part 11

(Episode 25)

Faith

By Random1377

Kimiko Suzuhara knew something bad was going to happen. 

It's not that she was psychic, or had any kind of sixth sense – indeed, the basic senses that she DID posses had been severely hampered by her injuries… though against all odds, she actually _was_ getting better.

No, it was more a premonition. A feeling that things were just not _quite_ right with the world.

"So… she's doing worse?" she asked quietly, willing her young visitor to look her in the eyes.

The brown-haired boy fidgeted with his identification badge, the name Shinji Ikari plainly visible every time it turned to face her. "Yeah…" he admitted, staring at the badge as he turned it over and over, "they're… worried that she…" he trailed off.

"Mister Ikari," Kimiko prodded, using his last name to ensure that she had his attention, "please tell me. Is my sister going to die?"

Shinji flinched. "Maybe…" he whispered after a moment's quiet.

The young girl nodded slowly. She had only gotten to see her new sister a few times before she was hurt, but she had taken to Hikari very quickly – so much so that she ignored the 'in-law' title and skipped straight to calling her sister. Not that Hikari minded… she was equally enamoured of her husband's little sister.

"Touji… had to leave her alone to have a sync test," Shinji said quietly, "he hardly ever leaves her." Hikari's room and Kimiko's room were on different levels of NERV. Since Hikari's condition was so unique, she had been moved deeper into the complex, were the more sensitive life-monitoring equipment was kept.

"I know," Kimiko replied gently, "he told me. He only leaves her to see me and to shower." She paused, "He's… a good person."

Shinji smiled, staring down at the floor. "Yes he is…"

"So are you," Kimiko whispered, feeling her strength starting to fade. Though she was improving, it was still a strain to sit up for long periods of time. 

Her eyes began to slip closed.

-No I'm not!- Shinji's mind screamed, -I've killed… killed someone I cared for. You don't do that if you're good!- "Thank you," he said, his voice sounding hollow.

As he stood, Kimiko smiled, forcing her eyes to open again. "Please stay a while longer… can you?" she asked softly, "I… can you please stay?" She had been on the verge of saying, 'I don't think I'll see you again if you leave now', but realized how odd that would sound.

"Sure," Shinji replied, sitting back down, "Asuka had some tests, too, so I've got nowhere else to be for a while." –She'll understand if I'm a _little_ late,- he thought, remembering his promise to meet her there.

"Thank you," she said through an expansive yawn, "just… don't want to be alone…" she let her eyes close again and was soon asleep.

Shinji sighed deeply, thinking of how alone he felt lately, and how he knew he would have to move on soon… or go insane.

Neither of them had any idea that by asking him to stay, Kimiko had saved Shinji's life.

**

"How much longer?" Asuka asked irritably, "I've got things to do, you know…"

"Just a few more minutes," Maya assured her, "only a few more checks to go."

"Ok…" the redhead replied, easing back in her seat. In the week since the last angel, Shinji had been more quiet and reserved that normal, though Asuka was sure that the talk with Misato had halted what would have been an otherwise gruesome downward spiral.

In odd contrast, Rei had become more talkative than before – or rather, she responded in sentences longer than five words, which to Asuka made the blue-haired girl seem downright gabby.

"Can't we hurry this up?" Touji chimed in, his voice soft, "I need to get back to Hikari…"

"I know," Maya answered soothingly, "really… just a few more minutes. Thanks for being so patient, I know Sempai got things done a lot faster…"

"It's ok," Asuka sighed, "we just both… you know…"

"I understand," Maya acknowledged, trying to speed up the tests.

She was glad that Asuka and Shinji had finally dropped the pretense and stated for everyone to know that they were dating, and she had been outright shocked by the Commander's reply to their declaration.

'Maintain your sync-ratios,' Gendou had said.

That was it. Just four words on the matter, and he had left the room.

Maya wondered idly if the Commander would be as lenient with her situation. Relationships between coworkers were not exactly prohibited, but they _were_ frowned upon. That the pilots were allowed that luxury meant nothing, really, as they were exceptions to almost every rule.

"Five more minutes and-"

Maya's assurance was cut short as the general alarm began sounding.

"What the hell?" Touji muttered, "Is that a test or something?"

"I'm afraid not," Misato's voice replied over the com system, her tone grim, "we've got intruders in the main building, and more troops coming… it's an invasion."

"Invasion?" Asuka wondered, "Why? By who?"

"The JSSDF and the Chinese government," Misato replied.

"Why? I thought they were on our side?"

"They were…" the purple-haired woman said hurriedly, "but since the angels are all gone, we've become too big a risk to just let run-"

"Hikari!!" Touji blurted, "I have to get to her!"

"I'm with her right now," Misato's voice answered soothingly, "we're going to put her in Unit 04 and launch it underwater… she'll be safe there."

"Thank you, Misato…" the boy said, relieved.

"Of course," she said softly, "but I'm afraid I have to ask you two to help defend headquarters… it will mean fighting people…"

"Understood," Asuka said, nodding her head, "we'll do what we have to, Misato…"

"Then launch," Misato replied, her voice tense, "they've already killed a number of good people. I plan to get Shinji to Unit 01 and then flood the halls with Bakelite. It will slow the soldiers down for a while… and maybe we can get some assistance from other countries."

She hesitated. "I know that the United States, at least, has been a strong supporter of what we do…" she said tentatively, "I don't think they'll sit still for this. The trick will be to contact them – and to hold out until they get here. You two destroy anything that has a radar dish or antenna, we have to make sure our communications are not cut off…"

"Got it," the two Children replied at the same time.

"Ok," the purple-haired woman said, her voice becoming brisk, "I'm going to find your boyfriend, Asuka."

"Give him a slap when you do," Asuka answered, "I told him to be here an hour ago so we could go to dinner after the tests…"

Misato laughed. "I'll think about it. Out."

**

Shinji looked out the door and frowned. "Everyone's running around like crazy," he said softly, "I don't know what's going on…"

"Mister Ikari…" Kimiko said softly.

"Hmmm?" he replied absently, still looking out at the scrambling technicians.

"Go now…" the girl said, gently.

"What?" he asked, turning to face her, "I can't just leave y-"

"Go… now…" she repeated, "you need to do something for me."

He frowned, confused. "What do you need?"

"I need you…" she began softly, "to protect me."

His eyes widened, "But if I leave, then I-"

"With your EVA…" she interrupted him. "Can't you hear it?" she said sadly, "The gun shots? They're killing people, Mister Ikari… and they won't stop unless someone stops them…"

"But how can I stop them with EVA?" he asked, feeling more confused than ever at the young girl's odd reasoning.

"If you fight…" she whispered, "they'll back off. Nothing can stop an EVA…"

"But people will die if I do that…" he whispered, "I can't kill anymo-"

"More people will die if you do nothing," she said calmly, "and everyone you know will be gone."

He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. –God in Heaven, she's too young to be talking this way…- The irony of the fact that he was too young to be saving the world was lost on him as he answered, "Ok… I'll go…"

As he reached for the door, she giggled. "Not that way, dummy… go through a vent, or something… like in the movies – that way they won't get you."

He smiled at her logic, then looked thoughtfully at the grill over her bed…

Ten minutes later, four JSSDF soldiers stormed the room… pumping fifteen rounds of high caliber ammunition into the bed before making their exit.

Curled in a ball, protected by the bed's steel frame, Kimiko allowed herself a small sigh of relief. –Hurry, Mister Ikari…- she thought, drifting off to sleep in spite of the turmoil in the halls outside, -hurry…-

**

"We launched… for this?" Asuka said disgustedly as another group of VTOLs swarmed Unit 02.

Touji's voice came back to her, sounding annoyed, "You would rather they all attack headquarters and kill everyone?"

Unit 02 slapped the offending vehicles from the sky with effortless ease, "No… I'm just saying it doesn't seem fair. It's like the old saying about using a cannon to swat a fly."

"Multiple inbound targets," Hyouga's voice reached them, "big ones… EVA carriers…"

As Unit 02 crushed the last of the attacking machines, Asuka willed its head to come up. "You've got to be kidding me," she said disgustedly, "the EVA series has been completed? And we have to FIGHT them??"

"I don't think it's a joke…" Touji said, sounding vaguely ill as the huge black planes dropped their cargo, "guess us launching was a good idea…"

Asuka made no reply… she just sighed and shook her head. –Great…-

**

Shinji peeked around the corner, then ducked back. 

"Lovely…" he muttered to himself, "crawl through a ventilation shaft, and what do I get? Filthy… scraped… and lost."

He sighed, thinking that maybe taking the advice of a grade-schooler on escape routes was perhaps not the best idea.

-No matter what happens,- he thought suddenly, -I won't run anymore… I'm so tired of running.- He leaned back against the wall and closed his eyes. –Rei… Asuka… Misato… Kimiko… they're all right – I've been running away. Now it's time to fight. Now I have to-

__

Click

His thought was interrupted as he felt the cool barrel of a pistol press against his temple.

"We've found the Third," the soldier holding the gun said, "proceeding with elimination."

-Well,- Shinji thought with a trace of irony, -guess it's not time to fight after all… at least not for me…-

"Sorry kid," the soldier said quietly, motioning for his two companions to step back, "don't take it personally."

Shinji briefly considered telling the man that he really didn't see any other way to take it, and if it was all the same to him, he'd rather not take it at all.

Instead, he closed his eyes, holding in his mind an image of Asuka and offering a silent prayer that she would make it through unscathed.

The sound of the gun sounded small to him. –Shouldn't I not be able to hear it?- he thought in the split second before another shot was heard, -Shouldn't I not be able to think? Shouldn't I be dead??-

He opened his eyes… and was just in time to see Misato ramming her fist into the last remaining soldier's gut (the other two were already lying on the ground in spreading pools of blood).

"Please don't take this personally," the purple-haired woman mocked, pushing the man's head back up against the wall and pulling the trigger on her pistol.

As the man slumped to the ground, Shinji just stood there staring at his guardian.

"What?" Misato said, flushing slightly, "He said it first…"

"It's not that…" Shinji said, looking down at the three dead men, "I was just thinking that it was really lucky you came down this hall…"

"Wasn't luck," she said with a smile, "I put a tracker on you two days ago… I thought you would run away again, and I didn't want to go looking all over creation for you."

She shrugged as he stared at her, dumbfounded.

"Anyway," she said after a beat, "there's an elevator not _too_ far from here that leads straight to the EVA cages…" she paused, eyeing him speculatively before saying, "I need you to pilot, Shinji…"

He said nothing, just stared at the bodies.

-Damn,- she thought, -he's too shocked… he's not going to do it…- she stepped forward, opening her mouth to try and convince him it was the only way… but stopping as he looked at her and smiled.

"Well," he said after a brief pause, "I don't imagine it's going to come to us…"

Misato stared at him, forgetting to close her mouth and wondering who had taken the sad, sullen boy who had been moping around her apartment for the past week and replaced him with this level-headed young man.

"Come on," she said finally, breaking into a broad grin, "let's get you there…"

As they began hurrying towards the emergency elevator, Misato allowed herself to think that maybe, just maybe… things might turn out ok…

**

As the white EVAs floated down, Touji spoke calmly to Asuka, "I count nine of them… nine versus the two of us. Pretty bad odds if you ask me, Souryu."

Asuka's voice came back to him, sounding confident, "Yeah, four and a half for each of us… means we get to play tug of war with the last one." He smiled in spite of himself as the first EVA touched down. "Besides," Asuka continued, "Shinji will be here soon, and then it will be three each."

As they positioned their EVAs back to back Touji said softly, "Asuka? If I don't make it… tell Hikari that I loved her more than anything… ok?"

From the corner of his eye, he saw Unit 02 crouch as she replied, "Tell her yourself, Suzuhara. Now let's get to work!"

The red EVA sprang into action so fast that the white one she was facing barely had time to raise its head before she leapt into the air and tore it from the creature's shoulders. Letting her momentum carry her forward, Asuka landed behind the white EVA and caught it on her back as it fell. Raising it over her head, she pulled downwards and outwards, tearing it cleanly in half.

Touji just watched, stunned by the swiftness and ferocity of the attack.

Asuka's voice came to him over the EVA's sound system, sounding satisfied, 

"Erste!"

**

"That's it," Misato announced, sounding relieved, "just through that door, into the elevator, and two minutes later – we're at Unit 01!"

"I hope everyone's ok," Shinji said, "I'm really wor-"

"MOVE!" Misato yelled suddenly, grabbing Shinji's shoulder and shoving him towards the door as gunfire sounded from the level just below them.

As they reached the door, Misato gasped and lost her footing, collapsing to the ground as the door slid shut behind them.

"Are you ok?" Shinji asked, panting for breath.

When she didn't reply right away, he turned to look at her… and a low moan of despair slipped past his lips. 

"It's… not bad," the purple-haired woman said, smiling as she forced herself to her feet… her hand clenching firmly over her side.

"You're bleeding…" he said, his voice small.

"Shinji," she replied, "get in the elevator…"

"W-what?" he stammered, mesmerized by the small trickle of blood at the corner of her mouth, "Come on, Misato… we have to get-"

She pushed him back up against the elevator's door, shaking her head slowly. "Go…" she whispered, taking his hand, "I'll catch the next one…"

His eyes widened as he felt a familiar cross shape press into his palm. "But… but I need you…" he stammered, "who else is going to tell me what to do… who else is going to help me when I'm in trouble…" he tried to stave off his tears, "who else is going to be there when I come home?"

Misato leaned forward, whispering, "You know who…" 

Gently, she pressed her lips against his forehead, trying to convey all that she felt but had never spoken in that one, delicate kiss.

Shinji closed his eyes, torn between his urge to fight and defend his loved ones… and his desire to save his guardian.

Slowly she pulled away, "You're the only one who can protect her now."

"Come with me," he said urgently, "please. We can get you help, we can-"

"Go now…" she said, smiling gently as she put her hand squarely on his chest, "make me proud…"

Shinji drew a breath to reply, but didn't get the chance as Misato pushed him firmly through the door.

As the elevator slid shut, Misato sighed. "I did my best… didn't I?"

Silence was her only reply.

"I should have… changed the carpet, like Asuka said…" she whispered, her mind starting to wander as she finally slid to the floor, "she was right… it was filthy…"

A coughing fit seized her, blood running more freely from her mouth… and the wound in her side. She knew her time was short, and hoped with all of her heart that Shinji would be able to save the others.

A movement caught her attention, and she looked up, her eyes widening.

"Kaji…" she whispered, her voice low and broken as she sought validation, "did I do alright?"

The apparition before her smiled and nodded, kneeling in front of her. It touched her face gently, and all of her pain faded away.

A gentle sigh escaped her, and the labored rise and fall of her chest slowed… and finally stopped.

Misato Katsuragi went willingly to the arms of her lover, leaving her body behind… as a tremendous explosion eradicated it in a burst of fire…

**

In the rising elevator, Shinji was trying to hold back his tears. He kept wiping at his eyes, the cool chain of Misato's cross pendant brushing his skin from time to time.

The elevator shook momentarily as an explosion rocked it. His eyes widened… then slipped closed as he couldn't contain his sorrow anymore.

"Misato…" he sobbed.

He knew she was gone. Even if the blast hadn't killed her, the gunshot would have. He put his head in his hands, his body shaking as he wept for the woman that had somehow become like a second mother.

As the elevator stopped and slid open, he remembered something she had told him when he had first arrived. 'No one is keeping you here… if you want to leave, there's the door!' He smiled, remembering how angry she'd been… and how caring she had turned out to be later.

He wiped away his tears and rose to his feet, slipping the necklace over his head.

"I know where the door is…" he whispered, holding her face firmly in his mind, "and I won't run away…"

He stepped out of the elevator… and into his worst nightmare…

**

Touji knew he was in trouble. Unit 03 was almost out of power, and the white EVA in front of him was not going down. "Asuka? Little help over here?"

"Just a minute, Suzuhara, I can't be everywhere!" Asuka no longer sounded confident, and Touji risked a look out of the corner of his eye. He could see Unit 02 on it's back, with one hand wrapped around the haft of a lance that was being driven slowly forward by one of the other EVAs. Her other hand was reaching behind her EVA, grasping frantically for a weapon of some sort.

-Damn,- he thought, as he sidestepped a thrust from the white EVA's lance, -Where is Shinji?!-

It was bad enough that his umbilical cable had been severed in the first encounter with the creatures… and that he had nearly been killed by the very first attack.

As he dodged again, he thought of the moment of panic he had felt when the white EVA's weapon had come in contact with his AT field… then bent and warped, changing to the familiar shape of the Lance of Longinus.

If Unit 02 had not tackled his Unit, he would have just stood there as it punched through his field and impaled him.

"Come on, buddy…" he whispered, circling the other Unit cautiously, "come bail us out…"

**

"No…" Shinji whispered quietly.

He was staring at Unit 01, the last hope of everyone and everything on Earth. He was staring at the Bakelite that encased it, ensuring that it would not go anywhere.

His knees buckled and he fell to the ground, tears welling up in his eyes, "No… no this can't be happening."

The speakers in the cage relayed the sounds of the battle raging above him, "YES!" Asuka's voice rang out in triumph, "Now I can help you, Touj-" she trailed off, then yelled, "TOUJI!!!" 

Shinji heard Maya's shaky voice, gunfire echoing in the background, "Unit 03 has gone silent!!"

Shinji's hands curled into fists, and he pounded the railing in impotent fury, "NO!!!! It can't end like this!" Tears streamed down his face, "Please… please God… anyone help me!! FATHER!! Touji… Asuka… please, let me help them… please…"

He put his head in his hands and sobbed, and so missed the fact that the Bakelite had begun to shudder ever so slightly.

**

Screaming, Asuka slammed into the last EVA just before it could impale the powerless Unit 03 with its lance. Pinning it to the ground with her EVA's legs, she drove Unit 02's stiffened fingers into the other EVA's throat, satisfied with the sickening crunch that resulted. The EVA shook once, and became still. Nodding grimly to herself, Asuka rose and moved to Touji's EVA.

"Touji! Touji are you ok?" Asuka reached down and tore the back off of the heavily damaged Unit 03, causing the entry plug to auto-eject and vent its LCL. The hatch opened, and Touji climbed shakily out.

He looked up at her EVA, smiling weakly, then frowned and yelled, "Asuka, watch out!!"

Asuka felt a bright flare of pain assail her senses. Looking down, she found that she was bleeding from two holes in her side. She turned her EVA's head and looked around.

One of the fallen white EVAs was behind her, it's lance buried in her Unit's back.

She watched in horror as all around, the fallen EVAs began to regenerate and rise to their feet, "No…" she whispered.

**

Hikari Suzuhara was dreaming. That was the only explanation she could come up with. She was floating in a dark void, but she could still see her features.

"What is this place?" she wondered out loud, not really expecting a response.

"This is the boundary," a soft female voice replied, seemingly from a great distance, "the boundary of the soul."

Hikari looked around, trying to find the source of the voice, "Why am I here?"

The voice became sad and far away, "You are here because someone poisoned you… and you are on the cusp of life and death."

Hikari gasped, "Why? Why would someone poison me? I… I don't want to die…"

"They did it to prevent you and me from fulfilling our destinies… I will help you, if you want me too…" The voice sounded familiar to Hikari, but she could not place it.

"Yes," she answered, "please help me… I have to… I have to get back to Touji."

The voice grew closer, whispering warmly, "Yes… Touji… your husband. I like him, Hikari, you chose wisely…"

Hikari felt a… presence… brush past her, and she felt her limbs become light, "Wha-What's happening?"

"You are returning to yourself. I have done all I can, my sweet one, the rest is in your hands… remember that you are loved, and that those you love need you… and be strong…" The voice was growing fainter.

"Thank you…" Hikari whispered.

In the entry plug of Unit 04, she opened her eyes.

**

Asuka had had better days. The EVA series had fallen fairly easily the first time, but they were learning… and they were getting faster.

"Shiest!!" Asuka cursed as she dodged yet another spear, throwing her EVA to side.

The situation looked bad. Touji had taken cover somewhere, so Asuka was not worried about him… this time she was worried about herself.

Blood was running freely from the two holes in her side, and she had only narrowly avoided being impaled by eight other spears like the one that was still stuck in her EVA's side. The only thing that had saved her that time was her quick idea to bring both of her EVA's fists down on the lance itself, snapping it in half and causing her to fall. The fall had saved her, allowing the other lances to fly right over her head.

Somehow in all of the fighting, her umbilical cable had been severed.

She dodged a quick punch from one of the white EVAs and countered with a roundhouse kick, breaking the thing's neck, -Ok… it's down for a couple minutes,- she thought desperately, -Shinji, where are you!?- She risked a quick look at the timer behind her, -Great!- She thought, -three minutes…-

The pain in her side suddenly became more pronounced, "Wha...?" Asuka looked around to see one of the white EVAs holding the broken shaft in one hand and her EVA's neck in the other.

It began to twist the lance.

"AAAAAAAA!!!!" Asuka's world exploded with pain, and more blood started flowing from her side to mix with the LCL. Her vision grew dim.

"Shin…ji…" she whispered.

As the world started to fade from view, Asuka became aware of someone screaming – and a silver comet struck the EVA that was holding her.

Shaking herself, she looked around… and saw Unit 04 drive its knife into the white EVA's throat.

"Hikari…?" she whispered.

The silver Unit kicked the white machine onto its back and turned towards the next attacker. "I'll take care of this," her friend replied, not waiting for the other mecha to make the first move.

As she ran towards it, she reached down and scooped up Touji's progressive knife from where it had fallen. She screamed, drawing back with both of her EVA's hands, and buried the knives in either side of the white EVA's neck… then brought them together, slicing its head neatly from its shoulders.

As blood sprayed from the creature's neck she became aware of Asuka's frantic voice, "Hikari!! They just get back up!!"

"Wh-what?" she whispered, looking down at the headless monster.

"They regenerate! You can't kill them!!" 

Hikari nodded grimly to herself. "There's a way… there has to be a way, everything has a weakness." She surveyed the scene, "Where's Touji?"

"He's ok…" Asuka reassured her, grasping her side painfully, "probably hiding under a rock somewhere like a true stooge…"

"Find him," Hikari replied quietly, "protect him… I'll take care of this…"

"Hikari," the redhead panted, "Unit 02 is almost… I…"

"Asuka!" Hikari gasped as her friend slumped forward in her seat.

"Unit 02 is out of power," Maya reported, "it's just you right now…"

The brown-haired girl considered the remaining Units, frowning slightly.

The umbilical cable dropped from the back of the silver EVA.

"Hikari!" Maya's voice came to her, sounding panicked, "What are you doing?"

Hikari took a deep breath before responding, "I'm engaging the S^2 engine, Miss Ibuki."

"But… but we still don't know what caused the last incident, what if it happens again?"

Hikari sounded grim, "There's no other way… I need to be free of the constraints of the cable. Besides," she added sadly, "If there is another explosion, at least it's better than Third Impact…"

Maya found that she had no reply, so she braced herself. 

Hikari's voice rang through Central Dogma, "Counting down to S^2 activation. Five… four… three… two…"

**

"Unit 04 has gone S^2 active!" Maya's voice rang over the communications system, "All systems looking stable."

"I should be there…" Shinji whispered, staring sullenly at the floor.

As if in reply to his sorrowful lament, Unit 01 broke free of the Bakelite with a tremendous crash, its hand reaching out to grasp the catwalk where the Third Child stood.

Shinji looked up into its glowing eyes, remembering all the times he had felt something… else in Unit 01.

"Mother…" he gasped as understanding dawned.

Clenching his hands into fists, he climbed onto the EVA's outstretched arm and scrambled towards the entry plug, "Asuka, Hikari… hang on – I'm coming!"

As he reached the plug and inserted it, the sounds of combat reached him. "Damn, they're fast!" Hikari called out.

"Give me an exit!" Shinji called out, "Get me there!"

"SHINIJ!!" Maya and Hikari's voices overlapped.

"I need to get to Asuka," he said grimly, "get me there, Miss Ibuki."

"Launching on route six," Maya replied happily, "Evangelion, Unit 01… go!"

The purple mecha reached the surface in less than fifteen seconds… and the white EVAs found themselves facing the long-contained rage of the highest-rated bravest number-one sync-ratio holder of them all.

**

In Terminal Dogma, Rei stood quietly considering the giant on the enormous red cross.

"My destiny," she whispered quietly, "is it time?"

She became aware of someone calling her name. She looked around, but could not see anyone. She walked toward the sound of the voice.

She came to a door, concealed in one of the walls, and pushed it open. On the other side was a dimly lit room with a tank similar to the one that had been used to design the dummy plug system. Within the tube was another Rei, floating with her eyes closed and had a look of concentration on her face.

Intrigued, Rei stepped forward towards the tank.

The girl in the tank opened her eyes, and Rei realized that she was not exactly the same. The girl in the tank had the same features as herself, but her hair was jet black, and her eyes were blue-gray, -Like Shinji's- Rei thought.

Inside the tank, the girl placed her hand on the glass and smiled.

"Who are you?" Rei asked quietly. The girl cocked her head to the side and looked at a control console on the wall, then back to Rei, then back to the console. 

Rei nodded, understanding the girl's desire. Having been in a similar tank many times, she was familiar with the controls… and in short order had triggered the release.

The other girl's relief was almost palpable as the LCL drained from the tank, and the hatch opened. "Help… me…" the girl said, her voice rusty and hard to understand.

Not quite understanding why, Rei hurried to her side, helping her out of the tank and sitting her on the floor. "Who are you?" she repeated.

The girl took a deep breath… a breath of air, not thick, cloying LCL, and replied, "There is not much time… you must undress…"

**

"Watch your left!" Shinji called out.

Unit 04 leapt to the side as one of the white EVAs tried to decapitate it with its weapon. "Thanks," Hikari panted, burying one of her knives in the thing's forehead, "how many more?"

"Ummm… five," Shinji replied, looking around at the remaining Units as the one who's neck he had just broken fell to the ground. He had not been able to draw his weapon… but so far that hadn't made a difference.

Fighting hand to hand, he had managed to take down three of the four Units currently on the ground.

"We've got to cover Unit 02," Hikari said, moving towards the downed mecha, "Asuka's still inside." She switched over to the external speakers, "Touji! I'm going to get the entry plug out… get Asuka somewhere safe!"

A small figure popped out from behind a large boulder, holding its hand out and waving it vigorously… then nodding.

The two upright EVAs backed up until they were between the white Units and the fallen red one.

"I won't let them have you, honey," Shinji whispered, his eyes flitting to the savagely dismembered remains of Unit 03.

"They did that while I was fighting their friends," Hikari said, gesturing to the shattered black mecha, "like that was more important than getting rid of me."

"Must be in their program," Shinji mused as the white EVAs began to slowly spread out around them, "get ready… here they come."

His prediction proved to be correct, as the mass-produced EVAs charged as one… and again, the battle was joined.

**

"Undress?" Rei asked, her brow drawing down slightly in confusion, "I do not understand."

"The Commander will be here soon…" the other replied, "you must be ready."

"It is time to fulfil my duty…" Rei whispered.

"Well," the other girl replied, getting shakily to her feet, "that's up to you."

"What?" Rei asked, feeling more confused.

"Shinji's fighting now, isn't he?" the girl asked softly, "In Unit 01."

"How do you know these things?" the blue-haired girl inquired.

"I don't _know_ that…" the other admitted, "but it seems logical, since you've found your way here, and the base is shaking so hard… we must be under attack. Shinji would be defending us…" she smiled, "because that's what heroes do."

"Heroes…" Rei repeated.

"Yes," the dark-haired girl answered, "Shinji is a hero. After all he's done, you doubt that?"

"No," Rei said with a faint smile, "I did not doubt… I am just," she pondered how to phrase it, "unused to hearing it from others."

"Well then," the other girl said, pleased, "I'm glad we understand each other. But we need to hurry… Shinji's in a lot of trouble in that thing, there's something that you need to do."

Rei considered the girl's words and spoke carefully, "But the soul of Pilot Ikari's mother is within Evangelion Unit 01, is it not? Will she not try to protect her son?"

The girl with the black hair studied Rei carefully for a moment before speaking, "Yui Ikari was insane." She ignored Rei's look of astonishment and went on, "She felt that Third Impact could not be avoided, so she built the Evangelions as proof than mankind existed… she gave up on humanity entirely." 

She shook her head, finishing, "Yui won't try to stop Third Impact from happening – she's too far gone. If anything, she'll try to encourage its completion so that she can feel validated." She looked down sadly, "and perhaps you were not aware of this, but Yui Ikari was one of the top ranking members of SEELE… everything that has happened has gone according to their – no, _her_ plan."

Rei looked at the ground, "There nothing that we can do, then?"

The girl laughed, causing Rei to look up once more, "There is something that can be done… but you must be the one to do it – you are the only one that _can_ do it." She shook her head sadly, "But it requires a sacrifice. Your life must end."

Rei thought for a moment before speaking, "If I were to sacrifice myself, there would be no more I. The tanks from which I come are now empty, I am the last."

The girl smiled at her sadly, "Now you truly know what is means to be human, little sister, but you claim to love Shinji, correct?" Rei nodded, and the girl went on, "It is a noble thing to sacrifice oneself for a loved one."

Tears began to fall from Rei's eyes, "I am scared," she whispered, "I do not want to lose what I have so recently found. Everything that makes me will be gone…"

The girl put a hand on Rei's cheek, wiping away the tears as she spoke, "Don't cry, little sister, for all will be well. When your body is no more, everything that you are will become part of me. Do not be afraid."

Rei's eyes widened, "Then that means you-"

The girl smiled radiantly, "Yes… I'm the same as you. To be more precise, I'm the template that you were based on. I'm Rei Ikari. Shinji's sister."

**

They stood side by side, silver brushing purple, and surveyed the scene.

"They're just going to get back up…" Hikari whispered in desperation. Even as she spoke, one Unit twitched… and its wounds began to knit.

"I know," Shinji said dejectedly, "they're more resilient than an…" he trailed off, then yelled, "_ANGEL_!" Hikari looked confused as Shinji opened his shoulder compartment and drew his progressive knife.

He quickly positioned himself behind her, speaking quickly, "Listen, the EVAs are clones of the first Angel, Adam… and ALL angels have a core – a glowing, red-"

"_CORE_!" she finished excitedly, "I saw one in the last one I killed, but I never thought to destroy it!" She braced herself, readying her own blade.

Shinji narrowed his eyes. "We can do this…" he said, regarding one of the white creatures as it regained its footing.

Hikari smiled, "Damn right we can!" she exclaimed.

As the mass-produced EVAs began their attack one last time, the two pilots met them head on… showing them the advantage of having a human soul – emotional weaknesses, insecurities, indomitable spirit, and all.

**

"I do not understand," Rei whispered, finally beginning to undress, "how can that be?"

Rei Ikari dropped her gaze to the floor. "When I was very young," she replied, "I was the subject of an experiment. Project E."

"The Evangelion project," Rei said quietly, "how were you a part of it?"

The girl raised her dark blue eyes to meet her duplicate's red ones. "Unit 00…" she whispered, "Unit 00 needed a soul."

"You?" Rei replied, her eyes widening.

"Yes," the other girl confirmed, "my soul was taken from my body – don't ask how, I don't want to describe it… but suffice it to say that I won't ever forget it – even though I was only three at the time."

"I do not understand," Rei said, "Unit 00 rejected me… and tried to invade Shinji's mind… why?"

The girl flushed. "With you, I… I thought I could take your body and escape. It was so lonely in there… I'm sorry. It was the first time I had felt another's presence since I had been put in that blue monster… and I… I wanted to get out so bad. I'm sorry." She stared at the floor, "With Shinji… I knew who he was… and I tried to talk to him… but he shut me out. It was more than I could take…"

"He said he could sense me…" Rei said thoughtfully, "it was you… wasn't it?"

"Yes," the other girl said softly, "I tried to talk to him… but he couldn't hear me… and I lashed out."

"I see," the blue-haired girl nodded, laying her clothes neatly on the floor, "and when Unit 00 was destroyed…"

"I was set free…"

The sound of a woman's voice reached them. "You always chose _her_!!"

"Hurry!" the black-haired girl whispered urgently, "it's time…"

Rei nodded and headed for the door. "What will become of you?" she asked quietly.

"I'll hide here until it's all over," the girl replied, smiling as she dressed herself for the first time in her life, "then I'm going to find my brother…"

"I see… good luck," Rei replied.

She opened the door and slipped out, closing it behind her.

Rei's eyes widened as she was just in time to see the Commander fire a single round from his small pistol, sending Doctor Akagi's body arching back off the platform and into the LCL.

"Rei," he said calmly, "there you are."

She nodded as he began walking towards her, remembering the other girl's words. –I will protect him,- she thought, closing her eyes, -as I promised…-

**

Unit 01 and Unit 04 stood, facing each other.

"Did we win?" Hikari wondered aloud. She looked at the broken remains of the Evangelion series.

"Sure looks that way," Shinji laughed, unable to hide his relief.

"She's alive!" Touji's voice came to them over the communications network, "She's bleeding, but she's alive."

Hikari looked to the shattered remains of Unit 02, half of the replica lance still protruding from its chest. Touji had Asuka cradled in his arms, both of his hands pressed against her side. She sighed, feeling relief fill her… but it was short lived.

"Hikari?" Shinji's voice came to her, sounding slightly confused, "What are you doing?"

"What do you…" she trailed off as she realized that Unit 04 was moving without her. It slowly raised its hands and grasped the plates covering its chest.

She looked out and saw that Unit 01 was doing the same.

Shinji's voice sounded more panicked this time, "Hikari, I can't… I've lost control…"

She pulled hard on the yokes, trying to will the EVA to stop, but it was no good. She felt the EVA pull down sharply, and agony ripped through her chest. She heard Shinji's scream echo her own as Unit 01 tore its chest armor away with a savage tug.

Panting, Hikari noticed that both EVA's cores were glowing bright red.

"Shinji! Shinji, I think something bad is going to happen!!" She tried to eject the plug, but found that all of the controls were dead.

She watched in horror as the two Units stepped closer, arms stretched out, and touched the glowing cores together. She was aware of a brilliant flash, then everything went dark.

**

"It is time to fulfill your destiny, Rei." Gendou spoke quietly as he stepped closer to her. He reached out, his right hand radiating power.

Rei closed her eyes, feeling her will leave her as Gendou's hand came to rest on her breast. She whimpered in pain as the hand slowly pushed into her flesh, Adam's power causing her flesh to retreat. A shudder passed through her body as he moved his hand down, finally stopping in her virgin womb.

"Now," Gendou said quietly, "take me to Yui."

Rei began to nod, when Shinji's scream penetrated her mind, -SHINJI!!! He's in trouble!!- She remembered what the other Rei had said about Shinji's mother, -It's happening now… I must help him.- Her eyes shot open as her will returned in a flash of anger.

Gendou looked at her expectantly, -Why is she hesitating? This is her sole reason for being!- He started to speak but stopped when he saw the look of determination on her face.

Rei closed her eyes again and focused on her body, visualizing it as she had seen it every day in the mirror. Gendou's gasp of surprise and pain informed her that she had succeeded. She opened her eyes, just in time to see him pull his arm (minus the hand) to his chest. 

"I am not your doll." She whispered quietly, turning from him and walking toward the giant being on the cross.

"Rei… why…?" Gendou's pained gasp came from behind.

She looked over her shoulder at him, "Because I am not yours." Reaching deep inside of herself she found a place she had never known about (and at the same time, had ALWAYS known about), and she began to fly.

"Rei… Rei!!!" Gendou cried desperately, -No… all that I've worked for!!-

As Rei rose she whispered, "Shinji… my brother is calling me. I must go to him." As she reached the giant she thought, -I am no longer afraid of losing myself… if it is for him.-

"I am home."

From that place deep in her soul, and all through her mind, a soft, feminine voice whispered, "Welcome home…"

Rei closed her eyes as part of the creature's chest reached out and pulled her into it. Her last conscious thought was, -Hang on, big brother… I'm coming…-

Then, Rei Ayanami – designated First Child, pilot of the destroyed Unit 00, and partial clone of Yui and Rei Ikari – ceased to exist.

Third Impact had begun.

To be concluded.

Author's notes: well, there you have it – the secret of the Prime project. Was it all you hoped it would be? One of the things that always bothered me about Evangelion was the fact that they never say who's soul is in Unit 00, and why it wanted to kill Gendou and Rei (or Ritsuko, if you believe her little 'It was going after me' thought). I've always felt that it was Ritsuko's mother… but I thought this would be an interesting alternative to that scenario. On Misato seeing Kaji during instrumentality – I consider this canon. In End of Evangelion, she looks up, says, "Kaji-kun… did I do ok?" and the floor explodes underneath her. Before it does, however, the audience is shown one of the ghostly Reis standing over her – which is what happened to everyone else that saw a loved one, so I firmly believe that's what she was seeing. The last chapter will most likely be a while in coming. I've had a lot of real life issues taking my time and concentration lately (hence, why this chapter took so long when it was already a third written when the last chapter was released), but as I've said before – I WILL finish this story. Guaranteed. 

Thanks once more to Ryoma for pre-reading and coming with me this far… we're almost done, my friend… just one more to go… ^_^

Feedback is always welcome at random1377@yahoo.com


	13. Unity

Disclaimer:  Ok, don't you think if I owned Evangelion I would make this into animation instead of posting it as fan fiction??  For the last time, Gainax owns Evangelion – not me!!   (Not that anyone thought I did… I just have delusions of adequacy).  This is the concluding chapter of my Deviance story, and corresponds to Episode 26,' also known as End of Evangelion part 2: My pure Heart for You/I Need you.  Warning: a fair amount of WAFF is coming your way… just feel good, darn it!!

Part 12

(Episode 26)

Unity

By Random1377

Hikari Suzuhara felt like she was floating.  She opened her eyes slowly, and found herself lying naked on a beach.  Shinji Ikari was lying next to her, also naked, "Are we… dead?" she whispered.

"I don't know," Shinji admitted. He sat up and looked around.  Noticing that she was naked, he averted his eyes, blushing, "Sorry…"

"It's ok…" she blushed also, folding her arms over her breasts.

Shinji got to his feet, doing his best to ignore his nudity, and offered Hikari his hand… trying to look the other way while he did so.  She took his hand and stood.

"What is this place?" she wondered aloud, "If it's Heaven, where is everyone?"  She let out a short laugh, "Don't tell me we're the only two worthy of going to Heaven!"

The brown-haired boy looked around. "I don't think this is Heaven…" he said softly.

Hikari's laughter died in her throat. "Well…" she said awkwardly, "let's see if we can find anyone else… I don't wanna stand around here all day."  She lowered her eyes.  "And I want my Touji…"

The Third Child nodded, thinking the very same thing about Asuka, and they began walking, trying not to look at one another.  The sand of the beach was a pure, almost glowing white… though the water that washed up on the shore was a deep crimson.

"Looks like blood…" the girl observed with a shiver, "can we walk further up the beach so we don't have to be so close to it?"

Shinji looked down with some distaste at the liquid lapping up to stain the pure white.  As he opened his mouth to agree, a soft, familiar voice came to him.

"It is not blood… it is sin…"

The two Children looked up with a start, finding Rei Ayanami standing a short distance away.  As Shinji smiled, feeling relieved, the blue-haired girl spoke quietly.  "The sand is Man's spirit," she mused, "and the tide is rising…"

"What do you mean, Rei?" Hikari asked, confused, "where are we?"

Rei looked to her left, inclining her head slightly.  "They are coming…"

As if on cue, Asuka's voice floated over one of the dunes, "You walk in front!" Shinji heard her say, "And don't look back!  Pervert!"

A moment later, she and a very red-faced Touji came into view.

"I didn't do it on purpose!" the Fourth Child was saying, "I'm a married – _Hikari!!!_"

Asuka frowned. "You're a married Hikari?"

"Asuka!"

The redhead looked up, her eyes widening as she recognized Shinji's voice.

"Now that you have all gathered," Rei began, "we must-"

She was interrupted as the four other Children rushed to embrace one another.

"How did you-"

"Are you ok, I was-"

"What happened to Unit-"

"Touji groped me!"

The First Child watched with mild amusement as Asuka's declaration brought the happy, overlapping chatter to a screeching halt.

"Touji…?" Hikari asked, arching an eyebrow.  Her look might have been menacing, had she not been smiling broadly.

"I didn't do it on purpose," Touji muttered, "when we woke up here, my hand was on her chest…" he looked at the offending hand as if it had betrayed him on purpose.  "How do you live with her, Shinji?" he asked, glaring at the redhead out of the corner of his eye, "she nearly broke my wrist…"

Asuka smiled sweetly.  "Uninvited touches are not the same as-"

"Please…" Rei's soft voice interjected, "there is not much time…"

"What's going on, Rei?" Shinji said softly, keeping Asuka close to him as he looked around, "Where exactly are we…?"

"You are one," the blue-haired girl said softly, looking at each of them, "unified."

"What's that mean?" Asuka murmured.

Rei spoke, looking directly into Shinji's eyes, "You will need to trust me, Shinji, as you asked me to trust them once before."  She hesitated, then went on, "Also, you will need to have utmost faith in her," her eyes flicked to Asuka, "or all will be lost."

"What's happening?" Hikari inquired.  Before Rei could reply, the brown-haired girl's eyes widened. "Rei…" she breathed, "I can see right through you…"

The pale girl ignored the question.  "There is not time," she said quietly, her voice seeming to fade a bit as she spoke, "I have contained her as long as I can, and now the unification is nearly complete.  There is little time, Shinji… so little time…"

"Contain who?" Shinji asked, looking around, "I don't-"

"You must believe in one another," Rei cut him off, growing more translucent, "you must…"

In the blink of an eye, the girl vanished… and as soon as she was gone, the four remaining Children felt themselves growing lighter.  
  


"What's happening!?!" Hikari cried out, trying to hold tighter to her husband, but feeling her hands slip through him, "Touji…?"

Shinji and Asuka said nothing. They simply stared into one another's eyes, concentrating on the feelings that rushed between them.  For a moment, it seemed as if this might work, as they grew slightly more solid – even as Touji and Hikari disappeared, still calling out for one another.

Abruptly, the feeling of lightness intensified, and the two Children vanished, Asuka's hastily spoken words drifting on the light breeze that blew over the now-empty beach.

"I need you…"

**

Shinji opened his eyes with a start.

"Wha…?"

"It's about time you woke up!" Asuka said, looming over the boy's bed, "I swear, I wonder why I even try!  Get your ass out of that bed, or we'll be late for school…"

Shinji blinked in confusion.  "Ummm ok…" he murmured, trying to focus on the dream he had been having – something about giant robots and a girl with blue hair. "I'm coming, don't get all worked up…"

"I'd never get worked up over _you_," the redhead teased, yanking back the blankets, "now get- eww!!" she cried, "I didn't say get _that_ up!!"

"I can't help it!" the boy protested, trying to cover himself up, "It's morning!"

For a moment, the world seemed to fade away, and he could picture the redhead lying naked at his side, whispering his name over and over again.

He shook his head. –What the hell…?-

"What's your problem?" Asuka inquired, her tone sounding slightly warmer, "Are you sick?"

The brown-haired boy tried to concentrate on the image… but it was already gone. "No," he said slowly, "just tired and-"

"Get up!" the redhead shouted, her smile returning, "And try to do it without flashing me, Ikari…"

Shinji nodded, slipping out of the bed.  -Oh well…- he thought, dismissing the dream.

Thoughtfully, he dressed for school, listening to his childhood friend regale him with tales of who was now dating who… and trying to shake the feeling that something was not _quite_ right…

**

"Take the shot, Suzuhara!"

Touji gave a small start, nearly dropping the basketball.  "Right!" he said, shaking his head.

He turned, avoiding the searching hands of the opposing team's forward and dropped back, releasing the ball and watching it arch smoothly through the hoop.

"Good shot Touji!!"

He smiled, turning to look at the sidelines, where Kimiko and Hikari, his sister and girlfriend, respectively, were clapping.

-Where's her wheelchair?- the boy thought, looking at his sister.  He shook his head, -What am I thinking? She doesn't have a wheelchair…-

"Halftime!" the referee called, "Both teams back here in ten minutes."

"Touji!" Hikari called, gesturing the boy over, "Don't forget that we're going to the movies later with Kensuke and his new girlfriend."

Touji shook his head again. "Souryu?" he said, confused.

"Of course," his girlfriend replied, looking at him as if he were dense, "they've been going steady for two weeks…"

-But she can't stand him…- the track suited boy thought.

"You alright?" his sister asked with a frown.

"Yeah," Touji said, dismissing the odd thoughts, "fine.  When are we going?"

"Seven o'clock," Kimiko answered, her frown becoming a faint smile.

"Right…" the boy answered, looking over the Okinawa Municipal junior high's basketball court, "seven…"

"You're coming to my house after, right?" Hikari asked, taking his hand with a blush, "I was thinking… tonight… you and me…"

"You're shameless!" Kimiko teased.

"Not _that_!" Hikari exclaimed… though Touji had a vague suspicion that was exactly what she meant.

He watched the two bantering back and forth with a small frown and wondering why he was uneasy when everything seemed so perfect…

**

"Hik_ari_!" Nozomi Horaki shouted, "Hurry up!"

Hikari gave a start. "Almost done," she said, closing the lipstick she had been applying and setting it to the side.

"Just because you have a date doesn't give you the right to hog the bathroom!" her younger sister called through the door, "I swear! You're just like Kodama!"

The brown-haired girl blushed, giving herself a critical glance in the bathroom mirror.  –Tonight…- she thought, -maybe tonight I'll ask him…-

She had been seeing Touji Suzuhara, the star of the Tokyo high basketball team, for just over two months… but she had so far been afraid to ask him to see _just_ her.  She was scared he would laugh, or just say 'no' flat out.  She grinned, thinking not for the first time that she had gotten lucky with him.

"Hikari Suzuhara," she mused, "has a nice ring to it…" she frowned. –Isn't that already…-

"I have to _go_, Hikari!" Nozomi's voice interrupted her thoughts, "Like – now!!"

"Ok, ok!" Hikari muttered, shaking her head, "I'm coming…"

As she opened the door, her sister pushed past her. "Geez!" the younger girl muttered darkly, "You think I can hold it all day??"

The older Horaki girl shook her head, "We _do_ have another bathroom…" she grumbled.

"Mom's taking a bath," Nozomi shot back, unzipping her pants, "can you ex_cuse_ me?"

"Mom's _always_ taking a bath," Hikari said, rolling her eyes as she closed the door. -Mom…- she thought, standing in silence outside the bathroom as she looked around the house, -why did I think she was gone…?-

The doorbell rang, and her dark thoughts were pushed away… but not forgotten.  Even as she headed towards the front of the house to answer the door, she knew she should not forget what she had been thinking.

Because – somehow – it felt right. 

**

"Mmmm… that was incredible…"

Asuka stared up at her familiar ceiling, feeling slightly confused as she felt a hand gently caressing her stomach.  "Shinji…?" she whispered.

"Hmmm…?

"It's nothing…" the redhead murmured, turning to look at her boyfriend in the near dark of her room.

"I should get going soon," the brown-haired boy said reluctantly, "your mom would be pissed if she saw us like this."

Indeed, Asuka's mother Kyoko was _not_ a fan of sex before marriage.  She liked Shinji just fine, and she had commented several times how they made a cute couple… but if she knew what they had been doing for the past four months, she probably would not have approved.

"Shinji," Asuka said softly, pulling her blanket up to cover herself as the boy slid out of bed, "what's it like in Japan?"

"That's the third time you've asked me that," the brown-haired boy said with a grin, pulling his shirt on before continuing, "I told you… it's just like here – cold in the winter, hot in the summer," he shrugged, "of course, not _as_ cold in the winter…"

The redhead nodded, biting her bottom lip pensively.  "Do you have a picture of your hometown?" she asked, wondering why it was suddenly important.  They had not known each other very long, but since Shinji had come with his father and mother to live in Germany, they had fallen quickly and deeply in love.

-So why do I want to see where he came from all of the sudden,- she thought, confused, -I've never been curious about it before…- She closed her eyes, imagining that she could see a huge, sprawling city with immense buildings that could… "Lower into the ground…?" she whispered.

"What's that?"

"Nothing," Asuka sighed.  –There's no place like that in Japan…- she thought.  She became aware that Shinji had stopped moving, and she looked up, "What is it?"

"Just realized," the boy whispered, slowly kneeling on the bed, "today is your mom's late day… we've still got four hours…"

The redhead sighed as her boyfriend kissed her, dismissing thoughts of the city and the huge robots that protected it.  –Robots…- she thought, trying to hold the thought as Shinji ran his fingertips over her skin, -what… robots…?-

The thought was soon banished from her mind as her boyfriend reminded her that he was here, now, and had not been in Japan for over a year.

But she tried to make a mental note to ask him again later… after… yes, later…

**

"Hey Shinji, we're still going to the arcade, right?"

Shinji looked up from his desk as Kensuke and Touji leaned over him.  "Yeah," he said slowly, "I guess.  My dad said I should be home before dinner, though, because my mom is working late again and he wanted to take me out."

"You're dad is always taking you out," Touji grumbled sourly, "lucky bastard – he spoils you."

-Spoiling me,- Shinji thought with a faint frown, -He does spoil me… why doesn't that sound right?-

"Hey Ikari!"  Shinji raised his hand as one of the seniors peeked into the classroom and waved at him.  "Saw that catch you made in yesterday's game – nice one, man!  Keep it up!"

"Th-thanks…" the boy murmured, smiling even as a light blush crept over his cheeks.

"So modest," Kensuke laughed.

"That's how a captain should be," Touji nodded proudly.

Shinji grinned, pushing the sudden, confused thought that he could never be captain of anything away as he leaned back in his chair.  "Captain's only as good as his team," he said happily, "and besides, I…" he trailed off as he glanced out the window.

"What's up?" Kensuke asked sharply, following the boy's line of sight.

Shinji shook his head.  "It's nothing," he whispered.  "I'll be at the arcade."

Touji and Kensuke exchanged a glance as Shinji continued to stare out the window.

Abruptly, Shinji rose from his desk and headed for the door.  "Gotta do something," he said quickly, frowning as he made his exit. "See you guys later."

In his mind's eye, all he could see was the briefly glimpsed, angelically pale image of a girl with blue hair and red eyes.  She had only been there for the briefest of instants, but Shinji knew that he had seen her, and knew that he needed to see her again.  Sprinting across the school grounds, he found himself at the lower school's sandbox, looking past the empty swingset to where the girl had been standing.

And finding nothing.

"Going crazy…" he whispered, clenching his eyes closed and trying to recall the girl's haunting red eyes.

"Ik… ari…"

Shinji's eyes flew open, but still – he was alone.  Closing his eyes once more, he concentrated harder than ever before, breathing, "Who are you?  Are you a ghost?"

The voice came to him again, sounding like a spring breeze.  "I do not have time," the voice whispered softly, sounding truly sorrowful, "so you must listen carefully, Shinji…"

"Ok," Shinji nodded.

"This world," the voice told him, "is only in your mind.  All souls are still uniting, Shinji, it is not too late to stop that… if you want.  If you choose it, everyone will have the ability to return, if they desire to."

"I don't understand," the boy said softly.

"This place," the voice whispered, growing weaker, "does not _have_ to exist, Shinji.  It is only a false paradise, and will fade like a shadow at dawn once the union is complete.  There will be no more individual thought… no more you, or Asuka… there will only be Lillith."

"Who?" Shinji asked, feeling sweat break out on his brow as he struggled to hear.

"It does not truly matter," the voice said, now barely even audible.  "My time is gone, Shinji, I must leave now."  The voice grew warm and soft, fading away as it concluded, "I love you, Shinji… any place can be Heaven, if you allow yourself to be happy.  Remember the one you care most for – remember her and do not let the memory of her true self go…"

Shinji stood in perfect silence for three minutes, straining to hear more… but there was nothing.

Slowly opening his eyes, he looked up to the sky.  "'Her true self…" he murmured hesitantly.

He stood quietly considering the voice's confusing words, trying to sort out the oddly conflicting images floating through his mind.  He was still there when the lower school let out for recess, and he could not help how all the children seemed so happy and carefree...

Even though none of them paid him the slightest bit of attention.

**

Touji frowned as he opened the door to his house, the sound of voices in conversation reaching him from the living room.  "Souryu?" he mumbled.

Making his way to the other room, he found that Asuka was indeed there, talking calmly with Hikari and Kimiko.

"Hey hun," Hikari said happily, rising to her feet and making her way over to the boy and kissing him on the cheek.  "Missed you…"

Touji grinned foolishly as the girl's hand settled discretely against his side.  "Missed you too," he murmured.  "What are you guys up to?"

"Talking about sex," Asuka said boldly.  "Well… not sex," she admitted after a moment of stunned silence, "we were just talking about sexy words."

"Sexy words?" Touji mumbled.

"Yeah," Hikari whispered, turning her head so the others could not see her face, "like Touji…"

Before Touji could reply, Asuka piped up, "Not that you would know a sexy word if it bit you."

"Oh shut up," Touji growled, "you've never even been kissed – what would you know?"

He waited for the scathing retort he felt (instinctually) would be coming.  An odd sense of disquiet overtook him as the redhead mumbled an apology.

"Don't be mean," Hikari murmured, pausing to subtly run her lips over his ear, "or you might not get lucky tonight…"

Touji gaped at her, stunned as she slowly nodded.

"Yeah," Hikari confirmed softly as Kimiko and Asuka struck up a conversation about cooking, "I think we've waited long enough, Touji… I want to go all the way tonight."

"You don't… want to wait until we're married?" the boy asked with some difficulty.  -Where'd that come from?- he thought, shaking his head, -Am I just that stupid?  She wants to do it, and I'm offering to hold off for years!-

"I can't wait anymore," Hikari breathed, sliding her arms around him.  "All I think about is you."

-Why am I fighting this?- Touji thought suddenly, trying not to notice Hikari's left hand as it slid around to his backside.  –It's kinda fast… but…-  

He gasped as Hikari put her right hand against the side of his head as if she was going to whisper something… and slipped her tongue gently into his ear, whispering, "I want you…"

-When did she get that bold?- he thought dizzily, -She was always so straight-laced and uptight…-

But was she?  The more he thought about it, the more he found that Hikari had always been a touch wild.  They had been going out for some time, and as he considered it… he realized that she had always been subtly pressuring him to sleep with her.

As his sister and Hikari's friend talked idly about cooking, and his girlfriend continued to explore his ear canal and tell him about all the things she planned to do to him, Touji could only think,

-This isn't the way it's supposed to be…-

**

"Hey," Hikari called as she came into the living room, "Where's mom?"

"Just left," Kodama replied absently, never looking up from her magazine, "there's a note on the table."

Hikari frowned, glancing down at the note,

_Girls – I've got to run out and do a few things, but I'll be back real soon.  Maybe we can rent a movie or something, huh?  See you soon! _

_                                                                                    Love – Mom_

"Did you see her leave?" Hikari asked impulsively.

Her sister shook her head.  "Nope," she yawned, "she was gone when I got up."

"When was the last time you saw her?"

Kodama looked up finally.  "What are you talking about?" she asked, confused, "She made dinner for us last night!"

"No," Hikari replied, taking a seat on the couch, "she _left_ dinner for us and went to a meeting…"

"Yeah," Kodama shrugged, "and?"

Hikari sighed.  "And… I don't know," she muttered, "I just… I wanted to talk to her."

"Call her cell."

Hikari leaned forward, her expression intense.  "I did…" she whispered, "I got her voice mail."

"Why are you getting all freaked out?" Kodama grumbled, folding her magazine and throwing it on the end table.  "Mom's busy – didn't you read the note she left on Saturday?  It said she would be done with her project in three days, and after that, she'll always be with us."

Hikari shivered.  –Why don't I like the way that sounds?-

"Oh yeah,"

"Hmm?"

Kodama nodded to a small box on the end table.  "Loverboy dropped that off when you were napping."  She snorted, rising from the couch and heading into the kitchen.  "I think he wanted to go to your room and sprinkle it with rose petals, too."

Hikari pursed her lips.  "Don't be stupid," she retorted, "why would you think that?"

Kodama rolled her eyes.  "He had the roses with him."

As her sister departed, Hikari sat back on the couch.  –Why does the idea of Touji with roses seem so… so… wrong??- she thought.  –He's a really sweet guy – always going out of his way for me and buying me little presents…-  She closed her eyes, trying to imagine what it would be like to have her boyfriend be a little rougher around the edges.

"But he's not like that…" she whispered, keeping her eyes closed and grinning as an image of a scowling Touji materialized in her mind, wearing, "a tracksuit?  He's got more taste than that."

Hikari sat on the couch for another hour, her expression growing slowly darker and darker as she struggled to hold on to the image of Touji wearing two oddly-shaped hairclips… and trying – unsuccessfully – to remember what her mother looked like.

**

"Hey sexy."

Asuka smiled as Shinji walked up to her desk.  "Hi, hi," she sighed.

"Something wrong?" Shinji enquired, leaning down and helping himself to a kiss.

The redhead shrugged.  "I dunno," she said uneasily, "just this note I got from my mom."

"'Project's almost finished,'" Shinji read out loud, "'should be back in a day or two, then I promise I'll never leave again. –K'"  He handed the note back to her.  "Couple more days," he said approvingly, "that's pretty cool."

"I guess…"

"What?"

"Well," Asuka replied slowly, "it's just that – I haven't seen her for days.  It's kinda strange."

"Didn't you say you went to the movies with her last week?" Shinji asked, arching an eyebrow.

"Did I?" the girl replied, honestly uncertain, "I don't remember it… but what bothers me more is that I keep..." she took a deep breath, "I keep seeing this image," she gestured to her temple, "up here – of her hanging in a hospital room."

"Wow," Shinji exclaimed, "that _is_ pretty messed up…"  He couched by the side of her desk, running his hand discretely up her thigh.  "Maybe I can take your mind off of it…?"

"Mmmm," Asuka hummed, almost managing to lose the hideous image, "tempting…"

"Hey," Shinji whispered, still stroking her soft skin, "if she's out of town for a few days… let me stay all night tonight."

"Why Mister Ikari," Asuka retorted, feeling her breathing starting to deepen, "how bold of you."

Shinji chuckled.  "I'll be over at seven," he promised, taking another kiss and standing, smiling as the redhead complained at the loss of attention.  "I'll make it up to you tonight."

Asuka smiled.  –It's just a couple days,- she thought reasonably, -I don't know why I'm even thinking about mama… she's always there… always with me.-  Her smile faded as Shinji took his seat (the one next to her – by his insistence) and the image of her mother, clutching an odd doll, resurfaced.

"Miss Souryu?"

Asuka shook herself, looking up to reply to the timid voice.  "Yes?" she asked.

The boy standing in front of her desk was obviously younger, and she wasn't sure what class he was from, but he seemed to be very nervous, as he kept fidgeting with a small box in his hands.  "I… thought this might look, ummm pretty on you…" the boy mumbled, thrusting the box out in front of himself.

The redhead blinked, then slowly smiled.  –That's… kinda cute,- she thought, reaching out to take the gift, -looks like he psyched himself up for a while to even come in here.-

"Thank y-"

"What are you doing?"

Asuka glanced up, surprise defining her features as Shinji pushed himself between her and the boy.

"I said what are you doing?" Shinji demanded, slapping the box out of the boy's hands.  "She's mine – do you understand?"

"Shinji!"

"I'm… sorry sir," the boy squeaked, taking a step back, "I didn't know!"

Shinji brought himself up to his full height.  "You're going to _be_ sorry," he promised coldly.

Asuka could only stare in horror, whispering, "This isn't happening," over and over as Shinji… made the boy sorry…

**

"Hey Shinji," Asuka called, looking up from her textbook as Shinji came into the school library, "What's up?  You left class in a hurry… I was worried…"

Shinji sat down opposite the girl, meeting her gaze head on.  "Hey Asuka," he said quietly, "do you wanna kiss me?"

"What?!" Asuka gasped, blushing as her jaw fell open.

"Kissing," Shinji whispered, leaning across the desk until he could see his own reflection in the girl's confused sapphire eyes.  "Have you ever been kissed?"

"N-no," the redhead stammered.  She swallowed as the boy continued to stare at her.  "Can you… stop?" she murmured, blushing brightly.  "Please?  I like you, Shinji, but I don't want to… go that fast."  She smiled timidly.  "I didn't know you liked me that way."

Shinji leaned back in the library chair, studying the girl's face closely.  "Are you scared?"

"No!" Asuka snorted, still blushing, "But I think we should go out first," she lowered her eyes from his intense gaze.  "I've waited for you to ask me out for so long."

"Really?" Shinji asked softly.  "How long?"

The redhead looked confused.  "Why does that matter?" she asked.  "It's been a long time – since we moved here from Germany.  Are you feeling ok?  You don't look so good."

"Where are you?"

Asuka frowned.  "I'm right here, Shinji," she said quietly.

"Where are you?" Shinji repeated, ignoring the redhead and looking at the ceiling.  "I want to see you… I want to see you as you truly are – I don't accept this world."

"Shinji?" Asuka asked, her voice tinged with worry, "What's wrong?  I'm right here, Shinji… I've always been right here, all you have to do is look at me and I'll always be here with you."

Shinji shook his head, keeping his eyes turned heavenward.  "I don't believe in this place," he said levelly, "I don't believe in this her."

"Shinji…?"

The boy closed his eyes, not listening to Asuka's desperate voice.  "Talk to me," he said firmly.  "Asuka _isn't_ that timid!  She's bold, and confident, and she hasn't been with me all my life!"

"I am real!" Asuka protested desperately, "Shinji – _look at me_!!!"

Shinji kept his eyes closed and focused on the elusive image of Asuka softly smiling at him, running her fingers over his cheek and whispering that she cared.  Taking a deep breath, he made that image the only thing he could see.

"No."

**

Hikari sighed and leaned back on the couch, letting her head rest against Touji's shoulder.  –This is nice,- she thought, smiling as he kissed her cheek, -see? This is how it should be.-

But a moment later, she shifted again, feeling simply… uncomfortable.  Her eyes kept roaming around the room, invariably coming back to the pictures of herself, her sisters, and her father that lined the mantelpiece that dominated the south wall of the living room.

"Hey Touji," she murmured, "have you met my mother yet?"

"Mmmm, no," Touji laughed, "every time I'm over, she's not here.  You keep saying she'll be done with her work thing soon, but I haven't seen her."

"Why aren't there any pictures…?" the brunette asked, gesturing to the mantel.

"You told me she doesn't think she's photogenic," Touji shrugged.

"I did?"

"Uh huh."

"But… but," Hikari stammered, "why can't I think of what she looks like?"

"Easy," Touji said gently, "you're getting all worked up over nothing.  I'm sure you can imagine her if you think about it for a minute."

"No!" the girl said frantically, "I can't even picture it in my mind!"

"Hey," Touji murmured soothingly, "it's ok, Hikari… she said she'd be back soon, right?"

"Yeah," Hikari replied, leaning against him for support, "there was another note this morning saying she was almost done with her 'project' and then she'd be with us forever."

"See?" Touji said succinctly, "Won't that be great?"

-Too quiet,- Hikari thought, feeling slightly dizzy as she closed her eyes and imagined Touji in a tracksuit again, -he's too damn quiet!-

"Kiss me…"

"Sure."

Hikari shivered as she felt his lips pressing softly against hers.  "Harder," she whispered, sliding her arms around his neck, "kiss me harder, Touji."

"I don't want to hurt you," the boy replied gently.

Clenching her eyes more fully closed, Hikari pushed, throwing the unsuspecting Touji off balance and knocking him onto his back on the couch.

"Hikari!  What are y-"

-Just a little hard,- Hikari thought desperately, finding the boy's mouth with her own and kissing him deeply, -he always wanted it just a little tiny bit hard… he said it was because he liked it that way, but it was really because he was always just… barely… on the verge of losing control with me… because he wanted me so badly… because he loved me…-

Hikari allowed her boyfriend to push her off of him, trying to divide her attention between his quiet, slightly stunned observation that she was not herself and the faint, almost inaudible echo in her mind of him telling her, 'I love you.'  

-He was never quiet,- she thought over and over again, -he was always a bit too loud, and a bit too coarse… but I loved him anyway.  I love him _that_ way!-

Trembling with uncertainty, she took a deep breath and screamed, "You're not Touji!  This isn't real!  Where's my mother??  No one's gone ALL the time!  _This isn't real_!!!"

Silence was her reply.

**

Touji awoke from a strange dream, all of his senses alive and jumping.

"Hikari?"

The girl sharing his bed stirred, pressing her bare chest against his side and murmuring his name.

-She's asleep,- Touji thought with some relief.  –Man, Kensuke would never let me live it down if he knew I was in bed with a hot girl and didn't do anything!-

He had been sorely tempted, though.  His mother and father were out of town, and Hikari had been adamant about spending the night with him, complaining, 'We've been together too long _not_ to do it!' as she undressed.  

What perplexed the young man the most was the fact that he could not say why he had convinced her to just sleep with him that night.  –Maybe I'm gay,- he thought dismally, frowning as he felt Hikari's breasts brushing him with every indrawn breath.  –Man, _she_ wanted to do it, though…-

His frown deepened.

Hikari _had_ wanted to have sex with him… badly.  But no matter how she pleaded and teased, Touji just felt wrong about it.

-Maybe it was _because_ she wanted it so bad,- he mused, -or maybe it was like Rei said: this isn't the real…- his eyes flew open.  "World…"

For the life of him, Touji could not recall ever having met a Rei.

Closing his eyes, he tried to recall the strange, vivid dream he'd been having.  "She's got… blue hair…" he whispered, unconsciously tightening his hold on the girl at his side, "and… red eyes, and she told me _this_ was the dream…"

"Mmmm…"

Touji's eyes opened once more as Hikari sighed.

"Hey," she whispered, rubbing her eyes and smiling as she leaned up on one arm to look at him.  "You ready now… hmm?"

"H-Hikari," Touji stammered, fighting to hold the image of the blue-haired girl in his mind, "Ummm… I'm still really tired, so-"

"Then just relax," the girl whispered, sliding over until she was straddling him.  "I'll do all the work tonight, Touji… you just enjoy the ride…"

-No!- the boy's mind cried, finally locking on the red eyes from his dream, -Hikari's not this… this… slutty!!-

"Can't believe you made me wait this long," Hikari purred, stroking his chest with her palms, "Basketball all-star like you… I thought for sure we'd do it on the second date."

-What was that name?- Touji thought, pushing back at the physical sensations that threatened to overwhelm him.  –She said… Mother of All, and… oh my god, Hikari's hand are soft!  _No_!  The Mother of All… she's…-

"Lillith!"

Hikari's hands stopped moving.  "Well," she whispered seductively, "that's a new one.  Usually guys yell _my_ name… guess I'll just have to work a little har-"

"Rei's in my class," Touji whispered, ignoring the girl atop him.  "She's a pilot like me… me and… and Shinji!  He's a pilot too, and so is Souryu!"

"What are you talking about?" Hikari muttered.  "I mean… I know I'm good, but you're like, delirious – and I haven't even gotten started yet!"

"Hikari…"

Hikari grinned, leaning closer.  "Yes, lover?"

"Hikari's a pilot too," Touji continued, "and we just got married… and she got sick… and Kimiko – Kimiko's in a wheelchair!"

"Touji," the girl murmured, "you're kinda freaking me out… open your eyes."

"I don't believe this is real."

"Huh?"

"I want it back the way it was!" Touji shouted.

**__

Asuka frowned up at her ceiling, subconsciously stroking the back of Shinji's neck as he slept.  –That kid,- she thought uneasily, -why?-  She glanced at the boy's profile, amazed that could be so reposed after inflicting such harm on another. –He's always been protective,- she thought sadly, -but… but that was…-

She shivered, recalling how the younger boy had whimpered… then cried.

"I thought you were going to bite him," she whispered, "the way you were crouching over him… God…"

Then… that night.

Asuka closed her eyes.  –I guess it's good that Mama wasn't here,- she thought, blushing brightly, -you can't really make excuses for that kind of scream…-

With her eyes closed, everything seemed easier to focus on.  Slowly, she turned the day's events over in her mind, going from her mother's note to Shinji's display of violence, the redhead analyzed it all.  

"It just feels weird," she muttered, squeezing her eyes tighter closed.  "You should be…" she struggled for the right word, concentrating on the idea that something was off.  "Nice," she finished, feeling as if she had made a breakthrough, "You should be nice, Shinji – you being mean like that… I don't know, I guess I've always known you were like that, but it still feels wrong."

She took a deep breath.  –I want… Shinji…- she thought deliberately.  –I want it to feel right… I know this is wrong…-

Keeping her breath in, Asuka tried to imagine Shinji touching her gently.  It was not that he was generally rough with he – actually, he was almost always gentle, last night being the exception – but she felt that softness, gentleness, and sweetness were traits that should be focused on.  

Exhaling slowly, the redhead whispered, "I want to see my mother… right… now…"

There was no brilliant flash of insight as such, but a strange image of a giant, red machine, superimposed over a coffin passed through her thoughts.  Taking another deep breath, Asuka willed the image to return, driving all other thought away until another image appeared.

"Shinji…" she whispered, her voice shaking.

This time, the image stayed, allowing her to drink in the details.  Shinji sat in a kitchen chair, a large, stringed instrument cradled against his shoulder.

"Hey!"

Shinji grumbled his disappointment as he was roused from a deep sleep.  "S'wrong…?" he mumbled.

"Shinji, wake up," Asuka shook him again, "I need to ask you something."

"Wasn't once enough?" the boy groaned, smiling tiredly and rolling onto his back.  "Alright… but slow this time, ok?"

"I didn't mean get _that_ up!" Asuka growled.  "Come on, this is serious!"

"Ok, I'm up…" Shinji sighed.

"What do you play?"

Shinji blinked.  "Like… sports?"

"No, no," Asuka clarified, "what instrument do you play?"

"Guitar," Shinji shrugged.

"Not the cello?" Asuka asked eagerly, leaning closer to him as the image in her mind became clearer and clearer.

"No," Shinji frowned.  "Why would _I_ play an instrument like _that_??"

Asuka nodded, mentally grasping the image of the cello and holding it to her heart.  "This Shinji," she whispered, her heart soaring as she realized what was wrong, "I want _this Shinji!!_"

"What are you talking abo-"

"Give him back!" the redhead demanded suddenly.  "The gentle Shinji… the kind Shinji… the Shinji that would never, _ever_ hurt someone!"   She took a deep, deep breath, holding it for a moment as Shinji continued to try and ask her what was wrong before screaming, "_GIVE HIM BACK TO ME!!!!_"

**

In all four of the illusory worlds, cracks began to form.  They ran from the corners of the Souryu residence in Germany to the halls of Tokyo High, and beyond.  Cracks of doubt, fragmenting the façade until it was unrecognizable before shattering it into oblivion.  Places that never existed… places that were only dreamed… places that were not… proper, ceased to exist.  Phantasms of people winked out of being as if they had never been, and all four worlds collapsed in on themselves, leaving one, unified whole.

Shinji Ikari opened his eyes.  "Ayanami…" he whispered.

"Look again, idiot."

He blinked, his brow creasing as he found not Rei, but Asuka straddling his waist.  "What happened?" he asked, trying not to notice that the girl's hands were partially buried in his chest.  –It doesn't hurt,- he thought distantly, -and it sure isn't any stranger than anything else that's happened.-

"I needed you," Asuka replied, studying his face intently.  "I needed you just the way you were."

Shinji nodded slowly.  "I need you too," he said quietly, reaching up to caress her cheek.

"What happens now?" the girl asked, tilting her head into his palm.  "This… isn't so bad…"

"I don't think this is real," Shinji answered, giving a significant glance down at her arms.  "I think… damn, Doctor Akagi never explained it right… but I think our AT fields are gone."  He smiled.  "Rei told me that we're all one…"

"One," Asuka whispered, savoring the word.  "Yeah, that feels right."

"It isn't," Shinji told her, glancing up at the empty sky overhead.

"Why?"

He turned his attention back to his lover, staring deep into her frightened blue eyes.

"I don't want to be apart from you anymore," Asuka said quietly, "can we… stay here…?"

Shinji shook his head, slowly reaching down to pull Asuka's hands free from his chest.  "No," he said gently, "even if it's ok for you and me, what about everyone else?  There's so many people in the world, Asuka, I don't want to force _everyone_ to be like this…" he averted his eyes.  "Even for you."

"Why?" Asuka whispered.  "If we bring back everyone's AT fields… there will be more pain… more loneliness…"  She leaned forward and kissed him.  "Wouldn't it be better," she breathed, "if everyone died?"

Shinji sat up, hugging the redhead carefully.  "Don't you think that's a little selfish?" he asked softly.

"So what?"

"Asuka!"

"I mean it," Asuka sniffed, "I'm sick of a world that does nothing but hurt me… I'd rather be here… with you…"

Shinji pulled away, smiling softly.  "I'll always be with you," he promised, kissing her lightly.  "But if we stay here, like this, it won't be me and you… it'll be everyone… and some people might not want that."  He sighed.  "You can hate me if you want," he told her, "but I'd rather _not_ know we'll always be together than know it… and know that there were others that had no choice."

"God," Asuka grumbled, a tear of frustration running down her face, "I hate it when you make sense!"

"Sorry," Shinji grinned.

"Hey," the girl said suddenly, "why do you think you have any say in this anyway?"

Shinji offered her a half sad, have amused smile.  "Because Rei said so."

"And everyone knows that Wondergirl is omnipotent," Asuka retorted dryly.  She frowned suddenly.  "I wonder if Hikari and Touji are talking like this…"

"What do you think they would choose?" Shinji inquired.

There was a long silence between them as Asuka considered his question. Finally, she closed her eyes.  "One more minute, ok?" she asked quietly.

"Ok…" Shinji smiled.

**

The Heavens and the Earth were still for the span of three-score minutes, and all was still.  Into the silence, a muted sound was heard, echoing across the empty void and signaling the beginning of the end.  The giant form of the second Angel began to tilt her head backwards, the soft sigh of regret growing weaker as two forms, one silver and one purple, broke free of her flesh, pausing only to cry in feral joy before taking to the skies, borne on wings of light.

Four stars fell from Heaven.  Four stars parted company and returned to the world they had been forced to leave.  Each of the four recognized the loss of the others, but felt that this was right.  They rose up, struggling to reach the light of the world they once knew.

Shinji gasped as his head broke the surface of the water, -Good thing it's shallow,- he thought gratefully. Looking around, he noticed the other three bobbing gently in the soft current.  He gestured with his head toward the shore, not more than ten feet away, and the others nodded, all making their way slowly there.

They all lay still for a few minutes, reveling in the joy of being individuals once more.  They all embraced one another, weeping.

After much kissing, tears, and exchanging of I love yous, they all sat together, considering the water.  Each too wrapped in their own thoughts, and too comfortable with the silence, to speak.

"We… we're the last four people on Earth…" Hikari's voice was sad as she spoke, looking down at her plugsuit.

They sat considering the waves for a moment, then Shinji spoke slowly, "No… I don't think so."  Three pairs of eyes focused on him, so he continued, blushing, "Well… Rei told me when we were… inside… that anyone can return, they just need to choose to come back."

Asuka looked sadly at the water, "Then… then why hasn't anyone besides us returned?"

As if on her cue, a head rose slowly above the water.

Shinji was on his feet in a flash, "Misato!!"  He waded into the water with Touji close behind.  Together, they pulled the bedraggled woman up on shore.

She looked around in confusion as they gently helped her sit, each boy going to the side of his respective love.  "What happened?" she whispered, "I remember being shot… then I was with…" her voice thickened, but she went on, "Kaji… but he said I couldn't stay."  She sniffed, quickly wiping her eyes. "Shinji… I wanted to be with him so bad… but he said…"  she took a deep breath, forcing a smile.  "He said you needed me right now… is that true? _Do_ you need me, Shinji?"

Silently staring at her, Shinji realized how much he _did_ need her, and how much she needed him in return.  He squeezed Asuka's hand, gently letting it go, and reached out to lay a hand on the woman's shoulder. "Yes…" he whispered, "I do need you – we _both_ need you, Misato."  He looked to Asuka, who was nodding slowly. "Thank you for coming back to us." 

Though she was not usually one for such open displays of affection, Misato found that she could not help herself.  Laughing and crying at the same time, she embraced the boy, trying not to see the surprised stares of the other Children.

Shinji felt Asuka's arms encircle his waist, and he realized that he had two of the women that he loved most in the whole world, right there with him.  –Two, not three…- he thought sadly as more and more people he did not know began to make their confused way from the sea.

Hikari's stunned gasp drew his attention.

"Rei?" she whispered, not believing her eyes.

The girl walking towards them did bear a striking resemblance to Rei, Shinji thought, but her hair was black and her eyes were a deep blue, -Like mine,- he thought.

Instead of walking past them in confusion as the others had the girl stopped in front of them.  "No, Hikari Suzuhara, The Rei that you know died when Unit 01 and Unit 04 freed themselves from Lillith."  They looked at her, wide-eyed as she continued, "However, everything that she was…" she put a hand over her heart, "is in me."

She held her hand out to Shinji, who took it, allowing her to bring him to his feet, "A-are you another clone?" he asked, feeling stupid as the words left his mouth.

The girl smiled, slowly pulling him into an embrace and laying her head on his chest.  "No, Shinji…" she whispered, "I'm your sister."

**

Quite some minute's worth of explanation later, they once again sat quietly watching the water.  The trickle of people was slow, but steady, and everyone present was overwhelmed with happiness as one of the people to return was Touji's sister.  The normally stoic athlete had wept quite openly, carefully cradling the girl in his arms and carrying her back up to join them.

"I was under my bed," she explained, reaching out to Shinji until he took her hand and smiling softly at him.  "The next thing I knew… I was with my mother and my father, but it was all wrong.  I wanted my Touji…" she blushed, hugging her older brother – who now looked embarrassed – and sighing happily.  "That's all I need."

Holding his sister tightly, Touji murmured, "Maybe we should… find a place to sleep.  It's gonna be dark soon."

The others nodded reluctantly, and they all got to their feet, Kimiko resting her head on her brother's shoulder and smiling softly.

"I guess we should head for Tokyo-2," Misato said calmly, "I don't think… umm… I don't think Tokyo-3 is still there."

The others nodded.  "It is unfortunate," Rei whispered, hesitating as she looked back to the LCL ocean.  "But I do not believe that Doctor Akagi or the Commander will be returning."

"Why not?" Kimiko asked curiously.

Rei shook her head, turning back to face the little girl.  "They lived for EVA," she replied calmly, "EVA is gone… there is nothing for them to return to."

Kimiko thought about this for a minute.  "You're weird," she muttered, clinging to her brother a bit tighter.  "I don't think anyone lives for just one thing…"

Rei smiled at her.  "You are young."

"Let's go," Touji said gruffly, "if they didn't want to come back, well… I guess we can't help them, can we?"  He waited for Rei to shake her head before shrugging.  "Then let's go."

"Alright."

As they started for the city, Asuka held Shinji back.  "Shinji?" she asked hesitantly, "Did we make the right choice?"

"What do you mean?" Shinji inquired.

"Don't play dumb," Asuka whispered, lowering her eyes.  "Did we do the right thing?  Everyone could have been happy…"

Shinji smiled and took her hands in his.  "Yes," he said simply.  "We made the right choice.  We _gave_ everyone a choice…"

"But-" Asuka tried to speak, but Shinji put a finger on her lips.

"I wasn't finished," he said.  "Rei told me, 'Any place can be Heaven… if you let it.'"  He looked into her eyes, then gently replaced his finger with his lips, kissing her deeply.  When he pulled away, he whispered, "As long as we keep trying… no matter what happens, we can make it right."  He pulled her into a tight embrace, "I love you."

She wrapped her arms around him, holding him fiercely, "I love you too." 

They kissed once more, softly… tenderly… putting everything they were into it.

"Let's go catch up to the others," Shinji whispered as they parted.  "You said you wanted to be together forever, right?" 

Smiling, Asuka nodded.

"Ok," Shinji said firmly, taking her by the hand.  "Then let's get started."

Hand in hand, they started towards the future.

The End.

Author's Notes (or, good gravy did it really take me this long to finish??): The idea for this story came to me as a result of numerous discussions with the other members of Animeboards.com – thanks for the inspiration, people!  But it was mostly a result of my dissatisfaction with the way that certain events were played out in the Neon Genesis Evangelion story – and the awful empty feeling I had after watching End of Evangelion.   Due to that fact, this is kind of a "happier" telling of the events of Episodes 15 – 24 and the movie End of Evangelion with some modifications, so don't be surprised at how sugary and happy-happy (especially near the end – though I tried not to go overboard) it ended up. 

I called it Deviance because it deviates from the original story near the end of episode 15.  I tried to stay true to the characters in terms of how I think they act, and the events as they transpired (you _should_ be able to pick out the changes – or else I've failed quite badly).  Why did I make it so happy?  You may have noticed that only Kaji truly dies – even Rei is still alive, to some extent, in the form of Rei Ikari (I went with this since, well… no one knows who's soul is in 00, and it seemed to fit pretty nicely).  Well, though I sometimes do write for that Warm And Fuzzy Feeling, I try to get a good amount of angst in… but in this case the reason that I chose to go so far is because the original show and movie are so damn sad!  Every time you thought the other shoe had fallen… another one falls.  

From Kaji's death, to Asuka's mind-rape, to Rei's Death and Rebirth (hehe), to the death of _everyone_ in EoE… things just kept getting worse!  And the two characters that I thought had the hardest time (Asuka and Shinji) only had one single moment –_one_!- where there was even a _hint_ of redemption… and that was at the end of the movie, so you never even get to find out if it turned out well or not (Side note here, I was going to call the story Redemption, for just that reason… but someone beat me to it).  

In the end, the real reason I wrote this was so I could feel better… Evangelion left me sad and confused, and I felt the only way I could rectify that situation was to take control and imagine how it could have been better – then share it with others.  Ironically, this is exactly why Anno Hideki created Evangelion in the first place – to deal with his own depression.  So if any of you felt the way I did after EoE, I hope this little piece of work helped you feel better.  As for me… the closer I got to the end, the better I felt… and I no longer cry when I think of Asuka and Shinji alone on that beach… 

Ok… maybe I cry a little…

Random1377

Technical notes:

This fiction was started on _approximately_ April 12, 2001 (I – foolishly – didn't write down the exact date, but it was right around there), and was finished on March 04, 2003 (now I made _sure_ to note the end date! :) )

According to MSWord, it weighs in at roughly 224 pages, consisting of about 81,100 words – this includes the side-stories as well as all of the author's notes and disclaimers.

I had one, truly dedicated pre-reader on this one: Ryoma, so I want to take a moment to thank him for all of his input and feedback – THANKS!! :)

As always, feedback is welcome and encouraged.  Send to random1377@yahoo.com

Thanks for reading!!


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